Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit

[jackierabbit1]

Thank you Grace, I had fun writing it as well. I wasn't aware of the Ted and Teddy story to be honest, but I intend to read it soon, so thank you for that.

Thanks again, Jackie.

[jackierabbit1]

Thank you Feline, I thought the setting was fun, but I'll bet it was hard to see where the toy bear in the title would find it's way into the actual story, at least for the first few paragraphs. Rose is a fun character, but she just gets steamrolled by my alter ego's rougher and more pragmatic character, adroitly trapped so to speak. She has a history of her own, we're to learn, but it's hinted at and not fully explained.

I agree that Rose needs to be put into her place, but what happened to her is a little beyond that, although nobody's there to stop things, be that voice of reason.

I left the hanging ending, as you said, to see if there was interest, and there apparently was, so I'm working on that now, this a little detour from my other ongoing projects.

I should have perhaps explained this better, the "second" bear doesn't exist, Rose only bought one, but she should have bought at least two, in case the first broke, as it apparently did. "If you need one, buy two" it's my mantra with things that are either inexpensive, or critical to the job at hand. Think parachute, skydivers always have two, just in case something terrible happens with the primary one on the way down. In that case the second chute isn't cheap, but priceless if needed.

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.

[MaxRoper]

Like all Jackie's tale, this is well written and scrupulously edited with humor, delightful characters, and a fascinating backstory. Probably the best thing I've read here in years. What a fantastic concept! And a concept fulfilled exceptionally, including the cliffhanger ending. I can't add much to the overflowing comments already posted (which shows there's some life in the constituency here after all).

Understanding these things can take a lot of time, I will patiently await the next installment.

Thank you!

[jackierabbit1]

Thank you Max, I am humbled by your kind words. I thought the characters were fun and lifelike, and as I have mentioned the entire story was inspired by one kinky picture sent to me by another. I am working on part two, as I have to tell the rest of the story now, and I will admit that there is more than a fleeting interest in taking Rose's place inside that toy for some public display of my own.

Thank you again, Jackie.

[teanndaorsa]

More costumed fun for our protagonist in today's follow-up: Toy Bear Missing from the Window

[trash princess]

absolutely adoring this story. is there going to be more?

i kinda want to see rose win at least once against our lovely main character

[jackierabbit1]

Thank you femboy. I was toying around with Mr. B placing Rose in a position over my alter ego at the store, because the two had worked together so well on the bear project. I was originally thinking of forcing my alter ego into the bear costume at the party, and then letting Rose run the snot out of her in part two for a little well deserved retribution, but I thought that was to predictable.

 I like Rose, and maybe this little adventure will toughen her up a little, or maybe she'll get steamrolled by my alter ego still again? Rose has a history of her own, she's a walking contradiction after all, and it might be fun to explore that.

To be honest I thought part two was a good story too, but it didn't generate all that much interest so I was intending to let it drop. I will revisit that thought with your interest though.

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.

[trash princess]

oh please do. i'm a sucker for a good, sexy story.

[Eido]

Part 2 was a fun read, and it kept me guessing. Was Mr. B in on this somehow? Would Rose put up more of a fight or seek revenge? What's going on with the main character?

Did I miss her name somewhere?

Your portrayal of her was so well balanced between likeable rogue and minor villain deserving some comeuppance.

Not to make this all about me, but well written stories always make me look at my own work with new perspective.

Thanks for sharing. I hope there's more to come!

Good day,
Eido

[jackierabbit1]

Thank you for your kind words. I write a lot in the first person, as if I'm telling the story myself, so these characters are like a version of me. I don't always properly introduce them as a result, and I should do something about this as a writing style. What do you think, going forward should I introduce the main character somehow, for clarity?

In the real stories of the things that we've done, the main character really is me, and in the other more fictional stories it's the me that would like to have the courage and opportunity to do some of these things, but the real world just doesn't work like that. Some of those are very loosely inspired by real world things, and others flat out fiction. My stories from the male perspective are like that too, but those have been with limited success to be honest, as in House Punishment.

Mr. B knew something was up, that he wasn't getting the whole story from my alter ego, but he's a wealthy man who's used to looking past the BS, and he reads his key people well as a result. He has the store detective to keep him informed too, and other sources as well, so he knows, or will know, that there is some hidden truth, just not exactly what it is yet.

My alter ego main character isn't clearly defined, some may love her, some may not, and I like that you picked up on her obvious imperfections. She's had a lot of experiences so far, and not all of them positive, so this has given her a pragmatic and perhaps jaded way of seeing things, where Rose isn't quite there yet. I like Rose as a character, and if I can get around to a part three I intend to have her in a position of authority over my alter ego at the store, because the two worked so well together on the bear project, by Mr. B's direct order.

As far as the kept guessing part, I thought just about everybody would have expected my alter ego to end up in the bear for part two, so I decided to have a surprise and NOT do that.

I as well like to read other's work, and there are a bunch of talented writers like yourself at the plaza with which to chose. Thanks again for your kind words, Jackie.


 

[Eido]

An introduction would be nice, and it doesn't even have to be a data dump a la "My name's Joe Bagga'doughnuts and I'm 5' 9" with blue eyes..." etc.  Her character described herself over the course of the stories, so just having her name mentioned in the dialog a few times would close the loop, I think.

She is very relatable, if that's a word, a sort of realistic character in fantasy (at least to me) situations, by which I mean she's got her ups and downs.

I don't mean to gush, but it was a fun read, and it was fun and educational from a writing perspective too.

Eido

[jackierabbit1]

Thank you, but I think it would be Joeybagadoughnuts, if you're a Dan B fan.

Jackie.