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Bondage => BoundStories Website Stories Feedback => Topic started by: teanndaorsa on December 26, 2020, 11:00:41 pm

Title: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: teanndaorsa on December 26, 2020, 11:00:41 pm
You can view the story here on the plaza:

https://www.boundstories.net/storiessz/toy_bear_in_the_window.html
F/f; MF/f; tape; bond; gag; toys; plug; public; hum; reluct; XX

https://www.boundstories.net/storiessz/toy_bear_missing_from_the_window.html
MF/f; bond; costume; gag; toys; plug; electro; public; hum; reluct; XX

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks  ;)
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: crimsin on December 27, 2020, 06:20:15 am
This was an interesting setup.  I would like to hear more and perhaps a few of the narrator's own adventures. It seemed like every part of the warehouse had been involved.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 27, 2020, 09:02:27 am
Thank you. I can't take total credit for this one, I was sent a picture of a bound woman in a bear costume, and the story just about wrote itself from that one picture. There is a part two that I have yet to write, explaining where Rose has gotten to, and gotten into as well.

 I wanted to make this story about Rose and her reluctant adventure, and I didn't know if putting my alter ego's own experiences with the guys in there would be a distraction from that story, or just add some depth to her character, so this feedback from you is helpful in that regard.

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: teanndaorsa on December 27, 2020, 09:21:26 pm
I did like the fact that the story was set 'in medias res' so to speak, it gives a richer sense that there is a world here and characters which are more than one dimensional. I think it's usually better to err on the side of subtlety in that regard though, hints that there are other stories to tell make the reader wonder about the bigger picture, but straying into giving details of those things can definitely distract from the story at hand. It's a good thing for the author to imagine and set out the world in which their story is based, but not all of that research has to make it onto the page; it's enough that it's been done, so that the characters and situations are internally consistent, as well as allowing continuity between multiple stories.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: feathersntar on December 27, 2020, 10:25:24 pm
I loved that, very creative and I would love to know what happened to that poor toy bear!  ;)
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 28, 2020, 09:23:48 am
Thank you teanndaorsa, it's all good advice, and I appreciate it. I sometimes struggle with the details, and I'm always looking for that balance between detail, and distraction. There are a few things that are mentioned in part one that are relevant to part two though, and I wanted to get them out there without making it too obvious, nor leading to an overly predictable conclusion.

Thanks again, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 28, 2020, 09:29:27 am
Thank you feathersntar, I had fun writing it. I definitely know what happens to Rose in the bear costume, and I'm obligated to tell the second part of that story too.

Thank you for your kind words, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: trash princess on December 28, 2020, 04:00:45 pm
oh i really want to know what happens next. this is looking good.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: Eido on December 28, 2020, 07:48:38 pm
A fun read, and too good a set up to just leave us hanging. I hope to find out what becomes of naughty Rose!

Eido
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: drulema on December 29, 2020, 03:33:39 am
Yep, you hit this one out of the park! I used to work as an engineer in warehouses, and I know how much fun the workers there like to have. And you're right about the office women - they never wanted to go to the warehouse and often had me go up to their "carpet land" to personally tell me what was needed.

Having a naked girl trapped in that suit at the mercy of a remote is a clever idea. I think her abduction from the window was an inside job! Looking forward to the second part.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 29, 2020, 09:50:54 am
Thank you Femboy, I am working on part two now, I had fun writing it to be honest.

Thanks again, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 29, 2020, 09:56:43 am
Thank you Eido, I thought they were all fun characters, with real character flaws like we all have. I'm working on the second part of the story now, and I hope it's not to predictable.

Thank you again, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 29, 2020, 10:30:50 am
Thank you Drulema, and to think this was inspired by one little picture too. I worked a teenage job in a big department store once, so the setting kind of comes from that, and the guys there were fun too, lots of playful pranks between us, I accepted as one of the "guys." "What happens in the back rooms stays in the back rooms" kinds of things, this a time before security cameras were everyplace though.

 The front office people dressed and acted a certain way though, my required steel toe work shoes and blue jeans alone separating me from them in their nice dresses and heels; different uniform for a different job I suppose. To say that I was just a little envious at times would be an understatement, and the front office girls never ventured into the bowels of the store either. There were lines of separation between us, and them.

As far as the abduction, it was most certainly an inside job, the details to follow.

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: gracylacy on December 29, 2020, 03:02:53 pm
Loved this story.  Hope you continue it.  Has some elements of story "Ted to Teddy' by Grace in it. 
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: feline on December 29, 2020, 04:24:55 pm
For the first half, or more, of this story I was actually much more interested in the warehouse, the characters there, and the history that we were seeing pieces of, and learning about :)  There are enough hints, once we start getting enough clues to understand the full extend of the rewards and encouragements at work, to really make this very interesting and fun!

The sense of "she deserves to be put in her place" comes through very well, but it is also explained well, there is a sense of who and why that works very well.

Once we finally get her more fully into the bear costume this gets a lot more fun and sexy, since my focus and attention shifts from the warehouse and what wicked fun happens there, to what is going on with our "willing" helper, and what is happening here.

The hanging ending is wicked, but is also a very good way of finding out how much interest, if any, there is in where all of this is going.

I do think though that the comment about buying two bears does need to be explained, it seems a shame for two bears to exist yet not be made good use of...  ;D
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 30, 2020, 09:44:21 am
Thank you Grace, I had fun writing it as well. I wasn't aware of the Ted and Teddy story to be honest, but I intend to read it soon, so thank you for that.

Thanks again, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 30, 2020, 10:19:14 am
Thank you Feline, I thought the setting was fun, but I'll bet it was hard to see where the toy bear in the title would find it's way into the actual story, at least for the first few paragraphs. Rose is a fun character, but she just gets steamrolled by my alter ego's rougher and more pragmatic character, adroitly trapped so to speak. She has a history of her own, we're to learn, but it's hinted at and not fully explained.

I agree that Rose needs to be put into her place, but what happened to her is a little beyond that, although nobody's there to stop things, be that voice of reason.

I left the hanging ending, as you said, to see if there was interest, and there apparently was, so I'm working on that now, this a little detour from my other ongoing projects.

I should have perhaps explained this better, the "second" bear doesn't exist, Rose only bought one, but she should have bought at least two, in case the first broke, as it apparently did. "If you need one, buy two" it's my mantra with things that are either inexpensive, or critical to the job at hand. Think parachute, skydivers always have two, just in case something terrible happens with the primary one on the way down. In that case the second chute isn't cheap, but priceless if needed.

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.

Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: MaxRoper on December 30, 2020, 07:48:52 pm
Like all Jackie's tale, this is well written and scrupulously edited with humor, delightful characters, and a fascinating backstory. Probably the best thing I've read here in years. What a fantastic concept! And a concept fulfilled exceptionally, including the cliffhanger ending. I can't add much to the overflowing comments already posted (which shows there's some life in the constituency here after all).

Understanding these things can take a lot of time, I will patiently await the next installment.

Thank you!
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on December 31, 2020, 10:10:54 am
Thank you Max, I am humbled by your kind words. I thought the characters were fun and lifelike, and as I have mentioned the entire story was inspired by one kinky picture sent to me by another. I am working on part two, as I have to tell the rest of the story now, and I will admit that there is more than a fleeting interest in taking Rose's place inside that toy for some public display of my own.

Thank you again, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: teanndaorsa on February 14, 2021, 11:59:07 am
More costumed fun for our protagonist in today's follow-up: Toy Bear Missing from the Window
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: trash princess on March 31, 2021, 09:05:05 am
absolutely adoring this story. is there going to be more?

i kinda want to see rose win at least once against our lovely main character
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on March 31, 2021, 09:41:18 am
Thank you femboy. I was toying around with Mr. B placing Rose in a position over my alter ego at the store, because the two had worked together so well on the bear project. I was originally thinking of forcing my alter ego into the bear costume at the party, and then letting Rose run the snot out of her in part two for a little well deserved retribution, but I thought that was to predictable.

 I like Rose, and maybe this little adventure will toughen her up a little, or maybe she'll get steamrolled by my alter ego still again? Rose has a history of her own, she's a walking contradiction after all, and it might be fun to explore that.

To be honest I thought part two was a good story too, but it didn't generate all that much interest so I was intending to let it drop. I will revisit that thought with your interest though.

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: trash princess on April 03, 2021, 01:36:07 pm
oh please do. i'm a sucker for a good, sexy story.
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: Eido on May 05, 2021, 01:19:19 am
Part 2 was a fun read, and it kept me guessing. Was Mr. B in on this somehow? Would Rose put up more of a fight or seek revenge? What's going on with the main character?

Did I miss her name somewhere?

Your portrayal of her was so well balanced between likeable rogue and minor villain deserving some comeuppance.

Not to make this all about me, but well written stories always make me look at my own work with new perspective.

Thanks for sharing. I hope there's more to come!

Good day,
Eido
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on May 06, 2021, 11:03:24 am
Thank you for your kind words. I write a lot in the first person, as if I'm telling the story myself, so these characters are like a version of me. I don't always properly introduce them as a result, and I should do something about this as a writing style. What do you think, going forward should I introduce the main character somehow, for clarity?

In the real stories of the things that we've done, the main character really is me, and in the other more fictional stories it's the me that would like to have the courage and opportunity to do some of these things, but the real world just doesn't work like that. Some of those are very loosely inspired by real world things, and others flat out fiction. My stories from the male perspective are like that too, but those have been with limited success to be honest, as in House Punishment.

Mr. B knew something was up, that he wasn't getting the whole story from my alter ego, but he's a wealthy man who's used to looking past the BS, and he reads his key people well as a result. He has the store detective to keep him informed too, and other sources as well, so he knows, or will know, that there is some hidden truth, just not exactly what it is yet.

My alter ego main character isn't clearly defined, some may love her, some may not, and I like that you picked up on her obvious imperfections. She's had a lot of experiences so far, and not all of them positive, so this has given her a pragmatic and perhaps jaded way of seeing things, where Rose isn't quite there yet. I like Rose as a character, and if I can get around to a part three I intend to have her in a position of authority over my alter ego at the store, because the two worked so well together on the bear project, by Mr. B's direct order.

As far as the kept guessing part, I thought just about everybody would have expected my alter ego to end up in the bear for part two, so I decided to have a surprise and NOT do that.

I as well like to read other's work, and there are a bunch of talented writers like yourself at the plaza with which to chose. Thanks again for your kind words, Jackie.


 
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: Eido on May 06, 2021, 07:47:41 pm
An introduction would be nice, and it doesn't even have to be a data dump a la "My name's Joe Bagga'doughnuts and I'm 5' 9" with blue eyes..." etc.  Her character described herself over the course of the stories, so just having her name mentioned in the dialog a few times would close the loop, I think.

She is very relatable, if that's a word, a sort of realistic character in fantasy (at least to me) situations, by which I mean she's got her ups and downs.

I don't mean to gush, but it was a fun read, and it was fun and educational from a writing perspective too.

Eido
Title: Re: Toy Bear in the Window by Jackie Rabbit
Post by: jackierabbit1 on May 07, 2021, 12:42:48 am
Thank you, but I think it would be Joeybagadoughnuts, if you're a Dan B fan.

Jackie.