The Chateau by Budman

[feline]

Enjoying part 5, but having to re-read it since I didn't work out my comments as I read it, and I got confused.

Going back over it, I now know why.  After being chained up and before being led upstairs, there was no mention of a blindfold, which makes sense, since she has to navigate the stairs in chains.  When she gets upstairs there is a comment about her working out where she is going since she remembers the layout of the house, which is odd, since she can clearly see where she is going.

Once secured to the post, Heather takes the time to look into her eyes, making sure that she is still OK with what is happening, and how she is being treated, harshly, as an object and about to be used as a general purpose sex toy by the rest of the group, but rather in keeping with her wishes, desires and fantasises, plus her clearly deeply submissive nature.

So clearly no blindfold here, but then, as we are getting ready to eat, she is once more blindfolded.

Happy to accept that I am nit picking here, but keeping consistency of these sorts of points is important for the story to flow, and the reader to follow the flow of events.  I assume you are suggesting a blindfold was applied at the top of the stairs, once the most dangerous part was done, and then lifted for the check in, only later to be replaced by the hood.

Focussing back on the events and the characters, the rest of the group is generally accepting and getting used to her new role as prisoner and lesser, even her friend is slowly coming round, the "simple" lack of communication is doing a great deal to drive that gap, that growing gulf, between the two sides.  More than that though, it is interesting to see how Heather has shifted from such a protective "keep your hands off of her" tiger to the chief jailer and torturer, since the enema was simply harsh and painful, and could have been done more gently, but Heather clearly had no interest in doing so.

Then we have the interesting dynamic that showing Heather as well groomed, with makeup, and the main sex object and focus of the group is going to fuel jealousy and anger in the other women, as Heather is probably seen as "cheating" to get this extra attention from the men.  At the same time, Carl is going to be struggling with seen as going soft on Heather, and given how going soft on her is a direct threat to their very cushy situation, he is then going to need to become stricter to avoid being seen as a weak link himself.

Then, during the meal, the blindfold becomes even more important, since she has no warning about the incoming clothes pegs.  But also, it gets everyone naturally and casually involved with her punishment.  No one is "forced" to partake, but everyone does, yet again reinforcing that punishing the prisoner is a natural part of the order of things, and something that everyone just does as a natural and normal part of their day.

And again, as the hood comes out, the blindfold has mysteriously disappeared.

The reaction to the hood going on is well done and powerful.  Having your head suddenly so enclosed, so covered, so many senses effected, is powerful, more powerful than you might expect, so good to see this captured and reflected here!

The panic at the blindfolded hood is good, it feels genuine, and keeps our prisoner feeling like an actual person, not just an empty shell.  But also, it shows and reinforces for everyone listening that everything for Heather is now all about her next orgasm, that she is "nothing" more than a sex object, someone who is all about her own personal pleasure, quite possibly at the entire groups expense!

Seeing Paula step up and reassure Carl, showing how "acceptable" it is to treat their prisoner like this is appealing, and continues to show the massive shift in perspective and approach Paula has taken since the start of this.

The silent communication between Paula and the house owner, the sense of two people who understand BDSM leading and educating the others is interesting and fun.

I wonder if the rule about not talking is going to change later, it seems odd to keep her silent for ever, missing out on her begging for orgasms will be a shame, since it reinforces the whole point that its all about sex and orgasms for Heather, while everyone else is more aware of the bigger picture, and what she is "buying" for all of them with her imprisonment.

[Budman0_0]

feline,
You are SO right about the blindfold.  And the funny thing is - I caught it myself last week.  I was re-reading several chapters to make sure of my continuity on the chapters I'm writing now (Chapter 26) and I noticed the same thing - it's there, it's off, it's there, it's off.
I fixed my copy.
But one thing that Teann, the owner of this site, requests is that we authors not constantly send her revisions of stories we have already submitted.

The other thing I'm constantly having to watch for is character confusion - I'm always writing Heather when I mean Maggie.  I seem to confuse those two names more than any other.  I think I've caught myself most times I've done that - but I note you may have the same problem :-).
I'm not nit-picking but reread your 6th paragraph, second sentence above.

But seriously, I do appreciate your well thought out comments and suggestions, even the nit picking.  Keep reading!

[feline]

Oh I definitely get characters names confused, and without a handy cheat sheet on hand here, for who is who, I often just think of them more by their role / nature, than their name.

As for editing it, if this is as good as it looks to be, its something I am going to be re-reading, so I am doing some clean up editing of my own, for a saved out to re-read copy, where I also fixed the blindfold.

Having said that, turning to chapter 6, eager to see where we are going...

So, our prisoner is all wet and eager, no shock there!  In a sense she is living the dream, it just needs more orgasms to really come alive!

I had to go back and check, but yes, it is her friend, her closest companion and one of the women who have tried to stand up the hardest for our prisoner who has started things off, making use of her mouth and getting two men to start playing with her!  That is both a delight, and a fascinating change of perspective in only a few days on Maggie's behalf.  Then again, she was also the only one who seemed aware that our prisoner had a thing for the cell, so perhaps it is easier for her to make the mental shift to this point of view.

Well... there we go!  She stops licking, and her best friend is the one ordering the punishment to get her back to licking and providing pleasure to others!

And then the humour from Mal, laughing that soon our prisoner won't be tight at all...  again, clear signs of a shift in their thinking and perspective, and looking at her much more as an object than a person.

*nods* proper consideration for the others, and not spoiling their fun by letting the prisoner orgasm to soon.  Also learning and remembering to warn the woman on her mouth before giving her her first taste of anal sex!

OOOOH!  Everyone is joining in on the fun of the prisoner being taken in the arse for the first time!  No sense of shame, as expected, but more interestingly, so far no sense or any hints of sympathy, concern or empathy either!  Then again, they are high on good food, some alcohol, and plenty of sex, so have other priorities.

I wonder how aware, how much Carl is remembering that our prisoner needs g-spot stimulation to orgasm when he oh so casually suggests no one bothers to fuck her pussy...  is it just a selfish focus on the mans pleasure, or a bit of wicked teasing of the prisoner as well?

The move to Maggie biting Paula's ass though, it is a reminder that they have had the time to learn each others kinks and preferences over time, and also shows a clear willingness to focus, at least on Maggie's part, to give the others what they want and need.  So I do wonder how much she is trying to give her friend the BDSM experience she wants, and how much she is simply accepting the change of status and world view that is being encouraged here.

Interesting insight into what Mal wants and needs from sex, and the casual cruelty along with the clear excitement and massive high of all of this, it seems he is someone really embracing having a captive slut to use and abuse!  The group dynamics really are starting to shift heavily here!

Tying our prisoners orgasm to her giving one to Paula is appropriate, but what almost interests me more is the sense of a growing relationship between Paula and our house owner.  She doesn't care who he fucks, but she does want company and cuddles with and from him.  Perhaps another small reminder that in her own way she is also an outsider in this group, and is looking for something slightly different.  At the same time, having the two aware and experienced BDSM practitioners working smoothly together and on the same page is going to be very important to keep all of this tickling along well.

Now THAT is interesting, Maggie's comment that only now does the slut talk...  really reinforcing the point that from Heather's point of view, its all and only about her own pleasure and orgasms, and the rest of the group just don't matter, and their priorities aren't her priorities.

Desert though, I don't recall plans for desert.  Also good to see Paula looking out for our prisoner and making sure she gets more than one orgasm.  We do need to keep her happy, in her own kinky way after all.

There is an interesting, almost subtle fun to the food play, when the other women are smearing chocolate and cream before making the prisoner lick it off of them, this is virtually the first, and only treat food she has had since locking herself in the cell without discussing or planning things with anyone else.  So another point linking pleasing her captors with her own pleasure, as if that needed to be reinforced.

Blindfold time again, Paula showing Heather the giant strap on, but the blindfold has not been removed.  Deciding it is removed when the ankle chain is released.

OK...  yet, going for WOW, that is WELL done!  Just seen the red, the small tear, Heather wanting, needing to go "home", but not wanting to be released.  The changes going through the group, the different reactions, the concern, then the...  well, acceptance I suppose.  If the after care wasn't such a priority then this would be going to a bad place, but she is still being looked after, cared for and treated well, for all that her home is now the prison cell.

The next morning, that is a shock...  Curled up as if cold, dead to the world, yet still found the energy somewhere during the night to so very firmly reject the "luxury" of the sleeping bag blanket!!!

Then the jump forward in time, but we need the jumps to move events forward at a reasonable pace.  With nothing happening most of the time, why would the prisoner not just sleep a lot?  The very casual and accepting way everyone is now using her for sex though, while being careful that only they get pleasure, the shift is clear and well accepted by all now.  So now I have to wait again to find out what the next step in all of this is going to be.

I do hope you have given some sensible thought to where all this is going to end, our prisoner isn't going to be happy, or particularly functional for a while, just released back into the world as a free woman, especially not with this group.  They have all become far to used to these new roles and relationships...

[Budman0_0]

Release Heather?  I would never be so cruel.

[feline]

Having read part 7, I REALLY enjoyed it, since I find the character development, and what is happening here, really interesting and fun, but I am not sure how sexy I would call this part.  Then again, it is doing something more important than "just" being sexy, it is building the story, the situation and the characters, moving us forward, and preparing for something new.

What is really striking is how busy everyone else is becoming, and the point that you can only laze around and do nothing for so long before it becomes just far to boring is interesting, and resonates well with me.  It also makes the contrast with our prisoner in the basement all the more stark.  The image of Carl becoming the stereotypical IT nerd buried in his laptop all of the time makes me giggle, especially since there is a slut ready and waiting for use in the basement cell *smirk*

Seeing the group finally reach out to the local community in a more useful, constructive and sensible manor also works well.  Playing to your strengths is a lot more sensible than wanting some piecemeal work while passing through, or trying to "sell" without selling drugs.

Again though the ongoing contrast, hot showers for most of them, but still only cold water in the basement cell.

It wouldn't really be a surprise if Tim is starting to turn into a sadist.  Consider that you have been busy trying, and mostly succeeding, in separating the group into two quite different sides, the jailers and the prisoner, while also clearly dehumanising the prisoner, and encouraging and rewarding her punishment.  Given all of this, having at least one of the jailers start to simply enjoy hurting the prisoner doesn't seem that surprising, but it is definitely something that needs to be monitored, lest it cause problems and bring an early end to everything.

OK, its a Gor reference, including an odd name that doesn't mean anything to me.  I do remember reading the first Gor book many years ago, but I don't think I ever really got any further than that, so I do find the fact that Gor seems to be a cult classic for its slave rules for women amusing, since I don't really remember much about that from the first book.  Not that this much matters, but it does, as noted, speak to Paula having a deeper history in BDSM than explained so far.

Yep, Tim is showing considerable, and perhaps unwise, interest in punishments.  At least this is being picked up.

At the same time, clearly Maggie is still not expected to be a fan of keeping her friend as a prisoner, which is reasonable, since she really doesn't seem to understand at all.  Which is one of the elements that helps to keep the characters fun and interesting!

The conversation with Maggie, about the submissive needing to be punished, needing to feel that someone cares enough to monitor and correct her behaviour is interesting.  You get the sense that Maggie is trying to understand, but also that she simply doesn't get this at all.  Then again, why would she, why should she?  She has no reference points and no experience here.

The idea that you need to treat the prisoner, still nearly never referred to by name, as if she was Dr. Hannibal Lecter makes me giggle.

Maggie is still taking the view that he is taking advantage of, and using, Heather, which is still a fair and reasonable perspective by many standards.  It is good to see this, it stops all of the characters blending into one, and it makes sure that we have the interesting experience of seeing someone who is basically completely vanilla getting something of a forced education in all of this.

The conversation in the cellar, apart from the clear and growing frustration on Maggie's part, as clearly her friend is not responding how a "normal woman" should ever respond, the bit that really stands out is Heather's comment that this was never a game to her.  Again we are reminded that she has been looking, for a while now, for a full on 24/7 experience, which is something most people simply cannot provide or offer her.

Keeping your mouth shut when the mad Maggie returns from the cellar, GOOD call!  You do NOT want to be the lightning rod for her anger!

Another "small" bit, turning down Reese offering to help with your raging erection, for all that you have joined this free love group quite often, and are so interested in having a helpless captive, you really do come across as someone looking for a 1 on 1 sexual relationship, which makes the idea of having a sex slave as a prisoner all the more amusing, since this is in addition to your 1 on 1 relationship.

You may not be the enemy in Maggie's eyes, but you come DAM close, since you are the root of this evil, you introduced it, and brought Heather's needs fully into the light...

Tied to the bars, and Maggie is still so angry.  Reese saying she would like to sexually torment and watch Heather really isn't helping, but at the same time, from such a sexual group, what else do you expect?  At least it wasn't one of the men offering, since that would really have set Maggie off.

We end without an update on Maggie's anger, but it is interesting, how the different people are feeling here.  Our man is caught worked up and desperate, Reese is willing to help with sex and teasing, while Maggie and Paula are much more preoccupied.  It is good to learn more about Paula and her history, but also, I am now left waiting to see what is going on with Maggie, and how she is going to try to reconcile what is happening in the basement with her clear views on the fact that her friend is being "taken advantage of", and that this is not what women should want, or how women should be treated...

[Budman0_0]

It's incredibly valuable in my development as a writer, to see how you view the story, the characters and the various interactions.  It's even more interesting because I already know where the story is going, having most of it "in the can."
I just wish more readers would take the time to give their thoughts and input.

[feline]

It is constant issue, that authors are crying out for feedback and thoughts on their writing.  But, at the same time, a lot of authors never make any effort to then engage when people do try and comment on their stories.

It obviously takes a chunk of time and mental effort to comment at great length, not comparable to writing in the first place, but not nothing either.  So when you do have a lot to say, and the author shows no interest, you don't tend to bother again.

Plus, I only tend to comment if I have something positive and constructive to say.  Simply being negative about writing is easy, but hardly helpful or encouraging.

[feline]

I just read this part when it first came out, and while I did enjoy it, I found myself not sure about our captive, she seems so lacking in details, just not fleshed out, which stands out compared to some of the other characters who we are really starting to learn more about, and know more about.

So having another look, to try and pin down some of these thoughts and perspectives while deciding what I think about events.

OK, and yes, I remember being really "confused" by how part 8 starts.  Why do we start with Paula being asked if she still considers herself to be a switch, it seems like an important question, a question that should thus have baring on what is about to happen, but it never seems to actually matter at all.  Of is this part of some general and ongoing conversation where he is working out where his relationship with her is going?  Still, after the chapter break, you start the new chapter by focusing on something, and this comes across as something to focus on, but then we don't care.

OK, I had to go back and double check, but we do have Heather, our prisoners best friend, taking obvious and sadistic glee in teasing, tormenting, basically torturing her with the vibrator and by the looks of it, plenty of planned orgasm denial.  This seems a big and significant shift in her perspective and behaviour, but perhaps its just the way her anger at her friend is playing out.  She did decide to put her into this difficult position and leave her there after all, so that could fit.

Realistically no one else gets, or expects, our prisoner to be SO desperate to be kept as and remain as a prisoner...  then again, thinking back on it, was anyone else present for the conversation when she explained that she has long wanted a real, 24/7 slave experience, and that this really is her dream come true?  Most people wouldn't really believe a comment like that, but all of the evidence points towards this really being who and what she is.

So the test of having her refuse to orgasm if she wants to be kept a prisoner, after all of the weeks of basically begging for and clearly being desperate for an orgasm is one hell of a way of showing and proving this point to the rest of the group.

Perhaps Maggie has always had a hidden sadistic side to her, but this change in character seems extreme.  It looks like she has finally come round to accepting that her best friend really does want and need this treatment though, and that she is no longer going to fight to save her friend from herself.  Still, some understanding of her thoughts here would be nice.

Its an interesting mixture, the instructions for taking the prisoner out to get some sun.  Looking after her emotional state by making sure she is in enough restraints to be reassured that she is not being released from her captivity, and looking out for sun exposure, while also reminding people to make use of her as a human sex toy.

Getting back from his errands, I was caught up on the whole cum dripping from the captives arse, since I clearly remember the comment that condoms needed to be worn before anal sex during the orgy, but on reflection, given she is a human sex toy, and no one was moving between her different holes, this is safe enough, and normal enough.  Still, it gave me pause to wonder about it.

So the growing relationship between Heath and Paula gets addressed, and he is quite willing to give up a sex toy for his woman - that is something I very much approve of.  It does beg the question of if Paula is still having sex with the others when the mood takes her, but it doesn't really matter, so long as they are honest and open with each other, that is what matters.

Its the description of her being "their slut" that makes me smile though, both the possessive and casual nature of the comment

OK, so possible translator, but also just a possible new character to get involved in things.  The mayors daughter is clearly rather open minded, but also has commitments.  Still, simply asking her to work as a translator, and nothing else, is reasonable enough, and there is clearly a good need for this skill.

I am tempted to wonder about the value of all of the tools that have just been purchased for the building, but given his apparent wealth, and the fact that this is becoming a long term base and project, its reasonable and clearly required.  I am more interested in and curious about the sex toys his company makes, and the fun to be had with those!

Nice to see that our prisoner can and will be rewarded with orgasms occasionally.  I mean, some rewards and encouragements are rather important after all.

She is still quite the black box, we have some understanding of what drives her, but she feels more like an object the story is built around at times, rather than an actual part of the story.  Still, I am very much enjoying the journey, and am curious to see where we are going here.

[Budman0_0]

feline,
As soon as I looked at the story online, I realized I had cut chapter 7 and 8 at the wrong place.  That sentence about Paula switching belonged on the end of Chapter 7.  But then I also needed more of a transition sentence to start Chapter 8.  My bad - I've fixed it in my copy.

I see Maggie and shifting her perspective from one of anger at Heather to learning to support what Heather really wants - captivity and sexual torment.

All I will say about the "cum dripping from her ass" is, note the involvement of Tim.  You are picking up on some foreshadowing - which gives me pleasure that you noticed.

Lucija will become a major character - and you'll get your wish about the companies sex toys.

Yes, not fleshing out Heather's personality and character more is a conscious choice.  I may fill her out a bit more in the conclusion of the story, I'm writing that now.  But for now in the story she is largely an object.

Another fine analysis feline.  And I DO appreciate the effort you put in!

[feline]

captive - chapter 9

OK, going to start with a slight tangent, but you really do need to try and pay more attention to your speech marks, at both the start and the end of people talking.  When they are missing it makes it harder to follow what you are reading, since you are missing important 'context'.  I can still work it out, but this chapter seemed to have more of this problem than normal, or I just noticed it more.

Now, back to the story and the characters.

OK, I have to start with the first line.  Why would Maggie not still consider our prisoner to be her friend?  She is slowly coming around to seeing and accepting that her friend has needs, definitely needs since this is beyond simple desires, that she didn't really know about, and certainly doesn't properly understand or accept, but she can still be your friend.  It's just going to require some reworking of how the friendship and relationship works is all.  Someone needs to remember this is a living, breathing human being with needs and desires.

The toy selection that gets put on display is indeed impressive, but its the comment, perhaps the leading hint about the electronic toys, and the fact that they actually need training to use well that is really interesting!  Not sure what that is supposed to be hinting at, or referring to, but it really does suggest some serious fun could be coming down the line, since that suggests something rather more interesting than just a remote controlled vibrator.

The risk of a boyfriend being replaced by a vibrator half amuses and half upsets me.  Amusing since it is nice to see the women finally getting the attention they need, and upsetting since it speaks to far to many men who don't set out to properly identify or satisfy their women's needs and desires.  Just because its common doesn't mean I have to approve or like it.

I am with Paula, not seeing a lot of current interest in experimenting with the bondage toys, but with the toys out and available, who knows?  Curiosity can be quite the driver.

Nice to see that romance isn't dead between Paula and our man *smirk*  The cock ring is clearly working well though, good to see!

The "show" of our prisoner being punished, apparently Tim doesn't understand sarcasm.  Or he is so busy getting sex elsewhere that he doesn't care for Paula having a low opinion of him?  Given how he seems to be so caught up with the harsh punishment, perhaps just didn't notice, since all his blood was in the little brain.

The whole talk with Maggie about how to treat a submissive, it is just a big reminder that simply hoping this group can become full time keepers and dominants for their submissive prisoner isn't going to just work without quite a lot of training, support and guidance.  Most of them simply have no idea what to do, what is required of them, or what is and isn't a good idea in all of this.  One of those "subtle" but actually massive problems that needs to be addressed before everything just blows up.

Lucija and taking up the job, yep, wise to make sure her father, the mayor, is in the loop in some suitable manor, before the locals all turn against you and the group, and things go bang, in a bad way, in a whole different way!  It will be interesting to see what happens here.  As it stands it reads and feels like this won't move forward, but the comments on the forum tell us something is going to work out here, since she is still going to be part of the story.  So I shall wait and see on that front.

Offering up the vibrator, I was also expecting Maggie to take her friends side, and try to short circuit the requirements to earn the orgasm with the vibrator, so that was actually a rather surprising result.  It is the "right" result in the sense of supporting our prisoner in her needs and desires, but it still goes against the grain of Maggie's instincts.

It is amusing that everyone has come around to calling the cellar her home

OK, seeing Maggie articulate so clearly what our prisoner wants and needs, it just brings very clearly into focus the fact that having the story end with everyone just going their separate ways, and setting their prisoner free, saying "game over, have a nice rest of your life" would be a very weak and unfulfilling ending.  Something has been set in motion here, and there are growing longer term responsibilities that are building up here!  So don't just give us a pointless ending, make the journey and experience actually worth while!

Getting Maggie involved, as a tough negotiator, for ideas for punishments for points is interesting, but it also helps to push her understanding and acceptance of what her friend really wants and needs in all of this, since it isn't what she expects.

The ending is fun, I do enjoy Reece's reactions to things

[Budman0_0]

Guilty as charged, feline, on the quote marks.
And sadly, Microsoft Word, which does such a good job of catching most of my errors and typos, doesn't help me notice when I've missed quote marks.
I'll try to do better - but most of the chapters are already submitted and Teann doesn't like constant resubmissions after she's prepped stories for the web site (which I completely understand!)
So you may catch some more of these but I hope not many.

[feline]

And we have reached part 10!

So, Lucija did call back, but still clearly thinks the whole thing is pointless.  Definitely trying to strike out on her own, away from her parents.  That is fine, but it isn't going to work well while still living in the village your father is the mayor of!

Well, I would say that meeting is not off to a good start, and that is before the mother wants to disappear, and the daughter and her father end up in a blazing row, completely ignoring him, and his attempt to actually have a conversation here.  Lesser men would just give up on the whole thing as a lost cause at this point and look for a plan B.

*smirk* win one by getting the headstrong daughter to actually shut up and listen.  Being the possible boss is a different position of power, and just shouting at your boss really isn't the solution to work problems.  Looks like she has learned something along the line at least *smirk*

An interesting reason for needing to hire her, and it does suggest some significant long term plans for the Chateau.  Then again, if he can get an open minded community it will be better for his business going forward, things like that really do matter longer term.  Good benefits for his employees is also good.

*smirk* oh dear, power plays by getting up and leaving.  Then again, the point does need to be made, if she is translating this is actually what she needs to do, rather than having side conversations and arguments with her father.  If you cannot show the require strength, this is never going to work.

Yep, translation needs to happen, rather than just being angry at an understandably protective father figure, and he actually does have good answers and points here, if they ever do get translated and passed on *rolls eyes*

LOL, yep, definitely complaining that the BDSM kit is the basic one, rather than the fact that it is a kinky item!

Yep, business as normal, children cannot see their parents as sexual beings.

Perhaps her mother both likes that you have given her daughter a job, and that the toys are good

Interesting, if not entirely surprising, that the people are starting to pair up.  Having the longer term stability is changing the dynamics, even thought they are clearly not giving up on the freestyle sexual lifestyle most of them have long enjoyed.

*sigh* I am getting a strong flashback to a 1960's style robot going "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!"  I wonder why...  oh yes, since Tim's general attitude and approach is starting to scream arsehole, and while arsehole may work very well for objectifying and using a captive slut in the basement, it really doesn't speak well to keeping her safe, looking after her physical and mental health, and the underlying respect that should still be present, in my personal opinion.

The writing is on the wall, at some point Lucija is going to need to learn about your captive slut, and what is really going on here...  if she isn't told, some form of accident is going to bring things to light, and that probably won't go super well...

Yep, Tim is a classic arsehole with apparently next to no respect for women.  Having a living sex object for his regular use really isn't going to be doing anything to control this personality defect.

The collision between Lucija and the captive slut is on peoples minds, but I do wonder how this will be handled.

Well, this is going to be quite the trial by fire, just going by the initial "helpful" comments about her tits and the lube.  She is handling this very well for someone who is quite young really, but having gone to university in another country does show that she has some real willpower to deal with strange situations and push through.

Tim pretended not to notice the negative reaction from the other women?  Seems more likely he really didn't notice, or noticed and simply didn't care in the least bit.  After all, he can get all the sexual relief he wants from the basement slut sex toy, why would he care for the views or reactions from any of the other women in the chateau?

Well...  you know, I find myself thinking that the massive knee to the balls couldn't happen to a more deserving individual.  Thinking longer term though, I do worry that this is just going to encourage Tim abusing and mistreating our captive slut, and not in a healthy way.  Hopefully the others are doing enough to keep him generally in check.

OK, maybe Tim isn't going to go the way I feared.  I would like to see him go in a different direction, and this does sort of hint at him needing a very strong woman to take control of him, certainly not something he is going to get from a chained up captive in the basement.

Getting more and more of the people here on the pay roll is interesting, and helps to build and develop what is happening here.  So of course we are building towards the inevitable discovery...  and things go bang...

*nods* yep, the contrast with Paula being both polite and considerate, while calling her a slut, and completely ignoring the blood is going to make people's heads hurt.  This point took quite a while to reach for everyone else after all!

*giggles* the slut can show you to her cell, well we do need to go straight for the deep end by now!  So lets see how this goes...

Well, to be fair, the escalating panic from the "brainwashed prisoner" is going to slow Lucija down a bit, while she sees more of this, but its going to need quite a bit of trying to talk her round to make much progress here.

Ah, its starting to sink in that the world is a much more interesting, complex and kinky place than you really considered or have seen...  good start, there is some hope here.

LOL, don't unchain me, I might attack you!  Glorious!

*smirk* this is how you lock me back up, yep, just like that...

Well, strictly speaking letting the blood flow is "natural".

Well...  I am tempted to question ending this by taking her arse, but actually, this works best by showing and convincing Lucija that this really is "normal" for then, that this really is what Heather wants and has chosen.  This is going to take some getting used to though for her!

Also there are the clear and repeated hints that something in all of this is getting Lucija worked up and horny, so it will be interesting to learn more about that, and where her interests and desires are going to fit into this growing and complex picture.

[Budman0_0]

I usually read my own stories when they are posted.  And in spite of proofing them multiple times, I always find errors when I read the "live" version.
Yep, in this latest chapter I typed "Maggie" three times when I was referring to Heather.  That's becoming a bad habit of mine.

But thanks for the commentary Feline, as always.

[feline]

I didn't even notice the wrong names, I think I have corrected them in my copy.  Much jumping around between different books and stories, its very easy for me to loose track of who is called what, just remembering their roles and places in the story instead.

[feline]

Onto part 11

I already read and enjoyed this part, and it has been rumbling around in my head for a little while now, so time to have another look, and see if I can pin down some of my thoughts, questions and observations about this part.  Maybe also pin down some of my own thoughts on the developments here...  since I find myself wanting a clearer sense of what is going on inside Lucija's head.

Lucija spending all this time with Heather is a good sign, since it shows she is becoming quite comfortable with the whole "keeping a sex slave prisoner" part of this, which is one hell of a step.  At 18 and of questionable experience though, I do happily agree that putting her on the list of people in charge seems rather a big, and far to early step to take.

It is interesting that she spends so much time talking to Heather, since there is no real sense that anyone else is reaching out to connect to her like this, but it does beg the question of what she is looking for in this connection, even as I feel strongly that some contact and human connection is important for our prisoner!

The dildo with the sensors is very interesting, and I rather like, in a way, the soulless computer voice for the instructions, since it works well with the whole objectifying part of this.  I do wonder what it is doing to Heather's internal state though.

It is interesting, and unexpected, that Lucija wanted the pain from the collar to start at a higher level.  Then there is her obvious sexual response.  At this point it really isn't clear if this is because she is getting pleasure from dominating, and watching the punishment and pain, or if she is looking for something else in this.  Is she picturing herself in the cage, being trained on the dildo?

The whole throwing up, struggling with this in the back of her throat, and the totally mechanical, and merciless nature of the machine, I find myself quite torn here.  On one paw I really like the evil and relentless nature of this machine, its total lack of compassion, mercy or even the concept of compassion.  It makes for the "perfect" trainer and will always keep her motivated and on task.  But on another paw, she is throwing up, this is taking a significant physical toll on her, is her health and condition being properly monitored through this?  Is someone, is anyone, actually making sure that she isn't being pushed to hard, used and abused to much?  There isn't much sense of balance here.

At least the lack of sleep with the training is noticed finally, and all of the hard work on getting better at sucking is appreciated.

Then though we have the strange interaction between Tim and Lucija.  He is showing very clear signs of falling for her, in some sense, but she doesn't really seem that aware of this.

OK...  are we supposed to take Lucija comment that she will move into the chateau and join the whole free love world seriously?  Her comment seems to be being given seriously, but this seems like a massive, and unreasonable step to take.  What is she actually looking for here?  What is her goal?

Yep, well, you are an 18 year old who has mostly grown up in a small village, how are you going to be anything other than sexually inexperienced?  Yes, there are possible options, but they are hardly likely!  So this is exactly what we would expect from you.  If anything, we should all be pleased with how open minded you are to things already!

*sigh* *rolls eyes* yes, I can completely see that Tim is revolting, but Lucija seems remarkably blind to things here...

OK, so is her past boyfriend a large factor here?  Is she left feeling inadequate and sexually incapable?  That would actually make a great deal of sense, since there is nothing in her brief comments to suggest much maturity or support from her brief boyfriend and single lover.  So if she is then comparing herself to the building full of sex-fiends then it makes sense that she feels terribly inexperienced and incapable.  But this is just guessing, and trying to piece together the clues.

*rolls my eyes* wow, shock, her mother probably has given her father blowjobs over the years.  From any form of mature perspective that hardly qualifies as a revelation or a surprise, but I can see how it is a big thing for this little one to wrap her head around.  But why the strong focus on making and selling realistic fake cum?  Is it just a business idea, or is something else driving this interest?  It just feels like there is a lot more to this than something else to sell at work here...

Interesting that he thinks getting the right pump will be the biggest issue, but I do like that, since that sounds like a very realistic and real world issue and consideration to be tackling!  The fake cum is really just a "food" production problem, so much more normal once someone settles on a suitable product.

OK...  so we have gone from wanting to test the products, with a totally solid and logical reason, to wanting to be locked into the shock collar...  for the trainer that she now wants to produce very realistic fake cum...  you know, I cannot help but think she really wants the dildo she is practising on to be producing fake cum that she then has to swallow...  actually, how long before she is demanding / wanting it to be updated to make sure the person being trained actually does swallow all of the fake cum, so that none is found to be leaking?

The entire group knowing she is locked into the shock collar and being trained on blowjobs is a good thing...  what is she looking for here?  Or is this hyper sexual world becoming her new normal?

OK, so now I want to read the next part!  I cannot see Lucija being satisfied with "just" being locked into the shock collar for the trainer and then released when she wants to be released...  so what lines, limits and timescales are being discussed here?  How willing and happy is Maggie going to be here?  At least she is wise and sensible enough to be double checking before moving forward with this rather shocking / surprising request!