Becoming Becky
Prologue – School Struggles (September 1990)
Yet another Friday night, here I was sitting in a college algebra class trying to follow along with the instructor and once again not having very much success. There were a million other places I’d rather be and an equal number of things I’d rather be doing; but yet here I was. I was nearing completion of my bachelor’s degree and had put this algebra course off for as long as I could, but I was finally to a point where I could no longer avoid it.
Perhaps a bit of background is in order. My name is Janet House. No, that’s not my real name, but it will have to do. I was closer to 30 than 20 and recently divorced. It was a short, unpleasant marriage to my supervisor at work. When it went south, and it really went south, I was offered a position in a different department away from him, which I was eager to accept as it was a promotion and a reasonably nice raise. The only issue with the new position was that it required a degree, and while I had went away to college after high school, circumstances led to me leaving school about three semesters short of my degree. As such, an agreement was forged to allow me to finish my degree at the company’s expense. It sounds benevolent on their part, and perhaps it was, but to this day I think they were more concerned about avoiding any sexual harassment claims on my part. Regardless, it was a good deal for me so we agreed that I would take the necessary classes from a local University in what they called their “Weekend College”. Each Weekend College class met once every weekend for four hours, far more convenient than a typical college class. I diligently worked myself through two semesters of classes, taking an extra class each of those semesters. That meant my last semester would only consist of a single class – college algebra.
This particular class met on Friday evenings from 6pm until 10pm at a local middle school. While the location was good for me as it was less than 10 minutes from home and their main campus was nearly a hour away; it was a less than pleasant environment as the school was not air conditioned and it was a typical Midwest September, very hot and very humid. We were only three classes in, but I was already struggling. Actually struggling doesn’t do it justice, I was on a path of failing the class and potentially putting my job in jeopardy.
Our instructor was a middle aged man named Thomas, NOT Tom as he made clear at our first class, who was teaching this class on the side from his regular job and my struggles aside, simply was not a very good teacher. I had spoken to him after class the prior week about my concerns; I had hoped to perhaps arrange for some one-on-one time with him to get up to speed, but he wasn’t keen on that happening. Instead, he suggested that I should seek out a classmate to work with instead; in fact he even had a suggestion for me. The person he mentioned was a young man named Lawrence. Yes that is – well was – his real name. Normally I wouldn’t use a real name, but Lawrence has long since transitioned to a woman and has legally changed her name and as such she has no qualms with me using Lawrence here or referring to her as “he/him/etc” when talking about her pre-transition. So while many who transition don’t feel that way, she does and I’m respecting her wishes.
Chapter 1 – Meeting Lawrence
Lawrence stood out like the proverbial sore thumb. He appeared to be maybe 20 and as such was 10-20 years younger than almost everyone else in the class. Actually I wasn’t even really sure why he was in the class, as he didn’t seem to pay any attention to anything, in fact most of the time he was in class he appeared to be doing something other than math, I assumed it was work for another class he must be taking. I had noticed that he had gotten perfect scores on the quizzes we had taken at each of the first two classes which amazed me since I had done so poorly despite my efforts and here he was coasting through. In fact he had spoken to Thomas just prior to me at the end of the prior class. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I still caught most of the conversation and it revolved around him not coming to class and simply showing up for the final; but Thomas wouldn’t go for that, so Lawrence left looking quite unhappy.
I spent most of my free hours during the week struggling through the material we had covered the prior week, but with little success. As Friday got closer, I decided that perhaps Thomas was right and that I needed to seek out a classmate for assistance. But that presented an issue for me, I was old enough to know I needed help and that Lawrence was in fact the best person in the class to provide it; but I was young enough to have too much pride to ask someone who was probably 10 years younger than me for the help. I finally decided that I needed to swallow that pride and do what I needed to do so I could pass the class and get my degree.
I gave some thought to what I knew about Lawrence. It was obvious that he was painfully shy. He never made any eye contact; when he did speak, it was always in a very quiet tone, even his body language just radiated shy. I assumed he worked in a restaurant and was coming directly from work, as when I had walked by him the prior week he definitely smelled of food, the kind of smell that people who work fast food tend to have when getting off of work. He was obviously smart and he definitely did not appear to be athletic. Basically what I’d call a stereotypical “nerd”.
Based upon what I felt I knew about him, I decided that the best way to approach him about tutoring me would be to flirt a bit. Now I’ve never been mistaken for a supermodel, but I always felt I was reasonably nice looking. Normally I came straight from work to class so I was generally dressed business casual. I didn’t think that look would necessarily appeal to him, so I decided to try and be a touch more appealing for this next class. When Friday came around, I managed to slide out of work a little early and head home to change. I settled on a nice summery dress with some heels. I also redid my makeup for more of a night out look in lieu of the typical work look I normally showed up with. A couple of spritzes of perfume and I was out the door early enough to get there well before class started.
I arrived about 5:30pm, quickly checked my makeup and headed into the classroom to ensure that he hadn’t arrived before me. Arriving at the classroom, there was nobody in there so I set my book down on a desk in the back since that’s normally where Lawrence took up residence, and I headed back outside to wait. 5:30 soon became 5:45, which soon became 6pm with no sign of Lawrence. I reluctantly headed back to the classroom since it appeared that he wouldn’t be coming to class. As it was, more than a few of us were struggling and we spent the first few minutes going over some of the problems from our homework. While we were doing so, perhaps 30 minutes into class, Lawrence finally arrived. Thomas used Lawrence’s entrance to suggest we take the time up until our break to work together in groups on the problems as some of them would be on that evenings quiz. He said he’d go from group to group to assist and that we’d take our quiz after the break this week. But before he did that, he came up to Lawrence, who had grabbed the desk next to mine and asked him to also help out. You could see the look on Lawrence’s face that he wasn’t comfortable doing that, but he reluctantly agreed to do so.
I probably spent more time observing Lawrence than working on those problems. It was painfully obvious that he was very uncomfortable working with the various groups and he disappeared to the bathroom at least twice for extended periods. When it came time to take our break, everyone headed outside. I chose to stop at the restroom to check my makeup as I had decided to try and talk to Lawrence on break about some one-on-one tutoring.
Unfortunately by the time I had gotten outside a couple of my female classmates had already cornered Lawrence and were talking to him. I headed over to the group in the hopes that I could get him alone for a moment to speak with him about the tutoring. As I got up to them, it wasn’t just casual conversation, but rather they were inquiring about him tutoring them. He was trying to gracefully decline without much success. As they were continuing to badger him, I paid careful attention to his body language. It wasn’t so much the body language of somebody who was shy, but rather somebody that was naturally submissive. The other thing I noticed was that both ladies were smoking and that seemed to fascinate him. Especially the younger of the two - Tonya. She was probably in her late 30’s and was dressed as what I’d call a “soccer mom”, with the exception of her lipstick which was a shade of red that I’d expect to see on a prostitute.
I spent a minute or two mentally processing all of this. I had dabbled in BDSM with my ex-husband; actually that’s part of the reason our marriage was such a disaster as he was a hard core dominant and I tried to be submissive to him, but in reality I was at best a switch and probably actually a dominant myself. Watching how he reacted to the one woman in particular told me that I had taken the wrong tact with Lawrence. I shouldn’t try and flirt with him, I should try and come across as more of a very pushy soccer mom myself.
I let them pester Lawrence for another couple of minutes and then I spoke up and suggested that perhaps they should discuss tutoring another time and that instead we could all go back in a few minutes early and get some last minute help from Lawrence before our quiz. He shot me what I’d consider a grateful look and we headed in. He did come in with us and did help us with a few problems before the quiz and it did help; but beyond that I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the rest of class as my mind was working on how I was going to approach him next week.
Chapter 2 – Baiting The Hook
I struggled through my homework during the early part of the week, cursing myself for not paying enough attention in class the prior week. But in reality I couldn’t help it, seeing how Lawrence had reacted to those two women had me certain that not only could I convince him to tutor me, but also that perhaps he could make a suitable submissive for me to learn to become a proper Domme. I had toyed around with a couple of supposed submissive men over the prior year, but they weren’t what I’d consider lifestyle subs, but rather guys looking for the kind of dominance that an actual professional Domme could provide. That wasn’t me.
So I had a decision to make, I could either simply pursue the tutoring as I had originally planned to do, or I could go all-in and try and get both the tutoring and Lawrence’s submission. By Wednesday I had made up my mind that in for a penny, in for a pound, so I decided to go shopping. It wasn’t that I didn’t have plenty of nice clothes, but I really didn’t have much of anything that screamed “soccer mom” and that was the look that really seemed to appeal to Lawrence.
When Friday came around, I again managed to wiggle out of work a touch early and home to change. I did make one concession to my outfit, I just couldn’t do the flats I had picked out, I’m a heels kind of girl. So I went with a reasonable pair of pumps – probably a 2 inch heel versus the 4+ inch shoes I normally wear. I ran into a bit of an issue when I went to do my makeup, I realized I didn’t have any obnoxiously red lipstick. So I hurried out to get some on my way to class. While I was picking that up, I also picked up a pack of Capri 120’s. I strongly suspected he had at least a bit of a smoking fetish and I wanted to play up to that. Now I’m not really a smoker, though I did have an occasional cigarette so putting on a show for him wouldn’t be a problem, and as far as cigarettes go, those seemed to about the most feminine brand around.
Despite the necessary pit stop, I still managed to make it to the school by 5:30pm. Feeling like some cheap prostitute I applied the red lipstick and started to get out of my car to wait for Lawrence. As luck would have it, he arrived just after I did which was surprised me. I waited until he got almost to my car to get out and when I did I called out to him to wait for me. He stopped walking and seemed to give me more than a cursory look – obviously I had chosen the right outfit. Upon catching up to him, I asked why he was so early. His response was that he wanted to avoid having to talk to the two women from last week, so he thought he’d get into class early and wait there. Upon hearing that I decided now was the time to push the issue.
He turned to head towards the entrance, but before he could take more than a step or two I asked him to hold on for a second. He stopped and turned back towards me, again giving me a thorough looking over, before averting his eyes to the ground. I fished into my purse to grab the Capri’s and took one out along with a lighter. I started to light the cigarette, but before I could I decided to see if I could push his buttons a bit. I had gotten my nails done when I had went out shopping, so I asked him if he would mind lighting my cigarette so I didn’t accidently break a nail. It’s not that I couldn’t have done it myself, but I wanted to see how he’d react to what could be construed to be such a submissive act. He started to stammer something, but before he could articulate his thoughts, I placed the lighter in his hand and raised the Capri to my whorish lips.
He stood there staring at the ground for a moment, until I finally broke the silence by asking him “is there a problem?”. Without looking up he said “No”, but made no move to light my cigarette. After a few more seconds I said “If you don’t hurry up, your two “girlfriends” from last week will be here.” He thought about that for a couple of seconds, his face becoming fire engine red, and then nervously looked up and attempted to light my cigarette. I say attempted because he fumbled with the lighter a couple of times without any success. Either he had never used a lighter before or I was having the desired effect on him, I hoped for the latter.
After the third failed attempt to get the lighter working, I looked at him and said in a firm voice “let me help you with that”. I reached out and took the lighter from him as he looked down at the ground obviously embarrassed. I was feeling good about how things were going and decided to push the issue. I told her, “Don’t look at the ground, I want you to watch me so next time you can do this for me.” His eyes slowly came up, but rather than make eye contact with me, he was staring at the cigarette and I knew I was right on about him having at least a bit of a smoking fetish. I tilted my head slightly up and to the left and made a production about lighting the cigarette, his eyes locked on it as the tip of it turned bright red.
I inhaled deeply, or as deeply as you could with one of those skinny Capri’s, and then slowly exhaled the smoke towards him. Not directly in his face, more over his shoulder, but it had an obvious having an impact on him. His breathing picked up more than a bit and while his pants weren’t exactly tenting there was suddenly a bit of a bulge down there. I wasn’t really interested in the burgeoning erection on its own merits, but I was interested in the fact that I was having that sort of effect on him.
I took another drag on the Capri and again exhaled in his general direction before suggesting that we should head towards the building since a couple of other people had now shown up. He looked away from me and towards the building with an obvious bit of reluctance and I started walking towards the entrance. After taking a few steps and realizing that he wasn’t coming along I spun around and saw that he was standing there staring at me. I looked him directly in the eyes and asked him “are you coming or are you just going to stand there all night?” There was a definite tone in my voice, not an angry tone, but rather more of the tone of an agitated mother. He stood there for a moment and then mumbled “sorry” and started walking towards me.
We weren’t all that far from the entrance, probably a few hundred feet at best, so it was a quick walk. As we got near the door I stopped ostensibly so I could finish my cigarette, but in reality I wanted to set the hook that I had so far successfully baited. Lawrence on the other hand started to open the door. At first I thought he was going on in, but then I realized he was holding the door for me. While I appreciated the chivalrous gesture, I needed to have a few word with him first. So I looked over at him and while holding the Capri in my left hand I gestured towards him with it and said “I want to finish this first, you’re not in any hurry to go in are you?”
He stood there holding the door open for a moment while he pondered my question. He seemed to be having an internal debate as to whether or not to go in. After several seconds he let go of the door and turned back to face me, though he was staring at the cigarette in my hand and not looking at me. So I slowly raised it to my lips and took as sexy of an inhale as I could, struggling not to cough as despite the occasional cigarette I was by no means a regular smoker. I held the smoke in for a few seconds and then exhaled towards him. I decided it was time to talk about my need for a tutor. I said “follow me over here, it’s not polite to smoke in front of the door” and with that I walked down the sidewalk and around the corner of the building so we’d be mostly out of the sight of anyone else. I was pleased (and in reality almost surprised) that he followed me without any prompting.
By now I was mostly finished with the Capri so I turned to his and took one last exaggerated drag off of it and made a show out of dropping it to the ground and crushing it out with my pump. You could almost see the disappointment in his face when he realized I was done with the cigarette. This was actually what I was hoping for as I wanted to use his little fetish to my advantage. But before I did that I took a good long look at him, more or less sizing him up.
He was a bit short, with my pumps on we were nearly the same height so I guessed maybe 5’6” or 5’7”. I silently cursed myself for not noticing this before as I would have worn a more typical pair of heels so I would have been taller than him and hopefully a touch more intimidating. It was too late to worry about that now, but it was something I made a mental note of for the future. A touch pudgy perhaps, but not overly so. His outfit consisted of navy blue dress pants, a white dress shirt, and dark tennis shoes. Basically a typical outfit for someone working as a “fast food” manager of some sort. He had on a very unbecoming pair of glasses that served to obscure arguably his best feature which were his hazel eyes. He wasn’t the kind of person who I’d personally find attractive, but with some effort he was someone who could have been reasonably attractive to plenty of women or at least the right woman.
He was obviously sizing me up as well, probably pondering what exactly I wanted, so I let him stew for a few moments while I settled on exactly how I was going to make my pitch to him. I decided to push him a bit further before I got into my tutoring need, so I led off with “shouldn’t you introduce yourself?”
He stammered out “I’m sorry, I’m Lawrence – well actually Chuck, I only use Lawrence when I have to.”
I replied “Well LAWRENCE, my name is Janet and it’s nice to meet you”. I put extra emphasis on the Lawrence to try and keep him off balance and a touch uncomfortable as I felt it would make things easier for me. I continued on “I wanted to speak to you about possibly helping me with this class, math is far from my best subject and it’s the last class I need to finish my degree.”
He stood there for a moment thinking and then said “I, I don’t really do that kind of thing.”
I let that hang in the air for a few seconds and decided that he needed some incentive. So I reached into my purse and took out another Capri and my lighter. His eyes immediately shifted from me to the cigarette. It was now painfully obvious that not only did he have a smoking fetish, it was more of a fetish than I had originally suspected. I extended my hand with the lighter in it and said “I want to have one more cigarette before class, why don’t you give this another shot” and with that I went to hand him the lighter. He took it from me far more eagerly than he had earlier and with my other hand I lifted the Capri to my lips and leaned in towards him so he could light it for me. It took him two tries, but he was able to get it lit this time, though his hand was definitely shaking as he did so.
I rewarded his effort with a long inhale and subsequent exhale right into his face. He obviously wasn’t prepared for that and started coughing a bit. I took this moment to seal the deal so to speak. I said “I’m sure you probably don’t normally tutor people, but I really need the help and there’s not really anyone else in this class that seems capable. You wouldn’t want me to fail the class and not finish up my degree would you?”
He pondered that for a second or two and finally replied. “Um, well, no I’d feel bad if that happened. But, well I work some weird hours and like I said I’ve never really tried to tutor anyone. I’m not sure that I really could.”
I took another drag of my cigarette and again exhaled right at him. “Lawrence, I really need the help and I think you are more than capable of helping me. I’m more than willing to pay you for your time and I’m sure we can work out something around your job. I simply won’t take no for an answer.” I almost felt sorry for him at this point as I don’t think he knew what to say.
He finally spoke up and said “but what about the two women that asked me last week? I told them no and if I tell you yes they’ll be mad.”
I was ready for this, but I wanted it to see like I was thinking about it so I took another deep inhale as she stared at me. As I exhaled I stared right at her and said “oh, you mean your two ‘girlfriends’?”. If he wasn’t already on the defensive, this would have done it as his face turned as red as my lipstick. “Well , they really aren’t my concern, and frankly I don’t think they should be your concern. You’re an adult and who you chose to help or not help really is none of their business.” This was dragging out longer than I thought it would and it was nearing time for class so I needed to do something to move this along. I looked at her and said “I think we both know that you don’t need to actually sit through class, so why don’t you stay long enough to take the quiz and then when it’s time for break you can leave. You can meet me after class and we can continue this discussion. And even if we can’t come to an arrangement for you to tutor me, you could at least look over my work from this evening to see how I’m doing.”
This seemed to pique his interest, but as quickly as it did so a frown came over his face. “I can’t just up and leave, and for that matter if I don’t make it home after class my Mom will worry.”
The former I had already thought about, the latter was a surprise to me. So not only was Lawrence apparently a submissive, but he was also a bit of a ‘Momma’s Boy’ to boot. I suppose that shouldn’t have surprised me based upon his apparently fascination with the whole ‘Soccer Mom’ look, but I honestly wasn’t expecting that. Nonetheless I wasn’t going to let that alter my approach. And I had a quick solution for both of his concerns anyway. “When we go in, tell Thomas that you aren’t feeling well and you’re going to leave after the quiz. When you finish the quiz and head for break, simply leave your things on your desk and leave. That way nobody else in class will realize you’ve gone, and I’ll gather them up with my things after I finish with my quiz and you can get them from me when we meet after class. And that way I know you won’t stand me up since I’ll have your book, calculator, and notebook.” I continued on, “as far as your Mom, well we don’t want her to worry. So why don’t you head home to shower and change clothes. You can tell her that a group of us are having a study session this evening and you’re trying to ‘fit in’ with the rest of us. I won’t keep you out all that late, I promise.”
He thought about that for a few moments as I finished my cigarette and crushed it out. Finally he spoke. “Umm, well, okay. But where should I meet you?”
Even though I already knew where I wanted to meet, I paused for a few moments so that it didn’t appear that I had already worked this out. Finally I spoke, “well I haven’t had any dinner so I’m starving, there’s a Denny’s about 10 minutes from here. Do you know the one I’m talking about? Immediately she replied that she did. “Well then that settles things. I’ll head over there after class. Why don’t we say about 10:30pm. Now you should head in and speak with Thomas. I’ll join you in a minute. We don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression now do we?”
I gave him a moment to head in before I followed. When I got into class, Lawrence was up speaking with Thomas so I took a desk in the back as I had the prior week and waited for him. When he finished with Thomas, he turned around and scanned the room for me. As it was, the desk next to me was empty so I discreetly waved to him to come sit next to me. He headed back toward me, albeit a touch timidly. When he got back there I discreetly asked if everything was alright.
Without looking at me, he said “well Thomas wasn’t very happy, he seemed to think I was going to help during group time again.”
I looked over at him and said “Well he’ll get over it, it’s his job to teach this class, not yours.” He nodded an acknowledgement and with that I decided to let him percolate on things for a bit while we waited for class to start. I wanted to push him, but I was worried about pushing too hard too early on.
Thomas started the class a few minutes later, but truthfully my mind was elsewhere. Specifically on reeling in a tutor at the minimum and perhaps a potential submissive if all went well. Before I knew it, it was time for the quiz. As the rest of class was preparing I leaned over towards Lawrence and said “Remember what we talked about. Turn in your quiz and head home. I’ll see you at 10:30 at Denny’s, don’t be late.”
“Yes Janet.” It was so quiet I almost didn’t hear it.
Virtually nothing is certain in life, but I was all but certain I’d see him at Denny’s at the appointed time. Thomas proceeded to pass out the quiz, and as had been the case the prior three weeks it wasn’t looking great for me. But I was actually more interested in the desk next to me. True to form, within just a couple of minutes he was obviously done with his. But unlike prior weeks, he didn’t immediately get up to turn it in. Rather he just sat there sort of staring off into space. I decided he needed a bit of a nudge so I cleared my throat a bit more aggressively than normal. This seemed to startle him a bit and he looked over at me. I motioned towards the desk up front where Thomas was flipping through a newspaper. He appeared to take the hint. Picking up his quiz, he then reached for his other things. I again cleared my throat and shook my head no. He stood there for a moment before heading up front to turn in his quiz. Now it was a matter of me finishing my quiz up and ensuring that he had in fact went home.
I struggled the rest of the way through my own quiz. By the time I was finished there were only two of us left in the room with Thomas. I turned in my quiz and went back to my desk to grab my purse. As I got there I discreetly grabbed Lawrence’s book, calculator, and notebook and tucked them all in my satchel. I had a bit over 5 minutes of the break left, so I headed outside. Upon getting outside I was pleased to see that his car was in fact gone. It didn’t mean that he’d show up later on, but as I had his things I was fairly confident he be there. With that I headed back into the building to use the bathroom before class resumed. Suffice it to say, the rest of the evening my mind wasn’t really on class. Though I did work through part of the night’s homework so I’d have something to discuss over dinner. Suffice it to say it was the best night of class I’d had in a long time.
Chapter 3 – Reeling In A Tutor, And Maybe More
As it was destined to be, class ran a few minutes over and I knew I’d be a bit rushed getting to Denny’s to meet up with Lawrence. So when class did finally break, I hurriedly gathered my things, got to my car, and headed for Denny’s. I was probably lucky I didn’t get a speeding ticket on my way there. I wanted to be there at least a few minutes early so I could get a table near the windows so I could see him come in. I also wanted to ensure that it was in the smoking section so I could use that to my benefit and with it being a Friday evening those tables were often hard to come by. I managed to get there about 10 minutes early and I didn’t see Lawrence’s car. Either this was a good thing as I’d have time to pick out a table and such; or it was a bad thing and he wasn’t going to show. I was betting on the former.
Before I headed in, I removed Lawrence’s things from my satchel. In case things didn’t go well in the restaurant, I wanted to have one last chance outside and by leaving his things in my car I knew I’d get that chance if I needed it. Once I had done that I headed inside. It was busy as I expected, but I lucked out and was able to get a booth in the back part of the smoking section near both the windows and the bathrooms. I couldn’t have asked for a better location as I’d definitely see him walking in when (if?) he showed up. The waitress showed up fairly quickly and I ordered coffee for myself and let her know I was waiting on someone else and would prefer to order when they arrived. Once that was done I pulled out a mirror and touched up my lipstick as it was obvious that the color had an effect on him. That didn’t surprise me as bright red seems to have that effect on most males, but he seemed more susceptible to it than most. Once that was done I dug my homework from the evening out of my satchel and made a half-hearted effort to work on it while keeping an eye out for Lawrence. After all, regardless of how things went I did need to pass the class and if by chance this didn’t work out I was really going to be in a tough spot.
I had just started working on a problem when I saw him walking towards the door. Checking my watch it was 10:30 on the dot and I wondered if he had just gotten here or if he had been sitting in his car until now. He definitely had a nervous look to him which I felt bode well. If he was that nervous before he even got inside, I felt I’d have no problem convincing him to help me. I don’t think he saw me when he came in as he looked around for a few seconds until the hostess acknowledged him. He said something to her, I’m guessing it was asking about me. While they conversed I pulled out a Capri and lit it. Once I did I sat it in the ashtray. I wasn’t going to let him see me smoke right away, but I wanted him to see the lipstick coated cigarette sitting there so that the image of me smoking it would be on his mind.
As I looked back up I saw him making his way towards my booth. He walked up and very quietly said hello. I nodded back at him acting like I was in deep thought over my homework. He stood there for a good 30 seconds as I continued to stare at the problem I had been working on. I know it probably sounds like a “bitch move” to have done that, but I wanted to sort of establish my place versus his place and this seemed like a good start. I finally looked up and said “Well aren’t you going to sit down? I don’t bite.” Once again his face turned as red as my lipstick and he settled into the booth, rather ungracefully. As he did I took a good look at him as I had earlier in the evening. He had obviously showered, though whatever cologne he had chosen wasn’t right for him and was far too strong. His clothes were clean, yet wrinkled so he looked incredibly sloppy. I know that it shouldn’t matter as my primary focus was my math work, but that kind of thing is really a pet peeve of mine, so I couldn’t help but to say something. He got a bit of a hurt look on his face and sat there for a moment.
After more than a few seconds he quietly said “I knew my Mom wouldn’t buy the study group thing, so instead I told her I was going over to a friend of mine’s house to play some video games so I dressed like I would for that so she wouldn’t think anything was out of the ordinary.”
My first instinct was to apologize for being critical of him, actually part of me was impressed that he had thought things out a bit. But two things stopped me from doing that. The first being that he may very well take it as a sign of weakness from me and I felt I couldn’t chance that. The other reason was that on some level it bothered me that someone his age was still “reporting” to his Mother. I myself wasn’t a Mother and as such perhaps I shouldn’t be judging anyone else’s parenting skills. But looking at Lawrence it was obvious that he was working full-time and my best guess was that he was putting himself through college. The credit hour cost at this school was not cheap either, and yet he was apparently being treated as a child. So rather than apologize I sat there for a moment not saying anything, thankfully our waitress showed up to refill my coffee and see if Lawrence wanted anything.
He ordered a Coke and I asked the waitress to give us a couple of minutes to decide on food. As she left I picked up the half burned Capri and took a long drag, trying to put on a little show for him. As I exhaled towards him, I suggested that he look over the menu. He told me he wasn’t really hungry, but his face indicated otherwise. So I asked him point blank – “Have you eaten dinner?”
“Sort of”, he replied.
I asked him “What exactly does ‘sort of’ mean?”
He replied, “Well I had some potato chips when I got home.”
As it was, by now our waitress had returned with his soda and was ready to take our orders. Rather than continue the debate with Lawrence I simply ordered myself a chicken sandwich and French fries with a Caesar salad, and before she could turn to Lawrence I told her that he’d have a bacon cheeseburger and fries along with a Caesar salad as well. She gave me a bit of a strange look when I ordered for Lawrence, but I really didn’t care. I did look over at him to see how he was going to react to me ordering for him. The look on his face was a mix of surprise and embarrassment I suppose, but at this point I really didn’t care if he was embarrassed, if nothing else I was going to ensure he got some sort of dinner. I picked up my cigarette and took one last drag before putting it out in the ashtray. As I did that I once again noted that he was fixated on watching me smoke and I decided it was time to ask a few questions of him before we went any further.
My first question was simply, “Lawrence, how old are you?”
“20, well 19, but I turn 20 this Tuesday.”
I followed up with, “So I take it you live at home with your parents?”
“Um, sort of. My parents divorced a few months ago, so I live with my Mom and my younger sister. My father and younger brother moved out and I don’t really see them much.”
I filed that response away as one I wanted to follow up on later. I wanted to know more about the family dynamic, but I didn’t want to delve too deeply into it now. Hopefully there would be plenty of time for that on another night. So I moved on to work and school. “So I take it you work a full-time job and go to school as well?”
“Yeah, I work full-time as a shift manager at Jack In The Box, and I’m taking three classes this semester. I have the Friday night math class, and I take the other 2 classes in the evenings on Tuesday/Thursday at the main campus. Thankfully my boss is fairly young and just graduated, from here actually, although he went full-time at the main campus, so he’s very understanding about my schedule.”
Our waitress happened to return with our salads. I moved my homework out of the way so she could set my salad down. When she went to set his down, the look on his face made it seem like he had possibly never had a Caesar salad which gave me a bit of a giggle. I took a couple of bites of mine, it was decent, not great, but for a Denny’s it was more than passable. I finally looked over at him and said “You really should eat your salad, it doesn’t get better as it gets warm.” He looked less than amused at the thought, but to his credit he did start eating it. In between bites, I decided to probe a little more. “I think it’s obvious that you really don’t belong in this math class, so why are you in it?”
He finished the bite of salad he had on his fork and then gently set it down before he spoke. “Well, I had some college credits that transferred here, but I was short one math class as my Calculus transferred as math but my Statistics courses didn’t. Since my major is Information Systems, I felt they were forcing me to take a math class that I felt I didn’t need, I asked for the lowest class that would meet the requirements. I figured this would allow me to sort of blow off the actual class and just take the mid-term and the final, but Thomas wouldn’t go for that. So I have to show up and at least turn in the homework and take the quizzes, but beyond that you’re right I really don’t belong in the class.”
For someone relatively young, that actually made sense in a lot of ways. Yes, he probably should have been taking some sort of math class that would help him in his major, but as anyone who has ever had to work full time while going to college fulltime knows, it’s not easy to do both and on some level I admired how he had handled this. I had hoped our food would have been up by now as I had finished my salad and he had made a decent effort on his, but they were busy and we were still waiting. As it tends to do, my curiosity got the better of me. “Lawrence, does your Mother smoke?” The question obviously surprised him a bit as he choked on his soda.
“Yeah.”
Now I felt I had an opening to get a touch personal, so I took it. “Do you watch her smoke the way you seem to watch me?” As I expected, her face turned red enough to mistake it for a fire hydrant, but she said nothing. “Don’t be embarrassed, it’s a simple question.
She sat there for a moment, long enough that I thought I’d have to prompt her again, but she finally started to speak. “I don’t know. Not really. She doesn’t wear lipstick and she doesn’t smoke the kind of cigarettes that you or even that Tonya woman who wanted me to tutor her does. I don’t know why I watch her or you, but I just can’t help it.”
I gave a brief moment of thought to what Tonya had been smoking the prior week and I seemed to recall it was a Virginia Slim 120. So it seemed that the long white feminine cigarettes in combination with some lipstick turned Lawrence on. Before I could respond, our waitress showed up with our food and said she’d be back with another soda for him and more coffee for me. I didn’t want to continue the discussion until after she had returned and left, so I suggested we eat. For someone that supposedly wasn’t hungry he dug into his burger and fries pretty good. I on the other hand wasn’t overly hungry at this point as I was more interested in our conversation so I picked at my food. Once the Coke and coffee had been dropped off, I lowered my voice a bit and said, “Lawrence, put down your burger for a moment and look at me.” It took him a second, but he did as I asked. Once I was convinced I had his full attention I continued. “Contrary to what some might say, there’s nothing wrong with what you just told me. Nearly everyone has a thing or things that fascinate us or that arouse us in one way or the other. While what you’ve just shared with me may not exactly be ‘mainstream’ it is more common than you might think. Do you understand that?”
He started to say something but I guess his throat was dry so he took a longer than necessary drink of his Coke and after a moment he replied. “I guess, but I just feel sort of dirty staring at strangers and I don’t really understand the feelings I got while watching Tonya the other night or you tonight.”
“Lawrence, a little people watching is nothing to be ashamed of. As far as the ‘feelings’ you mention, again you are not the first, nor will you be the last person, to get those kinds of feelings from watching a woman enjoy a cigarette. Would you like to watch me have one now?”
The knot in his throat probably felt like the Rock of Gibraltar to him, but he managed to croak out a reply. “Well, umm, no it’s okay.” I started to say something, but then he continued on. “Umm, well, that’s not really true and I don’t like to lie. The truth is that yes I would like that, I’d like that a lot.”
I looked at him and said, “Well finish your dinner and I’ll consider it.” Truthfully I had intended on smoking one right then and there for him; but I wanted to avoid making things too easy and I wanted to broach the subject of him tutoring me as that was after all the main purpose behind all of this. As he went back to his burger and fries I decided now was the time to discuss one last thing before we got to his aversion to tutoring me.
“Lawrence, I do want to discuss the possibility of you tutoring me, but before we get into that I have a question for you. I’ve noticed that you’ve been quite forthcoming answering my questions about you, but yet you’ve not made any effort to ask me anything, is there a reason for that?”
“Umm, well I guess it’s just how I am. I don’t like to ask people personal questions, it’s too easy to hurt somebody’s feelings or offend them. You’ve been really nice to me tonight and I really didn’t want to make you mad by asking something that you might not want to answer. But I do actually have one thing that’s been bothering me.”
“Well Lawrence, ask away. Since you’ve answered so many personal questions for me I’ll answer whatever question you want to ask, so what is it?”
“Why have you called me Lawrence all evening and not Chuck? I told you earlier that I really don’t use that name unless I can help it.”
Well, this was a question I really didn’t want to answer. A truthful answer would make me look conniving and quite possibly ruin my chances at him tutoring me, much less any potential at making him into my submissive. It was my turn to need a drink, but it was more for me to stall for a moment and come up with something that wasn’t exactly a lie, but also wasn’t the exact truth either. When I did speak I was actually a bit surprised with the amount of conviction that I had in my words. On some level they were true, but it was hard to not be fully honest.
“Well Lawrence, I felt that using your given name was proper given that I was asking for your help as a tutor. Much in the same way that I refer to Thomas by his given name and not Tom. But if it bothers you, I’ll be more than happy to use Chuck going forward.” I had hoped the fact that Thomas had requested we all use his given name and NOT Tom would be forgotten, but just to skew the odds in my favor a bit I continued on. “With that being answered, I believe I owe you something.” And with that I took another Capri from the pack and handed him my lighter as I leaned over the table a bit so he could light it. He was a bit more graceful this time and succeed on his first attempt. I took the lighter back, leaned back, and took a nice long drag. After a few seconds I exhaled directly at him and asked, “Does that answer your question? And would you prefer Chuck to Lawrence?” I actually wasn’t sure he heard the last two questions as he was staring at me so intently, but he quickly spoke up.
“Yeah, that answers the question. And you should use whatever name you prefer, I was just wondering. Thank you for answering that.”
About then our waitress returned to check on us. Lawrence had finished his dinner, but I had only picked at mine so I requested a box. She quickly returned with it and the check. He went to grab it, but I shook my head and took it. “This is on me, you’re here doing me a favor it’s the least I can do. However, can you at least take a look at what I’ve done on my homework so far?” He nodded and continued to stare as took another long drag on the Capri and pulled my homework back out. I hadn’t gotten far, but there were a few problems for him to look at. He reluctantly took the paper from my hand and looked it over for a minute or two.
“Umm, Janet. Most of them are correct, but on this one you lost a root by dividing out a ‘x’ out of both sides. And on this one you only have the positive root, when both the positive and negative ones would satisfy the equation.”
I wanted to kick myself, both of those were simple mistakes that I shouldn’t have made, I should have paid more attention. But rather than do that I decided to turn it to my advantage. “Thank you Lawrence. These are the kinds of things that I’m just not ‘getting’ from class. I could really use your help. As I said earlier I’m more than willing to pay you for your time and we can arrange it around your work schedule, I promise it won’t be an imposition and I really need this class.” I thought about putting on the “puppy dog face”, but figured that would be over the top. So instead I took another long drag off of the Capri and waited for him to respond. As he started to, I exhaled right in his face. He coughed a couple of times and was obviously thrown a bit by that which was just what I wanted.
“Well, I guess I could maybe try and help you a bit. But I don’t want to take your money. What if I can’t help you? I’d feel guilty over that.”
I started to object to the part about not paying him for his time, I figured with what school was costing him and with him living with a single parent that he could use the money. But he really did seem adamant about that and it wasn’t worth the chance of losing his help over it, so I decided to make him a different proposition. “Okay Lawrence, I can understand that. However, I’m a bit uncomfortable imposing on you and not paying you for your time. So what if perhaps I did something for you in lieu of the money?” He gave me a bit of a strange look like he couldn’t contemplate what that would be. He was so naïve it was actually cute, though I suspected it caused him plenty of problems in his daily life. I continued on. “We’ve established that you have a ‘thing’ for watching women smoke. What if I indulged your ‘fascination’ while you tutored me? Well perhaps not while you are actually tutoring me, but before and after the session and maybe during a break in studying?” I carefully avoided the word “Fetish” as I felt it might come across as a negative thing to him and that was the last thing I wanted at this point. With that I took one last drag off of the Capri and crushed it out in the ashtray.
For perhaps the first time all night, he actually didn’t struggle with an answer. He spoke right up. “I think that’s fair, I mean as long as you are fine with that.”
Well I was more than fine with it. I was more than willing to pay for his time, but this was far better for me. Not only would it save me some money – I had figured on $10/hour – but it would allow me to further pursue the possibility of making him into my submissive. I looked at him and said, “Well then I guess it’s settled. When can you spare a few hours to work with me this week?”
He sat there thinking for a minute before he spoke. “Well, I am off this weekend for my birthday, but my Mom is taking me out to an early dinner tomorrow. So what about Sunday?”
Truth be told I would have been fine with Sunday, but I decided I wanted to be the one to set the terms so I said, “What about Saturday after you get back from dinner? I tend to be up late anyway. Can you get away from your Mother afterwards?”
He pondered that for a moment and then spoke up. “Well I probably could, she has to work Sunday morning, that’s why we’re going out early. But the library will probably be closed by then.”
“Lawrence, while the library would probably be a good quiet place to study, they are hardly going to let me smoke in there. I think this would be better done at my house. I only live about 5 minutes from here so it shouldn’t be too bad of a drive for you. Why don’t we plan on 9pm tomorrow?”
He didn’t seem overly comfortable with that suggestion, but it appeared that he also really wanted to do this. I guess his ‘fetish’ was as strong as I suspected. All he could say was, “We won’t be bothering anyone will we?”
“No Lawrence, I live alone. Let me write down my address and some directions for you and then we can clear out of here before the waitress thinks we’ve moved in.” I pulled out my notebook and quickly scribbled down my address and phone number just in case, along with some brief directions. My house wasn’t hard to find, that was one of the things I took into consideration when I bought it. I handed him the piece of paper. He looked it over and then looked up at me. “Lawrence can you hand my back my homework?” He sheepishly looked down and realized he did in fact still have it and handed it to me. I packed up my things back into my purse and satchel, grabbed my purse, my leftovers, and the check and stood up. “Can you be a dear and grab my satchel while I go up and pay this? You can meet me outside by my car, you know which one it is right?”
“The Blue Cougar, right?”
“Yes Lawrence, that’s the one. Meet me out there please.”
“Umm, Janet. I still need my things. You did bring them, right?”
“Yes Lawrence, I did. They’re in my car. That’s why I asked you to meet me there.” With that I left a few dollars on the table for a tip and headed up to the register to pay the check. I glanced over my shoulder and saw him grab my satchel and follow me towards the front. I stopped and the register and he headed outside. It took a few moments for someone to come to the register, but once they did I quickly paid the bill and headed outside. From across the lot I could see Lawrence next to my car, satchel in tow.
Once I got over there, I unlocked the doors and placed my food in the passenger seat and turned to get my satchel. He handed it to me and I placed in the floorboard and closed the door. When I turned around he was still standing there with an expectant look on his face and it dawned on me that I still had his things in the backseat. I started to grab them for him and then thought better of it. I turned around and said, “Rather than grab your things tonight, why don’t you get them when you come by to tutor me tomorrow? That way instead of you messing with homework tonight or in the morning, I’ll know you can actually enjoy a day off from both.” His face changed until he looked like he had seen a ghost. I had to stifle a giggle at the thought of him stressing over his own homework waiting an extra day or two. However, I did take some pity on him and said, “I tell you what, I’ll give you a little treat for trusting me with your things.” With that I took another Capri from my purse along with my lighter. I handed him the lighter and put the cigarette to my lips. I probably should have touched up the lipstick as I’m sure most of it was gone by now, but it was dark anyway so it probably wouldn’t have made a huge difference.
He managed to get it lit the first try this time and went to hand me the lighter back. I shook my hood and said, “No, I want you to keep that. If you want me to smoke for your benefit then the least you can do is to always have a lighter handy. I expect you to have it at each tutoring session as well as at class every Friday. If you don’t, well then I guess you lose out that night. Are we clear Lawrence?”
“Okay”.
“Lawrence, ‘Okay’ is not the kind of response I was looking for. It simply means you heard me, but yet doesn’t really answer my question. A yes or a no please.”
“Yes Janet, I understand.”
“Lawrence, do you mean you understand the need for using ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in lieu of ‘okay’, or do you mean you understand what I said about the lighter.”
“Both Janet, I meant both.”
“Much better Lawrence. You should get home before your Mother starts to worry, it’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow around 9pm.”
“I’ll be there. Oh and Janet.”
“Yes Lawrence?”
“Thank you.”
“For what Lawrence?”
“For dinner. And, well for being understanding about me and not thinking I was strange or something.”
“You are welcome Lawrence, and you’re not strange. Don’t make me tell you that again. Good night and see you tomorrow evening. With that I took one last drag of my Capri, and got into my car and pulled away. Watching him in the rearview mirror he stood there until I was pulling off of the lot and then slowly started walking towards his own car.
I actually smiled as I drove home. It appeared I had a tutor that could hopefully get me through this class. And it also appeared that I had a pretty good chance to make him into my submissive which I felt would be beneficial for both of us. I had some things to take care of for tomorrow, but I was exhausted so when I got home, the leftovers went into the fridge and I headed for bed. All in all, things went better than I expected. For that matter, better than I could have hoped. Now it was simply a matter of not screwing things up.
Topic: Becoming Becky Pt 1 by Janet House (Read 7967 times)