Taxonomy Question: Is there a word for..

[Eido]

Hello folks,

I have an idea for a story character who is a contrarian person.

Is there a word for someone who wants to enter into a D&S relationship specifically to be resistant or to tell the potentially dominant partner to "f*** off" when a certain line is reached?

This seems less playful than 'brat' and 'topping from the bottom' doesn't seem to fit either.

I'm drawing a blank, so I would appreciate any suggestions.

Thanks,
Eido

[jackierabbit1]

Are we talking about somebody that gets to a point in a scene or situation where it suddenly gets to be "not all that much fun" anymore? Or, is this somebody who sets out from the get-go to be difficult, somebody who wants to be broken and dominated, but also wants the process to be just a bit more "real" for them, and for what specific purpose? In the latter case I can see it not being all that much fun for the dominant, as well as it being difficult to tell when one crosses from fun, to something else. Then again, some people in life are just bitchy and miserable, but I try to avoid those when I can.

It's just a thought, but if you can't put a word to what you're trying to describe, maybe others can't either, and maybe somewhere in the flow of your story could be that person trying to figure out what on earth to call himself? Or, perhaps someplace in there the motivation for this specific kink could be explored; as in is the submissive looking for something specific, is he trying to pay a penance for some misdeed, and only using the dominant for his purposes?

In that case I guess it could be a form of topping from the bottom, but then you have to answer the question, "who is this good for, and why?"

I don't know if this actually helps or not, but there's my two cents on the subject, Jackie.

[teanndaorsa]

Doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would have a pre-defined label. If they weren't aware of that as their motive, I'd say perhaps 'conflicted'. We all know there's often that duality in D/s play where sometimes the very thing that gets the submissive hot is also something they're afraid of and want to push back on; that doesn't have to be a constant state of being, it can be a see-saw of emotions where at times they're into it and at other times they're resisting.

But if it's not an internal conflict for them, but a deliberate thing where they're only interested in being submissive up to a certain point, well, then their other motives come into play. If it's just about protecting / asserting their own limits, then it's a positive, healthy thing! If it's motivated by getting one over on the dominant, like they want to get a moment where it's revealed that the dominant wasn't really in charge at all, then it's a bit more of a spiteful, childish tinge to the character. If they get off on resisting, then that's 'brattishness', which can be either positive (dominant likes that they're a brat) or negative (dominant doesn't like the resistance, but submissive doesn't care).

I think that if it's the spiteful motive, and that is hidden from the dominant, it suggests it's likely to play out as a point of conflict. So either the dominant gets frustrated and rejects them (and the story becomes something more melodramatic), or they trump the submissive and thwart their attempt to assert control part-way through. That could play out as 'reluctant' (submissive re-evaluates their limits and goes with it) or non-consensual (this is no longer enjoyable for the submissive but they don't get a choice).

If it's the former (i.e. they're just defending their limits), and the dominant chooses to ignore that, then it plays out as a different sort of conflict where the relationship degenerates from consensual to not.

Other than brattishness, none of this really have labels that I know of, because it's not really within the bounds of normal "play", it is just characters and their motivations in life and personal interactions. Like, I don't think you would/should put a different play label on someone who is masochistic because it's their way of dealing with some trauma in their past; as if "trauma sub" was a normal and valid sort of play.

[Eido]

Thanks for your thoughts. Considering the vast lexicon applied to human behavior in general, and kinky behavior in particular, I was hoping there was a term I had missed. I mean, this site's story code list alone suggests there is a word for almost everything.

To answer your questions, I was thinking of two possibilities: the nicer being someone who was royally pissed to find themselves in a scene, perhaps restrained, through some series of events that they thought they had control over. Searching 'angry tied up woman' will return a number of images of a woman glaring at the camera with that "You are going to pay for this" expression. You can search 'man' instead of 'woman' if you like. I just didn't really want to see that

The other possibility is one I think you both mentioned: the person who sets out from the beginning to be a jerk and spoil a scene, a relationship, a play party, or whatever out of malice. Maybe they have a real interest in some facet of B&D or S&M, but at the moment, they are more moved by pure ugly meanness.

I remember running across the term 'energy vampire' a long time ago when I was reading about munches and scene parties. Maybe something along those lines, but taken to the extreme.

Thanks again,
Eido