Author Topic: Kim's new pet by Moonwriter  (Read 3681 times)

Offline Gromet

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Kim's new pet by Moonwriter
« on: August 18, 2018, 02:04:29 pm »
You can view the story here on the plaza:

http://grometsplaza.net/world/ponygirl/storiesek/kimsnewpet.html
F/f; latex; catsuit; captive; drug; shave; petsuit; collar; shock; toys; insert; train; reward; conditioning; petgirl; enema; enslave; oral; climax; cons/reluct; X

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks  ;)

Offline mari0

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Re: Kim's new pet by Moonwriter
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2018, 11:27:19 am »
Hi Moonwriter,

I liked the setup and the premise.
It felt like the, for lack of a better word, reveal could have been more impactful.

Maybe the problem was the fact that as the story progresses the tempo seems to increase.
The opening was fairly calm introduction into the situation our protagonist finds herself in, which I like.
But then the pace becomes more frentic and I feel that the caused the reveal, for me atleast,to sort of mentally skip over.
(think bump in the road that you are launched over rather than fall into)

Thats not to say I didn't like it, it's just a bit of constructive criticism.

I'm looking forward to reading your next story


P.s. also I am a nut for character development so that also factors in I think

Offline Moonwriter

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Re: Kim's new pet by Moonwriter
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2018, 02:53:55 pm »
Hey mariO,
Thank you for the Feedback. This was my second Story i wrote so i have Not much expirience with it. I hope you will Like the development i have in the second part of the Story at which im working at the moment.

 

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