Author Topic: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit  (Read 5369 times)

Offline Gromet

  • Retired...
  • Global Moderator
  • Bondage Master
  • *****
  • Posts: 2171
My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« on: December 23, 2015, 10:00:47 AM »
You can view the story here on the plaza:

http://grometsplaza.net/world/machine/storieslr/mypersonaltrainer.html
Solo-F; Machine/f; robot; delivery; modify; program; strip; naked; punish; hum; enslave; domme; cons; X

http://grometsplaza.net/world/machine/storieslr/mypersonaltrainer2.html
Machine/f; fpov; naked; hum; outdoors; D/s; mind-control; machine; program; petgirl; reluct; X

http://grometsplaza.net/world/machine/storieslr/mypersonaltrainer3.html
Machine/f; F+/f; hum; petplay; training; machine; voy; naked; outdoors; electro; bond; susp; whip; cuffs; mast; cons; reluct; XX

Please feel free to leave your kind comments & feedback here about this story.

Thanks  ;)
« Last Edit: May 28, 2022, 10:34:11 PM by teanndaorsa »

Offline teanndaorsa

  • Administrator
  • Bondage Master
  • *****
  • Posts: 1198
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2022, 08:46:40 PM »
And a second part up tonight, enjoy!

Offline T.H.

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 34
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2022, 06:04:39 PM »
It's so fortunate that you published a second part, it brought the story to my attention in the first place.

Both parts are obviously very well written. It follows a well known basic story of person buys AI, disables the security so it can take control and then it actually takes and enforces control.
I particulary like the simpleness that there is for the most time only one partys intentions to decipher.

The kinks (D/S, humiliation,...) are absolutely my alley and very well executed in my eyes.

I don't know how I feel about the end. It would probably take a third part (wink wink, nudge nudge) to clarify if there really are some people watching her ordeal and how this came to happen... or if it's only in Jessica's mind.

I tend to wish for our poor heroine that somebody IS watching so they can rescue her if things would go sideways.
But I also hope that if somebody is watching, they would be sensible people. I mean... life is too short for depressing smut in my opinion.

In a way I feel like my sub reading smut. I want the thrills and the tension... but I also want the comfort of assuming that everything will be good in the end.

Have a great day, Jackie!

Tom
« Last Edit: January 05, 2022, 07:36:37 PM by T.H. »

Offline jackierabbit1

  • Hogtied
  • ****
  • Posts: 341
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2022, 08:38:54 AM »
Thank you for your kind words. There is just something, for me, about a machine taking control. Heartless and cruel, it will do what it was designed to do pretty much no matter what. I almost imagine a turn of the last century factory, with exposed gears and belts spinning about with tremedous energy; if you foolishly got caught up in the inaminate machinery it wouldn't care in the least, it woudn't have the ability to care. Or maybe a car wash, while strapped naked to the roof rack of an SUV and ran through the deluxe cycle, I wrote one with that scenario too once, after driving through a new car wash in the town I live in...

Anyway, I borrowed the robots from another story I had written a few years earlier, My Butler James, and in that one I had experimented with two different endings, Dark, and not quite so dark. As far as Veronia, Ray's new wife, I think she might have a bit of envy, and residual jealousy, the magnificent mansion my alter ego lives in might make a good second home for her and Ray, if my alter ego didn't need it any longer. How Veronica got control of the robot trainer Sir, and what eventually happens in the end is the third chapter that I intend to write. I don't know if I will have Ray rescue my alter ego from her much deserved fate yet, or even if he can once things have been set in motion.

Just some thoughts in my kinky mind for the next chapter, and thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.

Offline teanndaorsa

  • Administrator
  • Bondage Master
  • *****
  • Posts: 1198
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2022, 10:35:14 PM »
A third part up tonight; accidentally posted as http://grometsplaza.net/world/machine/storieslr/my_personal_trainer1.html because I was half asleep, sorry for any confusion that caused.

Offline T.H.

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 34
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2022, 09:35:30 PM »
Sorry that I didn't respond sooner.

I urged you to write a continuation of your story and then I omitted to comment.

First and foremost, I absolutely liked this part.
Having two "levels of storytelling" can be dangerous because it can complicate things a lot.
I'm not concerned about the potential implications of this complication on the storytelling. I think that you are more then capable enough as an author to handle that. I'm more concerned about energy levels and motivation of you as an author.

From my own experience as an author I know that the more complex the story gets, the more fun it gets (at the start) but the higher the probability that I never finish it.
Whatever... I'm rooting for you that this story may get a lot more installments.

I particulary liked the two or three little breaks of the fourth wall you let your protagonist do, to let the reader know that a) she survived her ordeal and b) that she is at an at least acceptable place at the end of the story.

I loved this little touch. It means that as a reader I can enjoy her suffering, because I know... in the end everything will be good.

and...

life's still too short for depressing smut.
If you want something depressing, watch the f'n news... it doesn't matter in which country you live.

Greetings!

Tom

Offline jackierabbit1

  • Hogtied
  • ****
  • Posts: 341
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2022, 10:02:27 AM »
I have written darker stories on a whim, or when I'm feeling especially dark maybe, but my preference is more for fun stories. I wrote one with a very dark ending once, but then I also wrote an alternate not so dark ending to that one, the reader intended to select which she or he preferred. (And I way agree, I've tuned out on the news too, ostrich with her head in the sand maybe, but it helps me keep my sanity.)

I think the only difference between about to be reformed Jessica; and Veronica and her lacking in empathy friends, are a few rough experiences. The fact that they all just watched somebody they knew socially get Tasered, and then a serious beatdown while strung up, (one that they had specifically asked Sir for, demanded it really) to get themselves off speaks volumes about their character, or lack thereof.

I didn't want this one to get too long, so it's my intention to have Sir break Jessica just a bit to fully, (with Beth's and Veronica's continued behind the scenes control) so that there is almost nothing left, except maybe a trim and fit highly attractive model/maid who can only do simple chores. Or perhaps she just ends up with a very long sentence with her misbehavior, and some of the old help is rehired, and Jessica becomes just one of many in this more experienced company. Veronica may well end up with the mansion and a properly humbled and submissive Jessica maid in the end, as she lusts for this material thing because it's the one thing that Ray won't agree to give her, but the price will be steep.

If/when Ray discovers what has been done, (and maybe can't be undone) he's likely to be furious, as is Beth's husband, and as a closing scene I could see Ray introducing Veronica to the new robotic servant that he just bought for her as a surprise (Beth getting one too). As in "here honey, this way I know you won't ever get into any more mischief" kind of thing, "just look what it did for my ex-wife."

As far as Jessica having a happy ending, her happy ending might be best found in humble service to others, or in a vow of poverty, to offset the easy life she took for granted, and to atone for her terrible treatment of the hired help.

Just some crazy thoughts running around in my head, but what do you think?

Thank you again for your kind words, Jackie.

Offline T.H.

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 34
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2022, 02:23:49 PM »
I'm hardly a good reference for storytellingadvice in the last years because the older I get the more my "Dom"-senses are kicking in.

Which means, she starts "secretly" liking it, succumbing to it end reforming her life to a life of subservience and hapiness...
i'm so useless right now.

Offline jakbird

  • Loosely Tied
  • **
  • Posts: 67
  • I was so much older then; I'm younger than that no
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2022, 07:06:25 PM »
The appeal of a machine being in charge is that it is impersonal and cannot be swayed by emotion.  It will perform its assigned tasks regardless of the consequences, ignoring any attempt to appeal to non-existent empathy.  It is the perfect model of a personal trainer, relentless in its pursuit of whatever results have been programmed.  And of course, it is reliable, as we all know after a silent Windows update...
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline jackierabbit1

  • Hogtied
  • ****
  • Posts: 341
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2022, 08:41:09 AM »
You've just given me a terrific idea for a story element Jakbird; what if Sir has a standard security update and the alternate control of his functions are discovered and corrected, or even enhanced? What if Sir instead reboots with a totally different goal for prisoner number one, or maybe Sir's services are opened to other wives who need a little humility in their lives? The fouled-up windows update is a great model for all kinds of mayhem, and I thank you for it.

Thanks again, Jackie.

Offline jackierabbit1

  • Hogtied
  • ****
  • Posts: 341
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2022, 08:54:31 AM »
Thank you, T.H. Stockholm syndrome I think it's called, and this as well could go along with Jessica's total breaking, before Sir rebuilds what's left into something more useful. Useful to whom could be the real question though, as the ladies in the desert have plans for her and her fine estate, and apparent time to work their plans. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," and the ladies have all the time in the world, their boring life and Jessica's almost parallel, without the husbands and Sir. Maybe an update from the factory gives Sir some new instructions for Jessica, new authorities even?

Thank you again, it's this kind of collaboration that I think makes this kind of writing fun, Jackie.

Offline bentbliss

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
Re: My Personal Trainer by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2022, 01:30:27 PM »
Thank you for sharing these stories.

I have enjoyed how it has progressed so far and look forward to what happens with Jessica and Sir. My Butler James was also a great read so I hope this one continues to a definitive end like that one.

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk