Author Topic: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock  (Read 1496 times)

Offline teanndaorsa

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The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« on: April 01, 2024, 11:03:13 am »
You can view the story here on the plaza:

https://www.boundstories.net/storieslr/the_lunch_date.html
M/f; D/s; bond; cuffs; shackles; collar; cons; X

https://www.boundstories.net/storieslr/the_lunch_date2.html
M/f; D/s; collar; cuffs; cons; X

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks  ;)
« Last Edit: July 27, 2024, 10:13:23 pm by teanndaorsa »

Offline feline

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2024, 04:38:39 pm »
What to say...  so many thoughts, but at the same time, so many of them condense down into just a few words and overarching observations and comments...

I love this, it speaks to me, so well, touches on so many wonderful thoughts and moments.  Yet there are also so many moments when I just want to stop and ask, consider, or even argue.

OK, the start is simple, interesting, attention grabbing, but then I have to just stop and wonder...  since when did the word "pedantic" become so exotic that using it in casual conversation became something that has to be called out?  Seriously, I thought that was a quite normal and reasonable word to use in normal every day conversation!  Its hardly my fault if most people lack a decent vocabulary, even if I cannot spell many of the words I know how to use.  Still, it has to be raised!  This feels like a slight against everyone who has swallowed a dictionary and gone back for a thesaurus :)

Then the comment about it being California, and any sexual harassment complaint is guaranteed to go against the man, regardless of the facts?!  I am not in a position to argue for or against the accuracy of this comment, but it makes me both angry and sick, the blatant and stupid unfairness of the comment.  Oh, I am more than happy, more than aware that in general it is the male harassing the female, but that doesn't negate the need to actually consider the facts!  I mean, what is the point if accusation is considered fact in actually having facts in the first place?

Still, moving past this, the logic, the "trap of words" is very well woven and interesting.  The idea that he is in charge is almost laughable, while also the whole point, the entire destination, of a journey that is all about her having all of the power and control, and manoeuvring him into the position she wants, to see if he really is the man she thinks he is.

Then the conversation, opening the question of "are you sure", "do I have consent", but finding a more fitting way of doing this, letting her shown the answer through her actions and her motions.  Fascinating, and very nicely done!  I want to comment on her rushing, pushing to hard, but this is a point that the story already covers and looks at later on.

It took a little bit to follow the time jumps, since they just happen, when the earlier headings just indicated a small step, but the conversation with the sister, and the explanation of the new life, the new rules, it does beg the question of how long this took, but in a sense we don't care, since this isn't about that question, is it?  The outside perspective, the shock and almost horror at what the sister is seeing, it is a good outside point of view and counter point to the story.  Also a solid way of seeing her re-affirming that this is HER choice, her desire and need.

Also, as a romantic at heart, I have to completely applaud the "family matters, really matters" point that is made so clearly here.

Then I am, for what of a better comment, brought up short and shocked, when we get to the point that she expects, demands, and requires, he constantly enforce and keep her to the standards he has set.  Being soft, being gentle and not enforcing this will loose her...  again the terms and expectations, the "force" behind this is coming from her, not that this matters since it is clear that this is a good and solid fit for his needs, desires and wishes as well!  Still, a reminder, if ever needed, that the submissive is NOT a "weak" position or person!

The handcuffs, what this tells us about what she really wants and needs, where she wants to tell him to go further, to take her further, all of the little moments about her absolute obedience, but also the constant need for him to have set rules, to have found rules to set...

But at the same time the way he is touching her, exploring her with his fingers, it almost sounds and feels like they are so new as a couple they have never made love, that he is new to touching and exploring her body...  then again, touching when she is free to move, to object and escape, is very different to touching when the option to move, to escape has been physically and completely removed and taken from her...

The ending, it sort of stops, but at the same time, it has said so very much.  The romantic in me is deeply happy and pleased with all of this, it is wonderful and delightful.  I wonder if the author has planned more for this story, but even if not, it is a wonderful read and experience, thank you!

Offline jakbird

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2024, 04:06:09 am »
Thanks for the in-depth review.  Any commentary is rare enough; to be subject to this level of critique is a true honor!  Ummm, at least I'll assume the best and interpret it that way.

since when did the word "pedantic" become so exotic
The earliest date I can offer as an example is the day the story appeared.  It's a judgement call.  In my experience the word rarely arises in casual conversation, other than opinions expressed about my style of writing.

Then the comment about it being California
Though I assiduously try to avoid political content I can offer no justification other than "the devil made me do it."  My strongest literary influence is Robert Heinlein, who wasn't above slipping in politics when he felt like it.  Which is fine by me, his books turned me into a frothing at the mouth Libertarian.  No excuses and no apologies.  Res ipse dicit, the fact speaks for itself.

idea that he is in charge is almost laughable
"Some are born to greatness, and some have it thrust upon them."  The dominant personality has an annoying trait of taking oneself too seriously.  There is a certain Zen in going with the flow, to allow events to carry us to where we wish to be.

It took a little bit to follow the time jumps
The limits of attempting to keep the story down to a manageable length.  My preference would be the 250 page novel format, but then my audience is limited to about 2-3 readers.

submissive is NOT a "weak" position
No argument from me.  I certainly don't have the strength of character to submit.  I barely manage grudging cooperation.  In this case she has well-defined expectations that he must meet to retain her respect.  Given they are in line with his own values it all works out.

way he is touching her
Fire up that possessive streak and the world changes.  Fantasy becomes tangible reality...at his fingertips.

The ending, it sort of stops
It is ever the case with the short story, always ends with the reader left wanting more.  Now in true Hollywood fashion there should be endless sequels, each worse than the one before...

  Jack Peacock
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline feline

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2024, 03:49:47 pm »
Comments are sadly rare, especially comments that go beyond "nice story, thanks".  I do what I can, when I feel I have something worth saying :)

This was definitely intended as honour and thanks, in case there was any doubt :)  At the same time, I do take the view that the author is interested in my thoughts, perspective and feelings about the story, since what is the point if the story doesn't evoke feelings, thoughts and a reaction from the reader?  Of course no reason to assume my views and reactions will mirror the authors views on the story, but that's just part of the "fun" isn't it ;)

I do accept that pedantic isn't a commonly used word, but I do hold to the opinion that this is the fault of people's lacking vocabulary, rather than any fault with a very fine word!

The comment on California, I never felt the author was at fault here, but didn't spell that out.  I have no idea if the comment is factually accurate, but it sounds all to believable and realistic, which makes me angry and grumpy.  Then again, being angry and grumpy with the state of "human intelligence" isn't an uncommon feeling for me, especially at the moment.  In the context of the story, I felt it did a good job of setting the tone, making the situation feel very "dangerous" for both parties, since it meant both parties were opening themselves up to significant possible risk, but chose to take the risk since the situation was worth it.  So for me, it worked well, even as it made me angry at the way the world is.

I enjoyed the realistic acceptance that the dominant being in charge is "largely" a fantasy.  We can get into word games about where the power switches hands, but I have never been comfortable with, or keen on, those who take the view that all of the power lays with the dominant, and the submissive is a doormat.  Partly due to the dangers implicit in this, but also the road it can lead you down...

250 pages sounds like a good target length to my mind, a bit short to be honest, but you do have to have enough material to make it work.  I do get fed up with writing that is all padding and no content.

I have actually been poking around a bit to see what else you have posted here, so if you are interested in my personal viewpoint on anything you can ask, and I will let you know what I think.  No guarantee I will warm to any given story, but I can at least try to explain my reaction and some of the reasons for it :)

Offline jakbird

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2024, 05:22:52 pm »
If you like the full length novel format, I can point you to my Island trilogy, standalone books but which do share a common backdrop and some characters.

If you are poking around my back catalog I hasten to point out I do like to experiment outside my preferred subject.  There's a trash story, a tribute to old comic books in The Illustrator, and a mystery of sorts in Attention To Detail. 

One of my favorite characters, Psycho Sally (the name says it all), you'll find in the Stoxbox series of short stories, starting with the second one.  She also appears in the Reversal of Fortune femdom series, but I'd recommend starting with StoxBox to see how the character evolves.
  Jack Peacock
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline teanndaorsa

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2024, 10:13:39 pm »
And tonight we return to this tale, for dinner!

Offline feline

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2024, 04:16:25 pm »
First, a commend for our hard working teanndaorsa, there is a broken link at the end of part 1.  Part 1 is here:

https://www.boundstories.net/storieslr/the_lunch_date.html

and the link to part 2 at the bottom points to the page:

https://www.boundstories.net/storieslr/story2.html

which just throws an error.  The correct link for page 2 is:

https://www.boundstories.net/storieslr/the_lunch_date2.html

Now onto the story.  Before reading part 2, I decided to re-read, and enjoy all over again part 1, also to remind myself of where we had gotten, and how we got there.

The interaction between the two characters keeps on making me smile, there is such a constant theme, and comments on, the fact that all of the "pushing", the extra rules, requirements and needs are coming from Tina, not from Leo.  Yet for all of this, and there is clearly quite a bit of it, Tina is always so completely dedicated to following any and every rule and instruction, no pushing back, not when the rules are clear.

Watching the preparations for going out is fun, and I can feel so much sympathy for Leo, being pulled from the practical first world of clothes, and pushed into the "form" over "function" outfit, even if he does look good for it :)  Yet he handles this well, copes well, and keeps on moving forward with their relationship.

Wanting her handbag locked away when travelling is an interesting "insight", although I do think that "cryptic clue" is a better term, for this clue about Tina and what she wants long term here.  She never seems short of her own views and opinions, even if they do mostly fall into the pattern of "need more restrictions and rules".

The waitress is quite accommodating, and this can hardly be the first couple she has seen who have this type of dynamic.  I do really like the pendant on the collar though, that is such a simple but effective way of changing how it looks and feels to outsiders, without doing anything to change the physical reality of what it is.

Then the meeting with the concerned and protective sister.  I really cannot fault her sister for being concerned and worried, but oh my, that is hilarious the way the abusive relationship description gets turned around, pointing out that the way Leo is being treated makes him the abused partner!  So funny, yet also so accurate and fitting.  The sister just blowing up more seems about what I would expect under the circumstances, yet at the same time, she really doesn't seem to be making much effort to listen to, or find out about what Tina really wants, and what makes Tina happy.

The follow up phone call at first helps, showing that the sister is slowly realising she needs to learn more before leaping to form judgements, but the ending, asking if there is a brother...  that really surprised me!  There was a hint that things would go that way, but it still surprised me, especially when the sister seems so angry and upset.

See, Leo is the perfect gentleman, even considering letting Tina wear clothes for when her sister visits! ROFL

Then though, more details of the power transfer, more responsibility and work that has been pushed onto Leo's shoulders.  It's not a massive burden to take care of all of the money, but it is still a significant undertaking, and talk about a MASSIVE amount of trust!  Clearly he is proving worthy of it, and again, its not as if he asked for it.  And again, the underlying logic behind Tina's actions makes sense, if you can wrap your head around her logic and thinking here.

Finally chained up and kneeling, they are both still clearly growing into this relationship together, and growing together, adapting to the needs and requirements here.

One thing that I am noticing, but am not sure how I feel about, is the total lack of any hint of "sexual" content in the story.  It's certainly not required, or missing, but its a little odd.  There is an expectation that they are lovers by now, and most stories or authors would probably pay a lot of attention to this aspect of things.  So not seeing it mentioned feels almost like a deliberate omission, rather than something that hasn't naturally come up yet, especially in light of the simple and small outfit she is wearing at the end, and often wears at home.  Certainly not a criticism, it just feels like an oddity.

Offline jakbird

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2024, 05:58:01 pm »
Aside from the broken links, I'd also point out all my stories are placed in public domain by author.  I get the impression I'm alone in this, so forgetting is understandable.  If a story earns a smile that's all the remuneration I seek.

That was quite the review, almost as long as the story!  I do appreciate the comments, be they (rarely) good, (usually) bad or (apathetically) indifferent.

Yes, the purse in the trunk was a deliberate anecdote to illustrate yet one more way Tina is pushing Leo toward where he wants to go anyway.  BTW this was based on real life, so it isn't far-fetched.

The sister, well, gotta have some conflict to make a story interesting.  Twisting irrational logic around works in stories but I wouldn't recommend it in real life.  More than once my wife chewed me out for doing just that.

Handling the finances is also taken from real life.  One time, when I had to travel to Asia for an extended consulting project, I had to show my wife how to pay some of the bills online.  She was quite upset about it, reminding me in colorful terms it was my responsibility.  I tried a few more times to encourage her to at least know the procedure, and she did reluctantly go along, but the push back was quite pointed as well.  Her interest in our financial assets extended to "can I buy this" and that was it.  The only time I said no was keeping a pony in the back yard.

total lack of any hint of "sexual" content in the story

You'll find this is a common occurrence in my stories, and a deliberate choice.  Why?  Look at the volume of stories posted on this website.  There is an overabundance of sexual content for the reader.  When I started writing this type of story, I thought it might be nice to have the occasional break from the explicit content.  I'm a fan of old time (30s to 50s) radio shows where imagination, the mind's eye, was an integral part of the story.  So yes, there is a gap, but it's one the reader is invited to fill in.

Once again, thanks for taking the considerable time to post a review.
  Jack Peacock

Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline teanndaorsa

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Re: The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2024, 11:49:54 pm »
My mistake, both the bad copyright and broken link have been fixed now. Normally I use a different template so I don't forget but these stories used the regular one by accident.

 

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