The Lunch Date by Jack Peacock

[teanndaorsa]

You can view the story here on the plaza:

https://www.boundstories.net/storieslr/the_lunch_date.html
M/f; D/s; bond; cuffs; shackles; collar; cons; X

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks 

[feline]

What to say...  so many thoughts, but at the same time, so many of them condense down into just a few words and overarching observations and comments...

I love this, it speaks to me, so well, touches on so many wonderful thoughts and moments.  Yet there are also so many moments when I just want to stop and ask, consider, or even argue.

OK, the start is simple, interesting, attention grabbing, but then I have to just stop and wonder...  since when did the word "pedantic" become so exotic that using it in casual conversation became something that has to be called out?  Seriously, I thought that was a quite normal and reasonable word to use in normal every day conversation!  Its hardly my fault if most people lack a decent vocabulary, even if I cannot spell many of the words I know how to use.  Still, it has to be raised!  This feels like a slight against everyone who has swallowed a dictionary and gone back for a thesaurus

Then the comment about it being California, and any sexual harassment complaint is guaranteed to go against the man, regardless of the facts?!  I am not in a position to argue for or against the accuracy of this comment, but it makes me both angry and sick, the blatant and stupid unfairness of the comment.  Oh, I am more than happy, more than aware that in general it is the male harassing the female, but that doesn't negate the need to actually consider the facts!  I mean, what is the point if accusation is considered fact in actually having facts in the first place?

Still, moving past this, the logic, the "trap of words" is very well woven and interesting.  The idea that he is in charge is almost laughable, while also the whole point, the entire destination, of a journey that is all about her having all of the power and control, and manoeuvring him into the position she wants, to see if he really is the man she thinks he is.

Then the conversation, opening the question of "are you sure", "do I have consent", but finding a more fitting way of doing this, letting her shown the answer through her actions and her motions.  Fascinating, and very nicely done!  I want to comment on her rushing, pushing to hard, but this is a point that the story already covers and looks at later on.

It took a little bit to follow the time jumps, since they just happen, when the earlier headings just indicated a small step, but the conversation with the sister, and the explanation of the new life, the new rules, it does beg the question of how long this took, but in a sense we don't care, since this isn't about that question, is it?  The outside perspective, the shock and almost horror at what the sister is seeing, it is a good outside point of view and counter point to the story.  Also a solid way of seeing her re-affirming that this is HER choice, her desire and need.

Also, as a romantic at heart, I have to completely applaud the "family matters, really matters" point that is made so clearly here.

Then I am, for what of a better comment, brought up short and shocked, when we get to the point that she expects, demands, and requires, he constantly enforce and keep her to the standards he has set.  Being soft, being gentle and not enforcing this will loose her...  again the terms and expectations, the "force" behind this is coming from her, not that this matters since it is clear that this is a good and solid fit for his needs, desires and wishes as well!  Still, a reminder, if ever needed, that the submissive is NOT a "weak" position or person!

The handcuffs, what this tells us about what she really wants and needs, where she wants to tell him to go further, to take her further, all of the little moments about her absolute obedience, but also the constant need for him to have set rules, to have found rules to set...

But at the same time the way he is touching her, exploring her with his fingers, it almost sounds and feels like they are so new as a couple they have never made love, that he is new to touching and exploring her body...  then again, touching when she is free to move, to object and escape, is very different to touching when the option to move, to escape has been physically and completely removed and taken from her...

The ending, it sort of stops, but at the same time, it has said so very much.  The romantic in me is deeply happy and pleased with all of this, it is wonderful and delightful.  I wonder if the author has planned more for this story, but even if not, it is a wonderful read and experience, thank you!

[jakbird]

Thanks for the in-depth review.  Any commentary is rare enough; to be subject to this level of critique is a true honor!  Ummm, at least I'll assume the best and interpret it that way.

since when did the word "pedantic" become so exotic
The earliest date I can offer as an example is the day the story appeared.  It's a judgement call.  In my experience the word rarely arises in casual conversation, other than opinions expressed about my style of writing.

Then the comment about it being California
Though I assiduously try to avoid political content I can offer no justification other than "the devil made me do it."  My strongest literary influence is Robert Heinlein, who wasn't above slipping in politics when he felt like it.  Which is fine by me, his books turned me into a frothing at the mouth Libertarian.  No excuses and no apologies.  Res ipse dicit, the fact speaks for itself.

idea that he is in charge is almost laughable
"Some are born to greatness, and some have it thrust upon them."  The dominant personality has an annoying trait of taking oneself too seriously.  There is a certain Zen in going with the flow, to allow events to carry us to where we wish to be.

It took a little bit to follow the time jumps
The limits of attempting to keep the story down to a manageable length.  My preference would be the 250 page novel format, but then my audience is limited to about 2-3 readers.

submissive is NOT a "weak" position
No argument from me.  I certainly don't have the strength of character to submit.  I barely manage grudging cooperation.  In this case she has well-defined expectations that he must meet to retain her respect.  Given they are in line with his own values it all works out.

way he is touching her
Fire up that possessive streak and the world changes.  Fantasy becomes tangible reality...at his fingertips.

The ending, it sort of stops
It is ever the case with the short story, always ends with the reader left wanting more.  Now in true Hollywood fashion there should be endless sequels, each worse than the one before...

  Jack Peacock

[feline]

Comments are sadly rare, especially comments that go beyond "nice story, thanks".  I do what I can, when I feel I have something worth saying

This was definitely intended as honour and thanks, in case there was any doubt   At the same time, I do take the view that the author is interested in my thoughts, perspective and feelings about the story, since what is the point if the story doesn't evoke feelings, thoughts and a reaction from the reader?  Of course no reason to assume my views and reactions will mirror the authors views on the story, but that's just part of the "fun" isn't it

I do accept that pedantic isn't a commonly used word, but I do hold to the opinion that this is the fault of people's lacking vocabulary, rather than any fault with a very fine word!

The comment on California, I never felt the author was at fault here, but didn't spell that out.  I have no idea if the comment is factually accurate, but it sounds all to believable and realistic, which makes me angry and grumpy.  Then again, being angry and grumpy with the state of "human intelligence" isn't an uncommon feeling for me, especially at the moment.  In the context of the story, I felt it did a good job of setting the tone, making the situation feel very "dangerous" for both parties, since it meant both parties were opening themselves up to significant possible risk, but chose to take the risk since the situation was worth it.  So for me, it worked well, even as it made me angry at the way the world is.

I enjoyed the realistic acceptance that the dominant being in charge is "largely" a fantasy.  We can get into word games about where the power switches hands, but I have never been comfortable with, or keen on, those who take the view that all of the power lays with the dominant, and the submissive is a doormat.  Partly due to the dangers implicit in this, but also the road it can lead you down...

250 pages sounds like a good target length to my mind, a bit short to be honest, but you do have to have enough material to make it work.  I do get fed up with writing that is all padding and no content.

I have actually been poking around a bit to see what else you have posted here, so if you are interested in my personal viewpoint on anything you can ask, and I will let you know what I think.  No guarantee I will warm to any given story, but I can at least try to explain my reaction and some of the reasons for it

[jakbird]

If you like the full length novel format, I can point you to my Island trilogy, standalone books but which do share a common backdrop and some characters.

If you are poking around my back catalog I hasten to point out I do like to experiment outside my preferred subject.  There's a trash story, a tribute to old comic books in The Illustrator, and a mystery of sorts in Attention To Detail. 

One of my favorite characters, Psycho Sally (the name says it all), you'll find in the Stoxbox series of short stories, starting with the second one.  She also appears in the Reversal of Fortune femdom series, but I'd recommend starting with StoxBox to see how the character evolves.
  Jack Peacock