Story help: Why a female character likes to (or is ok with) being whipped.

[Zephyr]

I have a story I am writing and one character is a married mid-30s female who is kinky and adventurous. Her exact kink is that she loves to be sexually at risk. Her also mid-30s husband fully participates and supports her sexually.

I need her to like being whipped and I can't figure out her motivation. She's not overly submissive but is normally the one tied up when she and her husband play that way. She's not into the pain, but accepts it as part of what happens when she is played with and whipped, even to the point where she can be sore or hurting afterward but not intentionally drawing of blood.

Why is she ok with this? Nothing is better to her than a good healthy screw and attached orgasm. She doesn't go after getting whipped except if a whim hits her, but is at least open to the possibility if wanted by others. What about her and.or her past makes her willing to do this? I could possibly alter some of the parameters  I've laid out here, although parts of stories that establish these things have already been posted.

Thoughts on her motivations? All comments gratefully received!

Z

[jakbird]

Think of the masochistic tendencies as a means to an end rather than the ultimate goal.  There can be several motives at work: the need to please, as in the masochist sees enduring pain as necessary to the enjoyment of the sadist; or on a deeper psychological level there is a drive to be punished for some secret sin related to having sex.

Then there's the more general motive of the submissive personality in some women.  Conventional wisdom says it doesn't exist, yet there are women who seek out a leader, the dominant who dictates without concern for political correctness, and in answer to your question requires the firm hand of strict discipline, representing a kind of reassurance she is not taken for granted.

Naturally this represents my personal bias, so take the disturbed manifesto of a certifiable sociopath for what it's worth.

[Zephyr]

Thank you, Jakbird! Good thoughts!

[jackierabbit1]

It's both interesting and timely that you should ask this question at this particular point in time, as I have the third chapter of My Personal Trainer written and awaiting edit for publication, expecting it will be done soon. Anyway, my alter ego main character in that one kind of asks the same general question of herself (why am I getting off on this?) although that's maybe implied rather than clearly stated. She then uses her kink to ride through the pain, turning something bad into something good.

In this case it's maybe guilt at having lived such an easy and self-centered lacking empathy life, the character in question getting strung up and whipped with her own belt, for the raw amusement and retribution of others, hundreds of miles away. Those other watching people are manipulating things to their advantage with no apparent risk, and they pretty much suffer from the same general affliction as the main character, but they just don't know it.

Anyway, they're my fictional characters and I can give them whatever traits I'd like.

In the real world if the mood is right, and it's done playfully, a little slap on the bottom is like additional foreplay for me. It's also something that could crash the mood cold if my planets aren't in perfect alignment, so as far as a risk vs reward kind of thing; it doesn't happen all that often. Straight up inflicting pain on somebody doesn't do a thing for me personally, and having it done to me likely wouldn't do all that much either. Now, with that being said, there are some that claim that the pain and pleasure centers are near each other in the human brain, and some signal cross contamination can occur under the right high energy circumstances. I don't know if I've personally experienced this or not, (riding that wave of pain filled euphoria) but next day rope burns, bruises and scratches that didn't hurt at all while actually getting them does happen, at least for me. I suppose drugs could do this too, but I don't play with those.

Now from a straight up, never want to experience it for a second in the real-world kind of thing; spread eagle strung up stripped and whipped, up on a platform where a thousand medieval spectators are cheering on your hooded torturer, all while he lashes your helpless naked body time and again with his big nasty whip, all as you wail out in anguished pitiful gasping breaths until you black out... That is the thing of dark erotic fantasy for me.

And to then be revived by several buckets of cold river water being thrown on you, so the hooded, winded, sweating in the hot sun fiend can pick up right where he left off, ensuring that the simple peasants who turned out to see "justice" applied got the full show they expected; simply fantasy nirvana to me, but I digress...

Not that it's a direct answer to your question, but atonement for past sins comes to mind. Another idea that might or might not work for you could be your character asking herself this very question, as in; "why am I drawn towards this, why do I let rough men do what they will with me?" You could write a whole story around her trying to work that out in her head. Is her present husband soft, caring, and loving, and does the hunger for rough things suggest her desire to try something new for herself as a contrast to what is safe and "normal?" I've often thought about this myself, if my husband was an offish brute, I'd likely dream of knights in shining armor, but since he's not, I fantasize about selfish brutes taking physically what they want.

Had your character fantasized about such things since coming of age, perhaps getting her first taste of such concepts at that early informative age, maybe with a borrowed sultry romance novel; these things rewiring her brain to desire this over more traditional romantic things? I've often wondered why certain things excite certain people; something built in, or something conditionally learned someplace?

It's a great question that's made me think a bit, always a good thing, Jackie.

[Betthi]

Jackie, you wrote my thoughts!

I just want to add that being whipped is an element of something in life which she can keep as a secret. If you have a naughty secret, then you start to feel confident. You get the feeling that you have a busy life

[jackierabbit1]

I am so curious to know your thoughts on this Betthi, I think the subject of motivation for the things we like to do, and even the things we refuse to do is one that makes me think.

Thank you also for your reply, Jackie.