Island by Jack Peacock

[teanndaorsa]

You can view the story here on the plaza:

https://www.boundstories.net/storiesek/island_new_arrivals.html
M+/f+; slave; training; collar; cuffs; bond; chain; prison; strip; sex; naked; cons; XX

https://www.boundstories.net/storiesek/island2_north_island.html
M/f+; M+/f+; bond; slave; training; collar; prison; cuffs; cell; punish; chastity; sex; strip; cons; XX

https://www.boundstories.net/storiesek/island3_double_standards.html
M/f; D/s; slave; training; collar; bond; straps; bedtie; cuffs; gag; hood; chastity; chain; basement; punish; straitjacket; kidnap; cons; XX

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks 

[teanndaorsa]

Even an island full of malcontents has its dissident faction.  In a world where the extreme becomes the norm, those on the fringe must find their own space to live apart.  Coming to Gromets Plaza is another look at Isla Del Sur, the island paradise, or dystopic nightmare, where society turns back the calendar to simpler, some may say more brutal times.  Watch for Island II: North Island, the latest installment about life on the island.

:-)

[Budman0_0]

True confession time.
I started reading the first Island story when it was posted and gave up after a few screens - "too slow and not enough action" I thought.
Thank goodness I started reading the second installment of the series without realizing it was a part of the story I had given up on earlier.
This time I was stuck in a waiting room and just kept reading.  I soon became 'attached' to the characters and the plot and read it to the end.
Then I went back to the beginning of the first installment and kept reading because I wanted to continuity.
I was hooked on Jack's writing and so glad I kept reading.  Now I've binge read the entire library.

My only suggestion on these stories (based entirely on personal preference and not intended at all as a criticism)

1) Consider a "hook" early in the story.  I recently finished a story called "Ten".  I'll publish it sometime next year when the Plaza's cue catches up.  But this story has a long situational and character setup.  But I start the story with the main character chained naked to the back bumper of his Jeep by his wife.  Then, in basically flashback format, I have him tell the tale of how he came to be there.

2) More sex.  I love your stories but it suspends my disbelief when your characters aren't jumping each others bones at regular intervals.  Some of your stories (written earlier? later?) have more sex and more stringent bondage but these stories are PG rated.
I surprised myself when I wrote my first really detailed, X rated descriptions of consensual bondage sex.  I had no idea how it would come out as I hate most such writing and dialogue.  But I was rather pleased that I was able to keep it believable, entertaining and erotic without becoming B movie dialogue.

[jakbird]

Consider a "hook" early in the story.

Were I a TV screenwriter, then of course one has to prevent changing channels in the first ten minutes.  The written word allows for a bit more leeway.  Yes, no question my stories require patience, and if that's too much then change channels and start on someone else's 5 minute potboiler.  I opt for a solid foundation built at the start.

More sex.
"Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health." ~ Julia Child

There's no lack of hot sex scenes in the stories posted here.  A little dash of cayenne pepper adds zest; three cups adds up to inedible.  I choose to present an alternative, to let the reader's imagination help the story along by filling in what I deliberately leave out.  My role model for fiction writing is the style of the old time radio dramas from the 30's and 40's.  Much is implied, very little is explicit.

That's also why I never describe a character's physical appearance.  That's also the responsibility of the reader.  If a portrayal resonates, well then the reader can insert herself by replacing "she" with "me".  A PG rating?  I'll settle for that any day.  Turn on the TV for R rated.

As always I appreciate anyone who takes the time to post a comment on my stories.  If nothing else I now know someone actually reads what I create.
  Jack Peacock

[Budman0_0]

There are ways you and I have different writing styles and Kinks, obviously.  But your comment about not describing characters is exactly what I wrote in one of my intro's.  I won't describe a character unless it's pertinent to the story.  For example one of my main characters is obviously a bit overweight but not obese or unatractive.  Another has very large nipples because part of the bondage requires it.

Yes, I know the wonder of "is anyone reading this?"  That's why sometimes I consider posting at Literotica.  Their platform is much more robust and up-to-date and counts reads, time spent reading, gathers simple ratings as well a comments.  But I started reading on Grommets site years and years ago - he was my first - and so I stay loyal.

[teanndaorsa]

And tonight we have a third epic instalment in the Island series - set some time aside for this one, it's quite a read!

[T.H.]

For the third time I tried to get into the Island, after an attempt at launch of part one and now another one when part two came out...
It seems that I just don't get the connection going.

My problem this time is that I can get a connection with Elise, she is a strong and deeply attractive character and then I find myself skipping the non-Elise things till I get to the next part I'm interested in. Because I understand that's not how it's suppose to work I abandoned the story for the third time.
I think bonding with three sets of characters in what feels like one ginormous introduction to something epic is a bit much... at least for me at this moment in time.

I wouldn't neccessarily change the pacing, but I would split it into three different pieces so that the reader can bond with all sets of characters and give them the attention they (probably) deserve.

Thank you for taking my wellmeant feedback into consideration.

[jakbird]

Thanks for the comment.  Your criticism is valid in that a short story format should focus on a single character, or interaction between two characters.  For a novel I aimed for a change of plan, first defining the players and then exploring how their lives intertwine against the backdrop of a d/s themed society.  Think of the ensemble cast type of TV drama, where stories don't rely solely on one individual.

Does the story jump around?  Yes, intentionally so. It's a mechanism to provide a sense of converging timelines as the interactions come into play.  Did it work?  Obviously not for every reader.  I readily confess I write purely for the pleasure in putting imagination to the written word.  I have the luxury of no commercial pressure, no need to build an audience. Those who don't care for the way the story unfolds can walk away.  After all, it is entertainment, and if it doesn't catch one's interest it becomes boring instead.

I realize my storytelling style doesn't appeal to the majority of readers on Grometplaza.  There are plenty of short stories by skilled authors that fit into the type of format described in the review.  My hope is to offer something a little bit different for a change of pace.
  Jack Peacock