Author Topic: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit  (Read 390 times)

Offline teanndaorsa

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Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« on: August 14, 2022, 09:34:03 pm »
You can view the story here on the plaza:

http://grometsplaza.net/eroticstories/storiesad/dystopia.html
F/m; fem; objectify; scifi; gag; bond; chairtie; chastity; bodymod; cons; XX

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks  ;)

Offline jakbird

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2022, 03:55:36 am »
Setting the stage for Things To Come, or so we all hope.  It starts out with an interesting premise: what to do when torn between love and loyalty on one hand, and the difficult choices forced by brutal reality.  What will be the third alternative? 

The line of responsibility is clearly drawn; there is no opening for debate or consensus.  It's one of those tough choices a dominant has to face all alone.  Seems to me there might be a few allegories to real world situations creeping in?
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline jackierabbit1

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2022, 10:54:43 am »
Thank you. I actually had a few things in mind when I wrote this, but I will confess to feeling slightly dark while doing so. I don't know if I shouldn't leave this one as it is, or tell the rest of the story. I think it might almost be better to leave it, letting the reader to ponder what happens next. It's often said that you can tell the true measure of a person's character not by how they treat people who they have to be nice to, but specifically by how they treat the people they don't have to be nice to; waiters, waitresses, maids, and the kid bagging your groceries comes to mind. Leadership is one thing; abject cruelty is obviously another.

I kind of had this in mind with the nice doctor character, she maybe hinted at what she really was in the very beginning, but confirmed it for us by the end. She's a pretty package though, but sometimes pretty wrapping paper hides a not so nice "gift."

Thank you again for your comments, they mean more to me that I can express, Jackie.

Offline feline

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2022, 06:06:23 pm »
I just cannot call this sexy or erotic personally, but I do LOVE the world building here!  The "little" details about how society has changed with time, the war crime that drove this, the revenge that followed, the why and the what are all there, stepped through carefully and fully, hinted at and explained...

I do really enjoy the study of what is "socially expected" compared to what might be considered "right" by this one woman, and the doctor makes a very interesting comparison case for what is "right" and how the three's should be treated.  It is hard to accept or feel that the doctor's approach is "right", but given this is something she deals with daily, in a professional capacity, and also, obviously, has seen the occasional fake case, trying to get the payments for free, you can easily see how she came to this world view.

The "racism" is so embedded into the system, but here there is a very real biological, and keeping the species alive, aspect that drives all of this...  so its actually very different from judging someone based on skin colour.  I do wonder if the expected reduction in mental ability is real or a social construct, but given the effects of the biological weapon here, they are more than likely both real and deliberate.  Nasty!

A very good and thought provoking read, and I am tempted to say stop here, since you have given us plenty of food for thought, pointed out the likely direction of travel of both society and the wife, and how she is trying to follow a more loving and supportive road than some, even many.  Then again, it depends what you have in mind for the future, but this seems complete as is.

Offline jackierabbit1

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2022, 09:31:39 am »
I agree with your sexy and erotic observations here to be honest. I had intended to write this specifically for the chastity section on the forum, but in building the characters and telling the backstory I maybe drifted off course a little. Then again there are several real-world parallels here related to how we treat others, those that are different and all that. This society that I've fabricated is pragmatic though (and therefore run by the women) they're mostly farmers and ranchers, and if it doesn't make babies or have them, (bear fruit) it's of a "lesser" use, especially when trying to rebuild a war-ravaged population.

 What to do with the inconvenient third gender, even if it's not his fault? Sometimes society isn't all that kind to those that are different from the bulk of the "heard" after all.

The doctor is a little cold and pragmatic as well, but also self-serving too, she has a vacation bonus she's trying to earn. She maybe even has a little side-hustle going on; repurposing an especially fem looking number three for a different kind of service. She'd be in a perfect position to grab the best of the best for such, even before it went on the open market.

Having the government involved in the chastity program I thought was a new twist, there is no key to the device, so no good options for removal either. I then wondered if a device like that would have the same mental effect on a man with working guy parts, as opposed to non-working ones. I kind of assumed that the two would have to be very different, maybe drive the man mad if he were "faking" his disability. Maybe after a full year in such a device, it adjusted ever smaller each month, (and shocked there for every little infraction of the rules) his disability would become very real, even if it didn't start out that way. What would a co-conspirator wife do for an entire year, would she take the opportunity to trade up, man wise? Would the chastity caged man in that case be able to speak up without going to prison, or would he have to endure his fate, perhaps even the eventual fate that I hinted at, this last and permanent step to ensure nobody was getting one over on the government?

If I were to write a part two, I could imagine the interaction between the former husband, (now little more than property) and Tommy, his likely replacement. Would Tommy take the high road, or would he seek a little payback for the rude way the husband had once treated him? Would Tommy have control of the shock device too, or even devise some humbling situations for the brand-new number three, to make sure he got the message that he was at the very bottom of the food chain now? What's that old saying; "be nice to the people you pass on the way up, because you might pass them again on your way back down."

I very much appreciate your thoughts here, they help me to write better, Jackie.

 

Offline jakbird

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2022, 08:32:43 am »
After being struck by one of those lightning bolts of inspiration, sitting here in the middle of the night, it occurred to me there is a real-world equivalent to your Dystopia society.  Not an exact parallel, but one that has all the same, essential ingredients.

Think of a queen bee, male drones to sexually service her, and "underdeveloped female" worker bees.  It works quite well for bees.  A fertile female, a handful of fertile males, and a vast swarm of "feminized" workers slavishly dedicated to fulfilling the queen's every command.  Any chance it was an influence for your story?  Inquiring minds need to know!
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline jackierabbit1

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2022, 10:13:18 am »
I wish I could say that I had a bee society in mind when writing this, but I honestly didn't. It's a great observation though, one queen and everybody, every bee, serving her and their common purpose. Story-wise I wonder at the emotional turmoil of the new number three, morphing into something different, lesser even from a certain point of view, all as a new and hopefully fully functional man comes into the picture. He'll still be living in the same house, but with a new room to occupy, and a new job to perform too, (humbling simple servitude like the female bees) all as the kid who used to cut their lawn and ogle his wife moves in and takes his place, to perhaps do something he couldn't.

Not that husbands and pet dogs are exactly the same, but once a male dog is "fixed" they're supposed to be easier to control. I've never had a male dog for a pet, but I wonder if it would work like that for humans too; that once they're "fixed" and that option isn't available to them any longer, they likely to get more docile and easier to train, without quite so many distractions. In oversimplified terms, if guys identify with their careers and their guy parts, remove both and they would have to form a new identity, like a number three maybe.

Anyway, the bee idea is a great one, maybe something for either one of us to weave into an erotic story sometime, Jackie.



 

Offline feline

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2022, 11:50:49 am »
The bee's is a very interesting parallel :)

For a second part, if you were considering one, the question is partly "nature vs nurture", in a slightly different guise.  All three people here have grown up and spent their entire lives in a society where the 3rd gender has always existed, and they have their thoughts and expectations about this gender well settled into them by now.  So even if someone is trying to game the system, once they are forced into the roll of the 3rd gender, with all of the physical consequences, they are going to be "pushed" to some degree to conform to the expectations of this gender.

You can certainly see a couple trying to play the system trying to keep the "husband" out of sight, tucked away at home where the pressures and rules of society can be lessoned and avoided, but for how long will the wife want to put the rest of her life on hold, to look after their "husband", especially since they are going to be effected by the very real physical effects here?

Bringing Tommy into the situation actually heads this idea off before you really get to far into it, since unless Tommy is also in on the scam, and there is no suggestion here that this is a scam in this situation, then you cannot avoid Tommy bringing the ideas of society to bare in the household.

You then have the question of how liberal and understanding Tommy is inclined to be, how accepting of the ex-husband, even as he is being brought into the family, and promoted to top dog.  I just don't see Tommy being so understanding and supportive, since he doesn't have the happy years as part of a couple to counter balance the memories and times when he was looked down on and treated badly for no other reason than he was lower in the hierarchy.  Plus is does seem to be very human to make yourself "more" by making someone else "less", since that is so much easier than actually working to improve yourself instead.

Plenty to think about here if you did decide to explore this more, since I definitely see Tommy and the wife pulling in different directions with regards to how their maid is treated.  Plus the wife is out of step with general society's expectations, not that she is automatically wrong, but it does mean she won't get much, if any, support from friends and family for lenient treatment of her new "maid".  Plus the pressure on her to make things work with Tommy and get to work producing babies...

Offline jackierabbit1

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2022, 09:56:16 am »
In this society I kind of see myself as the proverbial queen bee, so Tommy might not quite be the top dog, but second in this new potential three element family unit. He might think he is something greater depending on how I court him, (FLR society) right up until he also makes his legally binding vows to me on the alter. I'll treat him well too, especially if he provides for me in a way that the first "infected" husband couldn't. The new number three maid will still be at the very bottom of the pile, so while he/she/it will be treated and dressed differently, family structure wise "he" really hasn't moved all that much, I'm still on the very top.

I could see Tommy treating the three as a serf, a lesser being for a while, as you pointed out this society kind of expects that. Tommy ate a little crow by getting jacked around by my story husband for a bit there as a teen, and depending on Tommy's character and social maturity he might want to settle that up a bit. He's also lusted for my alter ego character since he was a teen, so getting bagged by the object of his teen fantasies and dreams, all as the former husband is left to watch and humbly facilitate the new "man" of the house must surely be maddening. Imagine the three having to vase and display the flowers Tommy brought for their first public date? That alone could make anybody lose their mind.

I could see the three moving Tommy's stuff into his new home from his parents' home a few doors down, all as the neighbors all watched and snickered to themselves. Not being able to drive any longer this would be accomplished my repeated trips with a trolly up and down the sidewalk, over and over again. I could also see my alter ego giving Tommy the three's convertible sports car as a wedding present, having the three wash it and clean it in the driveway so it will be a perfect present for the new man, the new owner. Would Tommy or my alter ego, or even society require the three to attend the wedding reception, maybe not as a guest, but in service to the wedding party.

I could see a properly dressed and feminized three serving the wedding table specifically, where family and friends couldn't help but to notice, talk about full on humiliation, letting the entire world know the score! Would the waiters in this FLR society be primarily men, or would this kind of event be catered exclusively by threes, the new number three former husband just one of many? Are threes even allowed to congregate, or is this as well discouraged in this society? Less they all get together and rebel.

I could also see Tommy taking the three to the clinic for some of his monthly device inspections and "adjustments" as the inert organ atrophies ever smaller from inaction, Tommy taking "it" there in his new gifted convertible, top down. Do the two hit it off that well that Tommy and my alter ego get married before the full year is up, and if that is the case does Tommy then have legal authority over the number three as well?

Could Tommy also be given the app that controls the shocker device on the chastity device, Tommy using it maybe less than responsibility, or could he even have a chipset installed in the new number three as a surprise wedding gift for his new bride, taking control on and off as he sees fit. This might drift into maid-bot territory, but I will admit that there are certain elements in those stories that I enjoy, specifically the loss of control and responsibility.

If the one-year surgery is a real thing and no idle threat, do the newlyweds reschedule it to coincide with their one-year second honeymoon vacation, they coming home to a fully emasculated number three, healed up and ready to serve the happy new couple for the rest of its life, maybe even with news of my alter ego finally being knocked up?

I kind of have the conclusion already written in my head, but what do you think? I still think the entire story could fit into the chastity section, full on surgical emasculation certainly a "chaste" conclusion.

Thank you again for your kind words and wonderful observations, Jackie.



 

Offline jakbird

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2022, 10:33:34 pm »
I'd say you have all the elements of a story, a real hive buzzing with activity...

Being a libertarian, I have a natural distaste for all things governmental, so I'll forego comments on that part.  I try to avoid the subject of socialism manipulating personal lives with financial incentives.

As for the poor "worker bee" I think there is a rewarding role as caregiver for children, even if not direct progeny. It can be a valued role in advancing society overall, so there is a path to peaceful coexistence for all three.
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline jackierabbit1

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2022, 09:43:15 am »
Well, not to dive too deep into politics as we each have, and are entitled to have our own concepts of what is acceptable government, but I did title that one Dystopia... Just sayin. In the context of this story at least the government is trying to be frugal with the taxpayer's money, (and in the real world that just doesn't happen) but still financially both encouraging and discouraging behaviors that they wish to have, or not have. One could argue that it's for the common good, but that becomes a point of view argument. Then again in this story the women rule the world and have been forced into a pragmatic reality, emasculating somebody who was truly heading in that direction anyway and repurposing their efforts most pragmatic, if not slightly cold and heartless. If you call them a "three" though, you make them something less than you are, or consider yourself to be, so this becomes justified. History has done that a few times already, and likely will again.

As far as the three raising children that it might feel should be its own: rewarding yes, but emotionally impactful too. I have no real-world frame of reference for any of this, but the angst and injustice the three would feel would have to be intense. They could still all get along, each with their own jobs in that family unit, but still. I'm kind of thinking Mrs. Doubtfire here, the Robin Williams character, except much more naturally feminine looking, sexy even.

Anyway, I very much appreciate your thoughts and comments, Jackie.

Offline jakbird

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2022, 01:10:43 pm »
The most feared words in the English language: "Hi!  I'm from the government and I'm here to help!"

In the Dystopia story there's an implicit suspension of belief in assuming a government subsidy is necessary.  Without that assumption the story tends to fall apart as is. In practical terms there are too many recipients of the subsidy for it to work (here's 10K$, and oh by the way we raised your taxes by 12K$ to pay for it).  Then there is a large, disenfranchised slice of society with no prospects for a better future (a la French, Boxer and Russian Revolutions).

Labels will always exist, and playing semantic games doesn't really change anything, other that generating an endless stream of jokes.  A libertarian SF author by the name of L. Neill Smith wrote a book (decades ago) that dealt with an alien society composed of three genders: he, she, and rhe.  Probably long out of print now, but it's a fun read, title is Their Majesties Bucketeers, a sort of Sherlock Holmes mystery mixed in with exploring a culture based on three instead of two (e.g. there are three sides to any problem, so on the third hand...). If derogatory then the "three" becomes something more politically correct, doubtless changing every few years when Modern Language research grants need to be renewed.

There would be a "pragmatic reality" you didn't address, a severe labor shortage.  If the "three" is taken out of the worker pool then who's left to build and maintain the infrastructure?  I'm thinking of 1942 and the large scale shift of women from home to production lines, a pragmatic decision to fill an economic need.

But all that's outside the scope of the story.  To address that much detail you'd need something the size of a novel.
Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide

Offline jackierabbit1

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Re: Dystopia by Jackie Rabbit
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2022, 10:52:01 am »
True this is an erotic short story, but there is recent (2001) precedent for the government paying victims and victims' families benefits for a military type of attack. I think that was maybe done because of a life insurance clause for "acts of war" but I don't know this for a fact. Anyway, if ten percent of the male population had this "disability," that might translate to five percent of the work aged total population. I think 5% unemployment was considered "full employment" in certain times, not to mention other forms of compensation for people who can't work for one reason or another, and therefore collect some kind of public benefits for doing, or not doing so as it were.

Just like in WWII the women would also find themselves in the labor market, and I think this eventually brought about a different national attitude here. In the case of a long war, I could also see attrition taking its toll on the baby making male generation first, also leaving holes in the labor pool that the newly empowered women of Dystopia would also have to fill. If the women of this world are at work, even doing more traditionally male jobs, somebody must be home to raise the little ones, so the threes would be perfect here, perfectly repurposed.

I also agree with being afraid of the government "helping" anything, and in this story they apparently do pony-up with some compensation, but the heavy-handed way they do so, to ensure they are getting what they are actually paying for, with the full might of the government, is also frightening. Imagine paying somebody who had unfortunately lost the use of their legs, so they didn't have to go to work, but making it conditional on removing their legs?  That's pretty awful no matter how you slice it, a real one-way trip.

Strictly speaking and as you pointed out the government wouldn't have to pay anything, but that leaves the women of this world in an awkward situation, and appealing to other women (who primarily are in charge) to right that wrong done to them, the same one that prevents a faster repopulation of the planet, might not be in the leader's best perceived interests. Politicians like to get reelected, and what better way to do so than to be generous with other people's money? Trust me when I tell you that female solidarity is a real thing too. It's my fictional society, and I have implied that it's a democracy of some kind, but who specifically gets to vote, and not vote in this one? A true democracy after all is like three foxes and a chicken voting on the dinner menu, or so said a great man once.

Thank you for your thought provoking words, Jackie.

 

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