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Cuckold, Revisited by Jackie Rabbit

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feline:
Firstly, now I have finally found the time to read this properly, you are a VERY VERY naughty lady for posting such a HOT and EROTIC part, and then telling me there is more to come, but I have to wait for it!?  Mutters darkly about having words with you later...  if only :)

Right, now I have said that, back to the story :)

I actually think the length is very good for the amount of content and action.  Yes, it looks and feels long when you settle down to read it, but it isn't actually "long" in the sense of covering a long and complex arc of events over time.  It is instead fairly detailed, but a lot of the focus of the details is on the people, the feelings, but most importantly, and most successfully for me, on the "now and then" perspective you offer!

Without this, this story would lack most of its emotional depth.  It would be fun and sexy, but nothing really beyond fun and sexy, I suspect, since it would be horny teenagers get carried away and do something kinky.  That would be a GOOD story, but here, contrasting and comparing the adult and teenager perspectives, trying to see the signs and hints you were offering then, and how they would likely be taken, compared to what you were thinking, or more often not thinking at the time...

This takes this from merely good to EXCELLENT!  This is exactly the sort of emotional depth, the ability and desire to connect to the characters, to see this and feel this through their eyes that I look for, crave, yet so rarely manage to find.

Reading this, I was struck several times by the very unfair thought / question of "why this husband?"  From a broarder perspective it is a silly and unfair question, but purely within the scope and sense of the story, there is a strong sense that while you really enjoy being the dominant partner, and exercising your control and rights, you also want and need a stronger partner, someone who would and will take charge more of the time, and "put you into your place".  This of course though is the difference between passion and building a full and loving life together :)

I do like that you are able to look back and see your sexual double standards at work here.  They are quite clear, but instead of pretending they don't exist, you accept that this is who and what you were as a teenager, and simply note them without dwelling on them.

jackierabbit1:
Thank you so much Feline. I struggled with either leaving this particular event alone, or telling it from my perspective, I obviously settling on the latter, but it did take twenty years to do so. Teenagers do teenager things, and it would be disingenuous to claim that my eighteen year old self was anything close to what I am today. We had fun back then though, and even if it seemed mean at times to my boyfriend, it was one hundred percent consensual between us three.

The feeling of being wanted so badly by two desirable boys was hard to put to words, and not just physically wanted either. "Ken," I think, would have been happy to take me for himself, except for his friendship with my future husband. Such options are empowering, even if you don't take them.

That first time had a bunch of steps to it, each building on the other, I think my boyfriend the only one of us three that had intentions even close to where Ken and I ended up. For me to tell that story and skip the details would make it seem impossible, and in light of this I'm glad you thought the length and the amount of detail worked.

As far as the emotions surrounding that event, I've had a fair time to relive them, and then to process them some more. The heat of the moment passion was simply overwhelming, and hard to recreate, but that's a different story. I wish I could go back there and do it all over a thousand times, but things just don't work like that. That's not to say that we hadn't had fun afterwards, we three had a lot together, but the newness of the emotional part was a one time thing.

As far as my hubby, he's a keeper, he allows me to be me, who else would do that? At least once a week he tells me that I could do better, and while I don't necessarily believe that, what a great way to treat a relationship.

I read someplace that every woman should have two husbands; one the provider, the man you come home to, and the man who helps cook and do the dishes afterwards. And the other; the playmate, the one that takes you away for the weekend to the islands, or out on an overnight date to the big city. That one might not be totally dependable, or have some other character flaws, but that's okay, because you have somebody to come home to when you're done playing.

There is a part of me that likes being in charge, and another part of me that likes surrendering that control, but only to someone who is truly worthy, although I don't think those are the best words to describe what I'm trying to say. I think that makes me a dominate submissive, or perhaps just a confused one.

Thanks again for your kind words, Jackie.


   

feline:
Starting in the middle, I am actually reminded, yet again, of a particular episode of the Philieus and Pherb cartoon, when, as happens in cartoons, the boys sister gets transformed into a human giant.  But it was the "evil villain" of the piece that has stuck with me ever since.  The head of a beauty product company, who saw the human giant as the perfect example of female beauty, specifically, an example NO woman could ever measure up to!

Sound familiar?  *sigh*

So yes, something that comes through clearly in the story, and in the emotions and feelings, is the power and amazement of seeing yourself as so desirable, so wanted, wanted for yourself, as well as for your body, that you clearly did not feel that comfortable with at that time.  Being so clearly desired and wanted, it has such power, such a precious feeling!

The way everyone was on a different page, mentally, also shows through, but to be fair, having seen this time and time again at all sorts of ages, its not much of a surprise, even if it does lead to all sorts of confusion and mixed messages.

The way your future husband so clearly thought that once tied up he would be able to easily escape still makes me smile.  You both seemed to take your own perspectives on rope, and your knot tying skills, as self evident.  I can see where both of you are coming from quite clearly, and from distance want to point out that this is the sort of thing that gets explained and communicated - except that when does the real world ever work like that? :)

Still, having pushed and encouraged events to the point where the entire situation *screamed* sex, and you were being offered up on a plate, your future husband still did nothing to stop you from exploring your desires and wants!  Yes, he enjoyed himeself a great deal as well it seems, certainly in this part, but at the same time, I have to point out that THIS, putting your partner so firmly first, this is LOVE!  This is devotion and passion and treasuring them for who and what they really are!

Ultimately, for me, everything here fed together, each of the small steps, reasonable enough by themselves, took the people, and also the readers, on a journey.  It is this journey, the feelings, emotions, and new horizons that give the story such power!

A bit of partner swapping is a lovely fantasy, but can also be purely physical, quite empty of emotion or meaning...  after all, sometimes that is the point.  But here...  to me, the emotional journey, the "you asked for this, and now you are going to get it" sense of seeing your boyfriends plan to its new, unexpected conclusion, is what REALLY gives this the power, passion and wonderfulness :)

Also, this puts several of your current story arcs into a different light, and shows more clearly where you are coming from, something that I have often not seen so clearly.

I don't recognise the point about two husbands, but I do recall the comment about "show me a beautiful wife, and I will show you an ignored and overlooked woman".  It seems that so many men just want to chase what is new, rather than savour, cherish, worship and build up what they already have!  No, you have a deeply amazing husband, somehow who understands and accepts you as you are, and it seems you accept and understand your husband for who he is as well.  The romantic in me is VERY VERY happy at this news :)

teanndaorsa:
Part 2 of this went up today, enjoy!

feline:
I had actually intended to finish reading this before starting to compose my thoughts on this part, but that idea didn’t last long.  Nearly as soon as I started this part the emotional impact just hit me, and I really am moved to start commenting!  This is important, and powerful, and good!

At the risk of being petty, I actually find I want and need to start with your future husband wanting, demanding and taking such deep kisses of you, especially since he clearly knows where your mouth has been, and what it has been doing.  Compare / contrast this with where and how you started part 1, where he refused to lick up traces of his own semen after the handjob in the back of the car.

One big difference is before orgasm vs after orgasm on his part, but still, this is so very striking, and says a lot about the power and emotion of what has been happening.

To say that he is in a *DIFFERENT* head space than you were, and you were expecting, is just a bit of an understatement!  Your fears, worries, concerns, and also the bravery in facing up to this right away, rather than just leaving him, refusing to face your boyfriend in your tired and confused state is impressive, and just makes me respect you even more!

This may well not have been what your boyfriend set out to achieve, but then seeing his reaction, wanting to know how it was...  I really do love the point where you actually describe the experience as him lending you to Ken, this putting everything into a different light.  But also, VERY clearly reinforcing the point and fact that as far as you are concerned you two are still the couple you always were, this isn’t the end of your togetherness, this was just “something that happened”, for want of a better phrase.

Your sense of emotional turmoil and shock really comes through, it is this emotional depth and power that is why I care, why I am interested, why I am drawn in!  Without this, without the feelings, the moments, trying to move forward and work out what is happening and where you are going, this would be a much more empty experience.

The two different perspectives, we don’t actually know what is going through your boyfriends mind at this moment, but your thoughts, reactions, fears and concerns, even so far as to note the effect that the larger, and more aggressive Ken had on you physically, it is very clear that you care for and love your boyfriend, you are still trying to look out for him, and his ego, his mental well being, even in your tired and confused state.

Then we have the request, the desire to be “made”, “forced” to go down on you and clean you up and out.  It is very clear now that while events may not have taken the expected path, they have ended up taking a path that your boyfriend is more than happy with, and interested in!  Somehow though you both need to end up on the same page about all of this, and what is going on, and what the future might hold.

A deeply loving, attentive, and actually very satisfied, in a denied way, boyfriend.  It is amazing, yet also rewarding, to see how happily and eagerly he is embracing this experience, and the result of loosing his bet.  I do wonder to what degree loosing the bet is providing an ideal excuse for what he always wanted anyway...  ideal really, since it smooths the whole issue of introducing and explaining what he wants, desires and needs from this aspect of your relationship!

And yes, leaving him unfinished is clearly the correct response, as both of you see and understand :)

Smirk, Ken’s shirt as the only thing to wear the next morning, another touch of Ken marking “his” territory it seems, even if that doesn’t seem to have been that striking a thought to you at the time :)  Naughty, I approve :)

What’s next, well yes, working this out ahead of time would have been better, but when do we get that sort of chance? :)

I would point out that while your boyfriend hiding the idea of the threesome from you took a bit of doing, its much easier to hide something if no one is looking for it.  There was no suggestion, before things started down this road, that you were thinking in these terms.  Flirting with and teasing Ken is one thing, but thinking in terms of being offered up as a sexual partner?  Rather a different idea.

Your boyfriend not getting you due to his own lack of need?!  HARSH!  Harsh, but yes, in a way, exactly.  Still, harsh and wicked of you.  Then again, I wonder how much of this thinking is driven by you still punishing him for putting you into this rather pleasurable and entirely unforeseen situation.

Cleaning up and sending your boyfriend off to the river, another reference to his reporting of the events, I am starting to think I need to stop and wander off to read this before continuing, but I am getting side tracked enough, so I will stay here and see how this goes.  Still, the idea that your boyfriend wants / enjoys being treated with cruelty while in the threesome situation fits with the general feeling of events here, and his submissive nature.

Unintentional show with your front half in the tent - fear not, I a *sure* both boys were perfect gentlemen and didn’t oggle at all... :)

Ken being back to just being a good friend, again that fascinating feeling of seeing events both as a thoughtful adult and a “hormone addled” teenager at the same time, it adds so much flavour and interest to this :)  Also it adds a lot of, to my mind, much needed depth to the people, and what they are thinking and feeling.

I am very pleased to see you rethinking your natural tendency to dress so modestly around these two, since it speaks very well towards how you feel about all of the positive attention you have been getting, and deserve :)

The talk in the car, like Ken is making some kind of confession?!  We are clearly deep into confession, and “oh shit, how deeply did I fuck everything up” is my thought.

The “tease” about being kicked out of the car and left by the side of the road, half naked...  one part wickedly sexy fantasy, one part naughty flirty tease, one part reassuring, one part hinting at games to come, and one part sending my mind off to consider interesting parallels from some of your other stories...  so much achieved with just the right words :)

Ken with plans for an ordeal, there I was going with the simple and shallow view that it was good to see him understanding and stepping into the dom / leadership role that this weekend is asking for him, when you (he) surprised and delighted me with proper depth and consideration, and concerns about acting and behaving like this towards his best friend, even with his friend having asked for less nice treatment!  Again, the gulf between a simple fantasy and something with depth and characters I can and do get behind and really care about and care for!

An anti-climatic ordeal...  definitely a valid concern, but also delightfully mysterious :)

Having taken your boyfriend to the drop off point for his little walk, the question of why he is asking for, looking for this treatment if it does not give him any pleasure in the moment is a very good and obvious question.  The request stands, the plan stands, but it’s good to see that you are taking note of this question, you are aware of and considering this question, where and how all of this is coming together and perhaps where things are going to go in the future.

Preparing your boyfriend, the “not so nice” feelings you are experiencing, again it is the emotion, and the sense of taking things into a new direction, but so very clearly planned and deliberate, so clearly and “forcefully”, no wonder your own emotions are somewhat confused and less than comfortable for you.  Without this you would come across as more of a shallow outline of a person, rather than the flesh and blood woman that is at the heart of this experience.

I do wonder how your boyfriend is supposed to start untangling himself though.  I am left with the mental image of having to climb the tree and get over the main branch that is above him, while handcuffed and naked, which seems like it could present a rather significant challenge...  or am I missing something obvious here?  Time will tell.

At the same time, is Ken aware at all of your growing interest in him taking charge of you as well?  To what degree are you even clear in your own mind on these thoughts and desires?  So much still to learn and see!

Just left your boyfriend, and you wondering if you should tell the “evil” Ken that your kiss was no act...  I would like to think that he could tell your kiss was no act, I would like to think that he could tell you were excited, even if he did not know all of the whys, after all, did you? :)

Ouch, watching you tell Ken that he was the best ever sex, that “hurt”, I suspect this makes sense, even as I am not sure how to explain my reaction.  As for Ken knowing how good he was, we already know the answer to that, he has already confessed that basically he is “to much” for other girlfriends.  Being told that he is physically unsuitable to satisfy them... THAT is going to do absolutely nothing for his confidence, so why should he have a high opinion of his ability to please a lady?

As you suddenly realise Ken is looking for permission to have you again...  I have the sudden urge to slap both of you with the silly stick, while also going all gooey and happy inside at the level of gentle, caring, supportive tenderness that Ken is showing, even as he puts on the act of being a jerk to help his best friend!  Such conflicting feelings, both of which are “right”.

You gave permission the night before, by not stopping him once you had set things in motion.  I doubt you saw it like that then, but he has already said as much to you.  So it seems reasonable enough that he wants permission again now, especially since, unlike with your boyfriend, no one has yet told him what you are looking for from the rest of the weekend...

OUCH!!!  Given the nature of the breakup with Cathy, it is frankly amazing that Ken is handling the whole tie up and abuse your boyfriend experience so well!  It certainly goes a long way towards explaining any hesitancy he will show towards you and dominating you, as you are realising you want and desire.

AH...  FINALLY!  Telling Ken what you want, and telling him not to ask!  Yes and no, its a “lie” in the general sense, but in the specific sense it is clearly very much the truth!

And then Ken proves he is the person I thought and hoped he was, he double checks, he makes sure, he doesn’t just jump right in.  He may not be husband material, for any number of good reasons, but THIS helps to show and prove why you are able to relax into and enjoy this experience with him, like this.  He is “safe” in a suitably dangerous way :)

Tied up a bit more fully, finally, and yet again Ken shows why he is a suitable “gentle barbarian” for this side of your nature, and for these needs you have.

*giggles* threatening to get other campers for you to practise on, so sweet of him!  It would be so much more effective / scary if you thought for a single second that he would follow through with such a threat, but he is trying :)

There I was wondering at the outcome of your bet with Ken, and come the end we find the answer :)

This story has been a most amazing journey, as I hope you see clearly through my thoughts here :)  Thank you, all three of you, and may you and your wonderful husband always be very happy together, and YES, he really is a wonderful man :)

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