Author Topic: Story looking for feedback - The Andro-Nurse  (Read 109 times)

Offline Leedonkenburg

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Story looking for feedback - The Andro-Nurse
« on: April 20, 2024, 06:12:20 am »
Looking for feedback and perhaps a grammar pass - Cheers! -Lee

The Andro-nurse
Storycodes; Solo-F, fpov, bandages, mum, clinic, cocoon, drug, machine, sci-fi, reluctant, XX

After a catastrophic period for humanity, today people were generally reasonably well off – Especially in the developed regions. While most hard-labour jobs had been outsourced to androids, gynoids and the likes, there were still the odd job left for those who had the intellect, skills and time, and who’ve found something to spend their time on, rather than sitting about doing nothing but purely distracting themselves, while keeping a pseudo-social presence on the CloudNet. One such person, was Selene. Having gone an unusual route, for the time, she’d gone and got herself a degree in Robotics Engineering – Something which granted her a job and a good position in current society – She was important. Not just to her own economy and time, but to the general society.

Putting on her commuter-clothing, a turtle-neck sweater in a dark purple, Jeans and trainers, she went off to the Magneto-rail station, to go to work. - Sitting in the rail carriage, she took out her tablet, starting to read up on the order of the day – Calibration and test of a new nurse android. The programmers had work with medical doctors in all fields of medicine, coding procedures, symptoms and a general library of illnesses, hoping to, if not replace, then aiding – For instance in the, often very overrun emergency rooms.
Arriving at the, for the time, anonymous building, in this case, meaning loads of blue-tinted glass and white concrete, Selene went by the front-desk, clocking in for the day, and going to change into her work-clothes. Steel-capped shoes, a light blue jumpsuit with Velcro strips so she could adjust the fit, which in her case, often meant tightening around her waist, to have a bit of figure, and a white lab coat.

Going from the women’s changing rooms, into the corridor towards the laboratories and workshops, she met up with Dr. Sheldon, the lead on the nurse project.
- “Hey, Selene! Ready for today? - We’re going to test the diagnostics system, today – The techies have already set it up!”
- “Yes, Dr. Let’s see how this goes!”
Walking into their main lab, for the day, the techies signed off on the project, ready for testing.

Dr. Sheldon pushed a button on his tablet, activating the robot. The robot activated, stepping off it’s charging station, looking both Sheldon and Selene in the eyes, greeting.
- “I am Genny, your robotic medical assistant – How may I help you, today?”
- “Marvelous! Looks like we’re really well along the way!”, Sheldon proclaimed.
- “Are you taking it all down, yeah? Plus from the lab cam system, yeah?”, he asked.
- “I’m getting it all, Dr.”

Dr. Sheldon going about, looking and prodding at the android, a techie peeked into the lab, going -
- “Dr.? We need a quick review of some code, do you have 10 minutes?”
- “Alright – Selene, If you could keep it going, here?”
Selene nodded, waving off the techie and Dr. Sheldon.

Walking around, admiring the robot nurse, she thought to herself – This is so big – Who knows, where the world will end up – Perhaps even more relaxed and rich on resources, that having a job and be a wage-slave, would be possibly be a real past!
Flipping through a notebook on a table, she cut a small sore on her right index finger – Nothing big, but enough to make the android react.
The android, facing towards Selene went “I am Genny, your robotic medical assistant – I see you have contracted an injury – I’d like to check it”
Making big eyes, Selene tried backing away from the robot, trying to rub off the worst of the blood, keeping her distance.
- “You seem agitated! - If you do not comply now, my protocols allow for use of physical force, if Yellow or Red codes allow – If you are a danger to yourself, meaning I have the clearance to restrain you for treatment!”
Selene leapt towards the robot, to try toppling it over, allowing her escape. However the robot was fast, and gifted with great strength. Grabbing her arm, the robot spun out a set of drones. To manage the patient as fas as possible, the first couple of drones, went for her head, wrapping in a fast and thorough manner, though maintaining her nasal airways. With her vision being impaired within the first seconds, she felt the drones work their way down her face, leaving her hair to the open. With the drones going top-down, Selene was increasingly deprived of mobility and means to resist. She felt the robot itself force her wrists together, while having a drone tie he arms together at her wrists and elbows. The robot let go, allowing three of it’s drones wrap her up. Covering her chest, and going downwards, pinning her wrapped arms behind her back, to her body.
The drones, having reached Selene’s feet, left off, back to the little hangar in Ginny. Selene was about to fall over, though was caught and laid neat and soft on the floor, by the robot. It was tight. She felt the resistance but also the comfort of being wrapped. Almost like an overly tight and restrictive weighted blanket or duvet. Feeling a prick in the arm, through the wraps, Selene wasn’t sure if it was just her dozing off, in the wrappings, or if it was something the robot injected into her, to calm her down.

With no idea how long had passed, Selene woke up in a hospital bed in a single room at the laboratory. Such a strange round, Selene thought to herself. She found herself intrigued by the wrapping – How it calmed her down. A handful of minutes later, Dr. Sheldon peeked through the window in the door to Selene’s room.
- “I see you’re well and rested! I really hope you haven’t taken damage in any way. The robot OS procedures might have crossed wires – The procedure that had originally been coded for a papercut was just a bandage”
- “I’m alright Dr. It was just so...calming…”

By Lee Donkenburg

Offline Rubberh

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Re: Story looking for feedback - The Andro-Nurse
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2024, 08:16:23 pm »
The story has a good start and premise.

You might want to prolong the wrapping process. Have her allow the nurse to bandage her finger, but the nurse overdoes it. Selene then pulls back her hand, but then bangs her knee on a table or chair. The nurse then starts attending to that 'injury' with ice packs and more bandages. Then Selene starts resisting in earnest, having more attempts by the nurse to 'treat' her and during the process she is then overpowered as if she was an out of control patient.

She then finally sucumbs and when she wakes up, she is hooked up to IVs and realizes she is in the ISOLATION WARD. Dr. Sheldon then tells her that the nurse is programmed to monitor her and keep her calm to prevent her from harming herself. Unfortunately, the programming needs to be debugged and it cannot be done until the nurse's batteries run down.

Offline Leedonkenburg

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Re: Story looking for feedback - The Andro-Nurse
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2024, 11:01:11 am »
Fun thought! Not quite sure about how narratively involved, the wrapping really needs to be, but I guess that can be found out, by doing a new pass, with your idea!

Cheers, for now!
Lee

 

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