Believe me, I've gone long stretches without anyone to play with. But I'm happy to share what secrets I have to find playmates:
Pay attention to yourself. Decent grooming, clothes that fit, a positive attitude, self-confidence, comfortable with who you are: these are all very attractive qualities. If you do something interesting that makes for good (quickly-told) stories, that's a bonus. If you don't, why not find something? More fun for you, more attention from others.
Go to lots of your local kink events. Attend often. Help out with setup and tear-down. Get to know folks, and make friends before you start looking for playmates. You don't want to appear on the prowl for "fresh meet", and making friends is also its own reward.
No kink events nearby? Consider your local fan conventions. The geek/kinkster overlap is huge, and you'll get to see some very yummy costumes. (DO NOT be a creep about this. Be respectful, and your reputation will continue to climb. Again, make friends and help out.)
Advanced class: start your own local kink group. Many people have pulled this off, but I'm not brave enough to try it. Staffing at a few fan cons is enough work and drama for me.
Speaking of which stay out of drama. Try to avoid taking sides, and stick to sympathetic non-commital answers when people seem to want you to join the drama "fun". This is not what you are here for.
If you put the time in, eventually you'll have opportunities for play. This is one of the trickiest bits! Whenever you are playing with someone new, be damn sure to show them at least as good or better a time than they gave you, by *their* standards. They will remember you as someone who was *awesome* to play with, and trust me, these things get around. Be kind and respectful even when engaging in the cruelest behavior (if that's the scene). If the "cleaning the fridge" scene I mentioned had been focused on real humiliation, I'd have been done immdiately, no matter how hot the ladies involved.
Pick up a good book or two on the sexual anatomy of the genders you are interested in. I don't mean to brag, but my ability to find a clit and then do interesting things with it literally won me an award at FetFest a couple of years ago. Again, you may become legend.
If you are chill enough, accept offers of play from many gender presentations. Once you get over certain societal biases, it turns out that playing with people who don't fit your initial sexual attractions can be hella fun and very instructive.
Those are my top tips. They don't guarantee you a mind-blowing scene every weekend... but I've sure had plenty over the years following these rules!
Yours,
Shok