I want to start off by saying I did enjoy the story...
but I want to offer some constructive criticism to you ZTV25
First your description of Nali being:"Tall – between six or seven foot at least" A one foot height tolerance is extreme when describing a person.
If you look at the attached file the images represent the three main characters of my Slaviversary stories, the pink one is 6'-1 1/2", the blue 5'-4", and the yellow 5'-6". I created this so I could realistically describe my character physical interactions
As you can see there is a drastic height difference between the pink figure and the other two is already substantial at just over a half foot
Now you never really mention Taylor's true height, but without a considerable suspension of believe he'd need to be the size of a garden gnome to truly be trapped between her breasts and hidden under tight clothing, even considering Nali being 7' tall. If this were a Shrinking Man or Giantess story I could set aside this with the expectations of those genres relying on Mystical or Technological element to cause a size change. But since it was rooted in 'real' world it stands out to me.
You have good potential, and I liked the characters' other interactions. I hope to see more from you
Topic: She Was a Vision by ZTV25 (Read 4351 times)
