kink and fetishes: fantasy or lived experience?

[Observer]

Hello

In another thread, I wondered about the "experience level" of the readers and writers here with bondage, rubber, fetishes etc etc (I'll use "kink" as an umbrella term). I also wondered about people's "comfort level" with their own kinks.

So... what is kink to you?  Is a fantasy only?  Something you want to experience one day?  Or something you have dabbled with?  Made an important part of your life?

And is it something you are at ease with, or does it trouble you?  How well do you accept your sexuality?

I have been very fortunate that I learned to accept who I was in my early 20s and have made latex, bondage etc a big part of my life.  At this very moment, I am writing in a hotel, at the end of a big rubber convention (MIRXXX) where I got to wear a lot of latex, meet other rubberists and have a great time.

But I've come to realize that I have no idea if this perspective is common or rare here...

[Eido]

Hello Observer, to your first question, I'm going with all of the above, depending on the year. I have been around long enough that my kinks have been just a fantasy, something I wanted to experience some day, then dabbled with, and they became important to me. Somewhere in that important phase, I realized that they weren't that important in comparison to other things in life, and I went back to dabbling.

Again. At one time I thought I was okay with them. Then they became troubling to me. Finally I reached a point where I just quit caring. I don't think of my kinks as my sexuality. They are/were accessories to play around with.

Bad things happened to me, and I think that has influenced my attitude, unconsciously at first, then with deliberation. I am genuinely glad to read that you are in the group for which kinks are a great time. I hope it is always so for you.

Eido

[sammy808]

i've done most of the things i write about. 
i kind of miss my enema era.  every saturday night, staying up until 2am, purging the last of the fluid.
but i'm older now, and kneeling on the bathroom floor is less fun now.  we need to evolve better knees.

being mummified for the first and only time confirmed how much that was a thing for me.

but, let's go onto sexuality.  i'm pretty sure i've done them all.  comp-het in school, lesbian in college, mixed up bi- to pan- in extra college.  ace now.  i'm never going to find someone to do crime against humanity level perv on me, and that's probably a good thing.  at least for me growing old, i guess.

i did do self-bondage, usually on those enema saturdays, since that was the safest time.  i had a few incidents where i had to recite the thing i later found out was just from the dune movie or something "something something 'fear is the mind-killer' something something whatever, a crib from St. Francis.  but i'm here, and i've long had that duct tape glue washed off my skin.



i've accepted an ascetic life.  my match cross-section of the current population is vanishingly small. 

idk what you want, but stop and think about this:
* you exist in a body, and you will wear that body until you die.
* other people have largely equivalent bodies
* if you wear something you like, it hurts other people zero percent.  "they're scandalized!"  why?
* * everyone has a body
* * that body was born naked
* * that body will die, and no clothes can fix that.
* * so clothing is just an affectation.  it doesn't change the fundamental person.
* * so wearing rubber, latex, pvc, or whatever, really shouldn't be something people get upset about.
* * * i understand that i live in, and imagine largely, a utopian university-based life.
* * * * but under which standard does the guy at the deli, the lady making you pancakes, or the senator you just called and yelled at.  under which standard are these different from the previously stated points.

sorry.  i think i got too up my own ass on this one.  happy to be deleted and banned for a bit if that's the verdict.

all i can do is be the me that i think i am. 

i am so glad you could go and visit what seems like your Mecca.  i hope you have many years to visit there.  XD

and yeah.  the bad things.  not going to detail them here, but yeah.  bad things.  from people you think you can trust.

which might be a bit of the reason i identify ace now.

sorry that this is a rambling mess.  chats aren't stories, and i need to get that in my head right