Story Idea- feedback, thoughts welcome!

[harleyntink89]

Hey all.

So this would be a sequel to another story I wrote about a year ago for my bf (the two main characters are loosely based on us), which has no mind control  or transformations of any kid but  I feel  sets up the ground work nicely for a follow up that does.

The first story involves a  stripper and a frat boy meeting and falling in love. She previously came from a good family and  had money but decided to break away and has been struggling and working as a stripper  ever since. However,  she is known for having a bit of a haughty attitude and ice princess demeanor throughout the story- the most obvious instance is her  reluctance to have any close contact with customers and instead make them feel like they're paying just to get her attention. He is basically about to be kicked out of school due to his grades and partying lifestyle. The frat boy meets the stripper and the two actually hit it off and he is noticeably her favorite customer.  Although he tries to get  her to submit to sleeping with him, she  refuses and eventually he realizes he wants more and tries to convince her to leave her job. She does- but to make this summary short- not after the other strippers and owners of the club decide they've had enough of her attitude and publicly humiliate her on stage, and he comes to her rescue.

In the sequel, she's no longer a stripper, but he still is bothered that she seems to have some of that lifestyle still left in her (i.e. wearing tight revealing clothes when they go out etc), so he sees an ad  online for a collar that would force her to do as he says. It is voice activated and recognizes his voice only. He uses it  have her act like a sexy maid and other kinky things they both enjoy ( even though she has no way to object). But then she starts to develop a somewhat ditzy air-headed persona while wearing the collar (in contrast to her usual coy, conniving, somewhat manipulative personality), and he   notices that he becomes an angrier and more forceful while he interacts with her (almost his subconscious way of punishing her- the earlier story also mentions he  his struggle  to keep the "beast" inside). Eventually, she manages to sneak away  to the office of the company that sold the collar.

This is where it gets weird. The owner of the company strongly resembles  her boyfriend, but  is taller, leaner, and also more refined. In fact, he has  a very limited range of emotions and almost always appears calm and calculating. He tricks her into   putting the collar on and since he sounds  similar, his commands work. Since she is actually the first buyer ( it was experimental which is why it was so cheap), he tries her out- while making  his hench man watch and then  tells her to sleep.  When they realize  that the  collar actually works on not only the victim, but also that her boyfriend's personality has been altered, they wonder if they can change his memory  into believing she was a robot all along.  They also plan to keep her for further experimenting.

Side note...at one point,  they muse about putting her on display as a mannequin,, and she is  lightly body shamed for being small, as a comment is made that she should be  in  kids sizes and yet she was a former stripper (they have  her information from the order form her boyfriend submitted). This is  meant to funny because in the first story  she actually believes her natural petite appearance to be superior to thicker girls or  the fake Barbie's..

And that's all I got so far...any suggestions  would help. Thanks!!