Unbalanced by Albarez9

[teanndaorsa]

You can view the story here on the plaza:

https://www.boundstories.net/storiessz/unbalanced.html
MF; F/f; M+F/f; oral; sex; bodymod; revenge; amputate; kidnap; slave; whip; dungeon; hum; cane; urine; chain; nc; XXX

Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.

Thanks 

[pgmr185]

This one had a really strange tone to it, like it was written by AI.

[le Bouc]

This critique is for constructive purposes only to aid improvement.
The framing of this story is promising. I like the blend of 1980's culture used to flesh out the society. It is a blend of Soviet-style governance/culture mixed with Bill Clinton mixed with 'The Handmaid's Tale' mixed with hardcore hentai. It works well together almost like a dark episode of the animated 'Aeon Flux'. The first half of the story promises all this and really had my interest. I will say over-description of your protagonist, especially up front, is a hard habit to break (guilty as I so do too).
As to the technicality of the writing, it could really benefit from careful editing. There are parts that repeat themselves almost as if the audience needs constant reminding of what is going on. Next, the names get interchanged between "Michelle" and "Mitchell" which is distracting. I would recommend reading it aloud to ensure the syntax and structure work; the wording almost comes across as if English were the second language.
I enjoyed the first half of the story. The depressing end really wasn't for me though.

Bonne écriture,
Le Bouc