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Dollification => stories feedback => Topic started by: Gromet on October 30, 2017, 09:36:11 AM

Title: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on October 30, 2017, 09:36:11 AM
You can view the story here on the plaza:
Solo-F; FM/f; machine/f; roleplay; maid; latex; maid-bots; uniform; bonnet; device; mind-control; program; transform; F2maidbot; computer; pod; tubes; insert; servant; controlled; recharge; cons; X
F+/f; FM+/f; machine/f; latex; maid-bots; uniform; bonnet; device; mind-control; program; transformed; F2maidbot; computer; pod; tubes; insert; servant; controlled; recharge; discovery; revealed; teased; tormented; party; guests; forced; kiss; oral; lesbian; cons/reluct; X
F/f; M+/f; machine/f; latex; uniform; maid-bots; device; mind-control; program; transformed; F2maidbot; computer; controlled; recharge; tech-bots; diagnose; transport; factory; pod; tubes; insert; nanobots; bodymod; mind-wipe; android; mistake; coverup; delivery; sold; cons; X

Please feel free to leave your kind comments & feedback here about this story.

Thanks  ;)
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: jackierabbit1 on October 31, 2017, 12:27:34 AM
A very good read, somehow I didn't think that yacht was coming back, although I thought the evil sister was going to torment her new maid bot for the rest of her life.

Thanks for sharing, Jackie.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on October 31, 2017, 01:13:18 AM
I was going to have her evil sister take the inheritance and leave her sister as a maid-bot, using and abusing her. But instead opted for the sister having such deep regret over causing her sister's change that she went mad.

This is my second Maid-bot/Mind control story that was supposed to be a short story, written in one day anyway.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: taurired on October 31, 2017, 04:23:54 AM
Good story and kind I always like
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Kentwolf on October 31, 2017, 05:34:50 PM
I enjoyed the story but i felt it got too dark too quick at the end. i think you should have gone with the original idea you had of her sister taunting her. maybe without the total rewrite of her memories so she knew inside her head the truth but her body couldnt act on it
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: taurired on November 01, 2017, 10:26:40 AM
Btw, is there such stories there person doesn't get permanently converted in the end?

I only remember Xaltatun of Acheron's stories (like Fiona). Is there other such stories?
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: feline on November 01, 2017, 12:41:32 PM
I am left with quite mixed feelings here.  I really enjoyed the first two parts, but the 3rd part didn't go in a direction that I am that comfortable with.  The final ending makes a lot of sense, and does follow this through to one logical conclusion, it's just not for me.

Reading part 1, the line, the scene that stands out most strongly for me is how Andrea explains that the daughter is going to be one of the maids, she can either volunteer, or be forced, but there is no choice in this matter!

Talk about a strong personality who has decided what is best here.  Then later on when her father returns home, and watching the different ways her parents interact with her, and how proud yet nervous her mother is in showing off her daughter as a fully programmed and controlled maid.  Her mother clearly has a fair sense of what is going on here, and how firmly the computers control is going to be, but I do wonder if she understands quite how firm it is going to be.

I really did enjoy the contrast between her inner thoughts, which were still somewhat free and human, and all outward expressions of what was going on.  Personally I would have enjoyed this more if it had gone in a different direction, and explored more the contrast between the hard working daughter and the completely controlled maid, especially if she only had limited control over when she was returned to maid mode, and how this would effect her life and family relationships.

A very fun read, and thank you for posting this :)
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on November 01, 2017, 08:12:38 PM
I will write a more happier ending, I'm working on it currently.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: jackierabbit1 on November 01, 2017, 10:23:05 PM
I could see an alternate "somewhat happy ending" version of this story, one where maybe the evil sister wakes from a horrible nightmare only thinking her sister got shipped back to the factory for a reset. Maybe even the privileged kids could steal her for a time, or just for fun have an exact duplicate of her made so that they could keep and torment the original while the imposter maid bot toils about the house until she is eventually discovered.

Thanks again for sharing this fun story, Jackie.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: feline on November 05, 2017, 03:38:20 PM
Gromet, this is wonderful news, I am very pleased to read this :)

To be honest this story has been going round and round and round in my head for the last few days.  I just keep on coming back to the whole "you are going to be a maid, either volunterraly or we will force you", and how this could play out, and how it effects her interactions with the family.  Her father is the soft touch, the loving family man who want's what is best for her, but who is quite prepared to be guided and instructed by his wife, her mother, especially as he is out of the house so much of the time.

Then we have the "wicked sister", who is going to take full advantage of her sister as a maid, including and eagerly handing her around to her friends it seems, just hopefully with some more safety precautions, or limited permissions, in place.

Then we have the mother, to me the most complex character here.  She is being kind and loving to her daughter, supporting her, helping her to relax while on holiday, but at the same time she is deliberately showing her off in front of family friends, she is parading around this maid who has been made to look exactly like their daughter, yet who is being treated like an object!  Her daughter does not even get any form of say in all of this, so where on the sliding scale between loving mother and wicked dominatrix does her mother sit?

I think here you have hit a wonderful sweet spot for me, capturing so many of the points about loss of control, domination, being taken over, restrained and captured, and having all of this forced on you, yet forced in a loving and supportive manor that is all for "your own good and in your own best interests" that has always fascinated me, but that I so rarely find captured so clearly :)

So thank you for writing this story, and thank you again for returning to this, to explore a happier approach to these events.  I just hope I can encourage and support you in exploring the ideas you have here a bit more fully :)

And Jackie, I am getting to your summer of dares, I just want to make sure I have the time and energy to do it justice :)
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: oneupthextraman on November 10, 2017, 12:45:44 PM
I agree with everybody here. I was not a huge fan of the ending. I thought it was a bit sad for what I thought was a generally fun and happy story. I think a good direction would be that the parents come home early (engine trouble, or weather, or somethign) and find the older sister had a party, and decide to turn her into maid too to teach her a lesson. I think that would be a fun direction.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on November 10, 2017, 01:02:06 PM
I'm away at the moment, but have written part 3a - The Nice Ending. let me know what your thoughts are,

It'll get posted to the site when I return from darkest Victoria.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: taurired on November 10, 2017, 03:49:16 PM
'Nice' ending is better.
several questions:
- why mainframes? why not "home server"? current-day mainframes by IBM (and some japonese companies) are big machines for rather specific data processing.
- what the hell is 'mini-mainframe'?
- CEO thought about people wanting to use system on themselves and it's possible to disable punishment for 'wrong thoughts'. Is it also possible to leave 'maid' in control?Body still controlled by computer/headband but 'maid' can send orders to computer and be her own (and other maids's) Mistress or even stop program.

Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: oneupthextraman on November 10, 2017, 07:51:59 PM
I very much enjoyed this new ending better. It open up the possibility of more stories, and it is less sad. And possible revenge on the sister. I enjoy this little world you have created with these stories, and the maid-human-robot story type. Keep it up.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on November 11, 2017, 12:25:59 AM
In reply to Tuarired:

Main frames also seem to be the eviler of the servers, no reason to use them otherwise. Though with technology advanced enough to enable a mind control device to fit inside a maids cap I'm sure the system would have been reduced down in size from the old IBM machines.
Mini mainframe, one based on your home laptop, I should have made it clearer.
One of the ideas is that people wishing to try being a maid-bot for a day or longer, he'd had several requests in the story, so was pursuing a new range that he could sell to the public. Stacy was the first test subject, so the punishment settings were higher for her to test her reactions.
No the maid cannot send orders to the computer, she's under the influence of the system and controlled. All commands could be pre-programmed into the system beforehand. Like a time limit for how long she remains under as a maid-bot.
Stacy was able to interact with her mother for the last few days because the system enabled this to happen, and everyone wanted a nicer ending, which this is.

I'll take on board any comments about this story for the final edit that will be posted to the plaza & deviantart.

Let me know your thoughts.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: taurired on November 11, 2017, 05:52:37 AM
If it's possible to have time limit, why in the end it's her roommate decision to use here as maid or not. No time limit was active?
Btw, Is part 4 planned?

Story IS great. I'm sorry if my comments looks I don't like it. I'm reading it as SciFi one and trying to find issues with world.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on November 11, 2017, 09:27:55 AM
No problem, feedback helps me build the story. Yes she could have set a time limit, I was being a bit wicked with the ending, I'll change it to have her just come out of her maid-bot stage but still dressed as a maid as her flatmate walks in the door finding her there.

I didn't have plans for a part 4, but then again I didn't have plans for a new part 3. I'm currently writing a doll/maid story, well more latex doll so will finish that soon. But if you have suggestions as to where this story could go...
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: jackierabbit1 on November 11, 2017, 12:09:31 PM
I like the concept of alternate endings, the reader can choose which she prefers and go with that one. Both of course have their merits, and I must admit that I have enjoyed this story line.
 Of all the characters in this story the mother I think is the most intricate, she runs the mansion while the father is off making money, she then ultimately responsible for both daughters diverse upbringing. The elder daughter is about what one would expect given her level of pampering, but the younger seems destine and happy to serve others.
 I am left to wonder if the mother has a favorite, or if her long term plans call for her younger daughter to serve for a longer period of time once out of school as a proof of concept test, perhaps forever if some form of doppelganger could be manufactured to take her place in the real world if she should suddenly remember her mother's infidelity.

Thanks for sharing, Jackie.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: feline on November 12, 2017, 01:50:39 PM
A much happier, and very interesting take on part 3.

We have seen so much more now of the mother, of what is driving her, and what is going on here.  For all of this extra insight, I am still not sure how much of an accurate read I have on her, but that's part of what makes her fun and interesting to me :)

The feeling of distance between the mother and father, the sense of them being from different worlds, and not on the same page about their daughter as a maid-bot makes so much more sense now.  The father seems distance because he is so often not there, he is barely in the house most of the time, but he is important due to his money making ways.  So he has to be considered, but he is not a big emotional part of the situation.

The "coldness" of the mother has also been well explained, her initial investigations into turning Stacy into a maid bot were motivated by love and concern for her daughter, but once she came to see and understand the money making potential of all of this, that took over most of her thoughts and focus.  This also naturally explains why she had her daughter serving in front of her friends, why she was happy to show her off, but wanted to do so in private, by maintaining the fiction that her daughter was still away at college.

For all of this, there is also the fact that she was happy to use her daughter as the first test subject for this new program, but I am left with the sense, rightly or wrongly, that she was more concerned with the results and the opportunity to make lots of money, and much less concerned with all of the technical details, including the memory wipe and the fact that her daughter became company property.

Mix into this the fact that she is now having an affair, probably not her first affair either, given the speed with which this all came to pass, and so much more of her emotional background and feeling makes sense.

Stacy, seeing her memories being edited, this is powerful and unsettling, but goes to the heart of what this story is, and what it is about.  I do really like the fact that while other people think all of her memories have been wiped out, some of them are still inside of her, still things she knows and wants to react to, but that she is being kept in line by the control and punishment routines.

A practical point while thinking about this, you have the line:

>> Robert picked up on Stacy being punished for her thoughts, “Thank you Stacy-bot, that will be all, you can return to your other duties.”

when Robert and the mother are together, around Stacy the maid.  This does not make much sense, since why would he alone pick up on the punishment, when Stacy's mother was not picking anything up?  There just needs to be some indicator sent to him about this, since he is monitoring and testing her responses while she is in his house.

Seeing the mother pick up Stacy, but forgetting all about bring any clothes with her, so Stacy had to go home dressed as the maid was a really powerful moment, since we got to see both sides of Stacy's mother.  On one hand very concerned about her daughter, wanting and needing to look after her.  But on the other hand not really thinking things through that much, letting her week turn into 10 days, and not showing any signs of keeping on top of what was happening, or being done, to her daughter while she was a test subject for computer control.

The way Robert, the CEO, had Stacy come in while he and her mother were in bed together, combined with his general attitude towards Stacy work well, but at the same time give us a fairly easy to follow and simple character, someone who is selfish, wicked, and just focusing on what they want, and having fun along the way.  Certainly someone who fits well into this world and situation.

Stacy's sister and her friends continue to be selfish, shallow air heads, so not much has changed there, but the promise of retribution, combined with the inability to really think things through or care to much make for interesting possibilities.  The sister clearly loves and wants to look after Stacy, but at the same time, she is to shallow to really think through the possible consequences of her actions, and is likely to stew on Stacy coming home dressed as the maid and pretending to have been re-programmed.

Seeing Stacy's regular returns to being a maid-bot are fun, they fit, and they also give a good opening to where things could go next.

Personally I am not very keen on the final line, it just feels a bit weak, the lack of any time limit, of any safety cut off, it feels like you are giving the reader a question without offering up much in the way of thoughts yourself.

So, putting these bits together, it suggests a couple of ways forward, if you are interested.  Stacy's flatmate learns about Stacy's desire and happiness as a maid-bot, but keeps this quiet and isn't sure what to make of it at first.  FOr one thing, without seeing this happen, since this is a private test by the company, no one is going to believe her anyway.

Now let the roommate end up in communication with Stacy's sister, and add in a wicked sense of humour for the flatmate...  Stacy's sister wants to get Stacy back, but doesn't know how, and isn't really the sort to plan.

SO they team up, the sister provides the big fancy house and plenty of guests to know both her and Stacy, and the flatmate provides the plan, along with the control headset for Stacy-maid-bot.  I am thinking something along the lines of a party where Stacy is tricked into playing a rigged game, is faced with some sort of "terrible" and humiliating forfeit she would never go for, so she is pinned down, the headset is applied forcefully, the computer takes over, converting Stacy into maid-bot with some different programming perhaps mid party, and now everyone gets to witness the humiliating punishment Stacy's sister has organised for her sister the maid.

I can see Stacy's mother being both horrified and intrigued, when she comes home unexpectedly with Robert on her arm, since they encounter Stacy the maid being used as a sex slave, which is both terrible for the daughter, but a gold mine for using people as controlled robots, especially if Stacy's memory and personality is intacked while this is happening, which her sister would appreciate. *evil smirk*
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: taurired on November 12, 2017, 03:10:16 PM
We arleady saw that maids are not programmed for this (scene when Stacy-bot is asked to service pussy) so it will be just raping unmoving doll.
But: It's possible that company produces androids for this purpose too and somebody human will also like to play. As computer  - controlled sexbot
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: oneupthextraman on November 15, 2017, 01:36:58 AM
If you are looking for ideas, I have a few

1) The sister is turned into a maid to teach her a lesson about respecting property. Or because the parents feel she is being a spoiled brat.
2) Sister is turned into a waitress at the local dinner because the parents are tired of her just spending all of their money
3) Stacy and some friends go to a local club, but the theme of the club is that some of the ladies are controlled by the central server (this is a weak idea, but its an idea)
4) Stacy's room mate discovered Stacy likes being controlled, and uses this to her advantage to have Stacy carry their books\laptop\what-not to her for class, and keep the dorm clean. Maybe some more direct control (like a remote, or something to have her walk around) and go get the room mate a drink from the local vending machine (or something like that).
5) After the technology advances, criminals are given the option of selecting jail, or being a rich (or normal) person's computer controlled maid. Maybe with more restricted clothing to prevent them from some how escaping the system and running away (high heels, tighter corset, tighter skirt)(maybe?)
6) Cheerleaders in college use the control device for their routines during football games?

These might not be the best ideas, but they can be a starting point, or something, maybe.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on November 15, 2017, 10:15:53 AM
Thanks for the great suggestions, I have read them all and will look at adding them to Stacy's storyline or branch off into another sub story. My current thoughts are along the lines of a sex-bot story, not for Stacy this time, but in her story arc.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: oneupthextraman on November 15, 2017, 12:33:07 PM
That sounds like fun. I look forward to reading it.
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: feline on November 17, 2017, 10:35:13 AM
Excellent news Gromet, I am looking forward to seeing where you take this.  Clearly you have really caught a lot of interest and imagination with this story [:)]

taurired, as for Stacy as a sex slave, yes, she bit, but she was told to make someone scream.  In the story it was pointed out that if you want the maid to provide sexual services you need to provide better and more direct instructions, remembering that you are dealing with a literal minded computer system.  A feeling I am rather familiar with myself *sigh*
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: Gromet on November 17, 2017, 04:31:30 PM
Story now online here on the forum is "Janet & the Sex-bot"
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: john titor on November 24, 2017, 11:03:23 PM
Please make the story stacy become permanent maid bot for her mother and sister , she doesnt need back to college , she beg her mom stay stacy bot
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: taurired on November 26, 2017, 07:33:36 AM
Why? We such stories arleady ('Bad end' of The Family Maid, How I become a maid-bot)
Why not continue for her to continue learning in college and sometimes use timed control program?

Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: john titor on November 28, 2017, 06:14:44 AM
Make alternatif story stacy forever become bot maid for her family , she choose drop out college ;D
Title: Re: The Family Maid by Gromet
Post by: silverbird on December 18, 2017, 12:05:27 PM
Some of us actually enjoy dark endings like the original Part 3. Don't judge us.

We come online to read things that are fantasy versus reality, things outside the realm of the vanilla. To maybe even imagine ourselves in the situations as seen. The total wipe of the mind and the establishment of a new personality embedded within the flesh was what brought me over the edge, for example, not the rest of the fetish play.

That said, there were parts of 3 and 3a that would have gone well together. The parents didn't need to die, for one. The sister's insanity wasn't a necessary plot point, though warranted. What of her going to find out what happened at the factory and finding herself on the wrong end of a conversion as well? Or other suitable darkness amongst the relative light?

Not saying it has to be written or made to happen. But with as few stories on here (not NChill tales, but others) that make great use of the MC tag, the original ending was more than good enough for me. Enough that I'm hoping to see more like that as the new site is populated with more tales.