Plaza Forum
Bondage => BoundStories Website Stories Feedback => Topic started by: teanndaorsa on August 23, 2022, 10:13:11 am
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You can view the story here on the plaza:
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain00.html
cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain01.html
M/f; bond; incest; teen; chain; conditioning; diet; mittens; naked; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain02.html
M/f; bond; incest; teen; chain; naked; conditioning; cuffs; oral; gag; toys; tease; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain03.html
M/f; bond; incest; teen; chain; naked; basement; conditioning; oral; punish; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain04.html
M/f; bond; incest; teen; chain; naked; basement; conditioning; diet; punish; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain05.html
M/f; bond; incest; teen; chain; naked; basement; conditioning; diet; mittens; mast; oral; punish; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain06.html
M/f; bond; tease; denial; mittens; oral; anal; toys; shop; cuffs; incest; teen; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain07.html
MF; sex; toys; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain08.html
Sbf; M/f; bond; gag; cuffs; toys; naked; outdoors; spank; paddle; sex; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain09.html
M/f; bond; sex; rope; pain; naked; cuffs; oral; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain10.html
M/f; bond; outdoors; rope; crop; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain11.html
M/f; fpov; bond; outdoors; oral; toys; rope; tickle; crop; tease; climax; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain12.html
M/f; naked; outdoors; tease; oral; toys; crop; bond; rope; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain13.html
F/f; fpov; cell; cage; electro; naked; piercing; chastity; oral; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain14.html
MF; fpov; cell; sex; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain15.html
F+/f; fpov; cell; naked; straps; toys; tease; brat; torment; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain16.html
F/f; M/f; bond; cage; cuffs; collar; electro; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain17.html
M/f; naked; oral; cell; cuffs; strappado; collar; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain18.html
MF/f; bond; discipline; naked; cell; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain19.html
M/f; F/f; cell; bond; collar; leash; electro; oral; cuffs; squirt; tease; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain20.html
F/f; bond; cell; cuffs; electro; taser; toys; whip; pain; force; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain21.html
F/f; fpov; bond; cuffs; bedtie; rope; urine; piercing; electro; torment; predicament; tease; denial; training; oral; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain22.html
F/f; bond; cuffs; cage; cell; chain; bedtie; toys; tease; sex; oral; caught; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain23.html
M/f; F/m; party; group; bond; cell; collar; rope; cuffs; electro; bodymod; food; messy; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain24.html
M/f; bond; spank; cuffs; naked; belt; hum; rom; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain25.html
M/f; naked; bond; rope; cuffs; susp; outdoors; barn; shed; oral; messy; food; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain26.html
M/f; bond; chain; barn; vetwrap; whip; chores; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain27.html
M/f; bond; cuffs; outdoors; punish; torment; pain; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain28.html
M/f; bond; outdoors; barn; cuffs; nipple; torment; rope; blindfold; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain29.html
M/f; bond; cuffs; nipple; torment; rope; predicament; game; tease; denial; sex; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain30.html
M/f; bond; chain; rope; strappado; cuffs; oral; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain31.html
M/f; bond; rope; whip; punish; belt; sex; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain32.html
M/f; bond; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain33.html
M/f; bond; cuffs; bedtie; piercing; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain34.html
M/f+; bond; rope; cuffs; food; messy; tickle; first; climax; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain35.html
MF/f; bond; mum; wrap; tape; nurse; buttplug; catheter; electro; tens; toys; straps; mast; oral; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain36.html
MF/f; bond; mum; wrap; tape; gag; blindfold; electro; tens; toys; tease; denial; climax; force; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain37.html
MF/f; strip; naked; cuffs; collar; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain38.html
M+/f+; MF/f; bond; cuffs; strip; punish; crop; naked; bedtie; rope; mast; sex; oral; breathplay; toys; tease; denial; rom; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain39.html
MF/f; bond; urine; hum; messy; spank; punish; mast; tease; denial; cuffs; rom; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain40.html
MF/f; bond; rope; basement; hogtie; clothespins; oral; toys; susp; clamps; sendep; tease; denial; rom; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain41.html
M/f+; naked; bond; rope; flogger; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain42.html
MF/f+; bond; rope; piercing; needles; oral; toys; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain43.html
MF+/f; bond; X-frame; cuffs; costume; oral; cell; voy; anal; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain44.html
M+F+/f; costume; outdoors; bond; collar; cuffs; public; cross; hum; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain45.html
M+F+/f; bond; cross; susp; display; public; cuffs; gag; naked; urine; breathplay; cons; XX
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain46.html
Sbf; F/f; bond; cell; naked; caught; mast; mittens; collar; petgirl; leash; cons; X
https://www.boundstories.net/storiesad/chain47.html
M/f; bond; petgirl; chain; collar; outdoors; cell; sex; cons; XX
Please feel free to leave your kind comments and feedback about this story here.
Thanks ;)
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*giggles* I love the introduction, such a fascinating setup, and also so very believable. Yes, it is an "unrealistic" situation and history, but it has internal logic, it makes sense, and at the end of the day it just sounds really unlikely, not inherently impossible, so you have a perfect setup and situation for the set of stories that are to follow, so I am really looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
As for the first story, that is fun and interesting. Seeing the family discussion and the setup is a lot of fun, but not sexy. Still, I really enjoyed this, it is nice to see the practicalities of doing things inside a family tackled so directly and efficiently :)
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I also like the setup. It's such an interesting idea.
However it feels utterly sureal to tell your 16yo casually "btw we go chain up your mom in the basement so she can lose weight."
Consider my dispense of disbelieve utterly and completely broken. I can only advise you to go for lightheartedness in the story... Because unbelievable stories that take themselves too seriously mostly get ridiculous.
Some feedback on the execution...
I can find nothing sexy in dumping a hole rulebook into a story and I'm a lawyer. There are other, better ways to get these rules to the reader... preferably by showing, not telling.
I would give this one a 13/20 on the European University scoreboard. Utterly solid and enjoyable albeit with room for improvement.
Thank you very much for sharing!
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Feline and T.H.
Thanks for the excellent feedback. I really appreciate the time you took. I have no idea what the "European University scoreboard" is but 13/20 sounds OK :-).
I admit that the numbered list of rules is a bit of a cop out on my part. I think for me, these first two chapters were setting the stage. I promise you (since I've already written 40+ chapters) that I get better about putting details into the story line. I also add more sex and bondage in each chapter going forward, in a few chapters a LOT more. There is, however, one chapter much later in the series that is an entire chapter in outline form - it's actually an owners instruction manual for an electronic chastity device. It will probably be the MOST unique "story" ever published on Gromets and I can't wait to see (both negative and positive) how people react to it. If people take it as a framework onto which they can drop their own fantasies then it may work, if not, they will hate it.
As for believably of these first two chapters - or as I like the think of it, giving the reader the ability to "suspend disbelief," I would argue that there are families like this, where sex and even bondage is discussed openly. I wrote the introduction to try and set a tone for the entire town where, for generations there had been an attitude of sexual tolerance. Of course, to put this town in rural Alabama may be the most unbelievable part of the scenario LOL.
Perhaps this is more believable to me because I personally knew a family that practiced nudism. Most of the neighbors simply knew they usually kept their drapes and blinds closed but other than that they were just average working class Americans. On weekends and a few weeks a year they frequented a family oriented nudist campground in North Georgia with their kids and many other families.
Also consider native Americans and pioneers (and for that matter many people around the world in lower income countries) who live in one "room" tents, cabins or shacks. Sometimes two or three generations in the same room. This was best demonstrated by a scene in the Kevin Costner movie "Dances with Wolves" where Lt. John Dunbar and his new bride Dances with Wolves make love for the first time just a few feet away from her parents who are doing the equivalent of high-fiving each other. Modern society has, since the influence of Puritanism and the Victorian era, demonized and guilt-ed sex to a point where we can no longer imagine such a family life.
I don't personally know any families where bondage is discussed and even practiced within a family with teenage children - but I'd be amazed if it didn't exist.
So that is at least part of the background onto which I wrote this story.
However - the story is fiction and certainly part fantasy - and later chapters will probably require you to 'suspend disbelief' even more.
Hope you keep reading and keep the feedback coming. Thanks again.
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I would actually argue, given the setting and the massive health concern coming down the line from the mothers weight gain, that having to tell the daughter about the weight loss plan is the lesser of two evils.
Yes, it seems completely crazy and stupid, but if you feel that it is that or an early grave for the mother, for your wife... plus it is something that is very important to the parents, and they have done their best to keep up a divider between what needs to be shared and what is private. They gave her a chance to stop them, they were open and considerate, and considering the things the daughter has no doubt seen on the internet, well, is it really so out there?
I am just taking the "different people, different rules" view of things here.
As for the chapter with the manual for an electronic chastity device, I am actually really looking forward to seeing that, since if it is well done it could be a fascinating start point!
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Part 4 up tonight, enjoy
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*giggles* shock, horror, surprise, this isn't the first generation that have used this general plan to handle the weight loss requirements! Not really a surprise, unless you don't realise that there are actually kinky people out there *smirk*
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*giggles* shock, horror, surprise, this isn't the first generation that have used this general plan to handle the weight loss requirements! Not really a surprise, unless you don't realise that there are actually kinky people out there *smirk*
Of all ages :-P
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Really enjoying all of the story threads so far. Nice to see that you've got things working out between Lou and Leon so that they are both having a good time with each other. I understand you've got a lot of threads in "the tank". I assume we'll be learning a lot about some of the other residents of Chain, Alabama. I'll be eagerly looking forward to them.
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Just finished chapter 6, the family dynamics in all of this really make me smile. Watching as Clair slowly but surely realises that her tastes and interests also run in this direction is so fun :) Slowly going from the total horror and revulsion that her parents are not only sexual beings, but have an active, and even worse, deeply kinky sex life, to starting to realise that she may well need to follow very closely in their own footsteps is quite the delight.
The wicked and evil teasing between her parents is a delight. Husband is being so completely mean and wicked here, then again, if he wasn't able to be so "heartless" and hold firm to the rules then this system would never work for them, it would never give his wife the very important and necessary health benefits that she requires, and they would not be such a happy and together couple :)
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Up to chapter 8, the last 2 chapters were a bit different, but it is nice to see the author realise and appreciate that sex and a sex drive don't magically disappear just because you are older. Also the characters are well drawn, the is a lot of compassion, consideration and general goodness at work here, and it is fun seeing how much all of this both runs in the family, and the options for it are embedded in the community nature and spirit :)
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Thanks feline. It's nice to know that my readers are getting exactly the tone and themes that I was aiming for.
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Found this very intriguing.
You have put a lot of flesh on my bones of how such an event should work.
I also think the two of your are lucky to have each other.
Certainly hope you plan on sharing the entire weekend.
Oh! I didn't get lost at all in this chapter.
Duncan O'Neil Kennedy Cunningham
Master of Carmichael
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Chapter 11 up tonight, enjoy
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Chapter 13 up for your reading pleasure tonight
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Great story and I have enjoyed all the chapters to date.
I think Chapter 13 is my favorite one.
Can we please get Jill in some heavy bondage? Some whip marks would be amazing as well.
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Loving part 13, really fun idea. The profit sharing and way to motivate the employees is very interesting, and fits into the whole town and its spirit very well.
I am especially interested to see how many of the features of the cage she might be interested in ordering... cost isn't an issue, so she would be free to go all out if she wanted... and the chastity device would fit in with some of her games and interests rather well. As for the whole and having to service people, well, no reason for her husband to be denied while she is locked up, but will anyone else want or need to know what is going on here? It almost seems to good of an opportunity for others not to know about this, or maybe she should just consider visiting here occasionally, to, you know, help out on quiet days? *evil smirk*
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chain part 14
Of course she wants them to check out the basement and quote for the cell! *giggles* Oooh, the rail, the lock, the safety connections to the other house systems, this all fits in very well and makes a great deal of sense, I like this :)
The husband is so lovely and supportive, this is one of the aspects that I really do enjoy about all of this :) And I find that I totally agree with his concern and point that she cannot / should not be locked into her new cell without someone around to keep watch and supervise her... of course, there is a rather obvious solution to this problem isn't there, especially with her recently discovered and growing interest in lesbian aspects of all of this... especially since lesbian activities aren't always considered to be cheating... interested to see where this is going, but given all of the spending on the cell and the extras, surely it is going to get more use than just a bit?!
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Part 15, a very interesting insight into how things work at the metal shop, and also a surprising introduction to a new side of Jill's sexuality, which clearly comes as quite a surprise to her as well :) This is down right wicked and evil, but also very carefully managed and done. The side conversation about different people having different kinks works well, and it is good to show the general open attitude, and the point that it is important to explain and educate.
Watching Jill start to realise and get into what dealing with a brat entails is very entertaining :)
The whole emotional breakdown about Jill cheating feels almost odd, but on reflection, I think it is just a reminder that in a lot of ways she is still very sheltered and innocent. Saying that, that is NOT to say that she should keep what has happened a secret, but I don't see how it counts as cheating. But it does open up a new set of conversations with her husband, and it is very important to see the strength of their communication and commitment to each other, especially since there are hints about another woman getting involved with keeping Jill in her cell when her husband is away... or so I like to hope anyway :)
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Part 16, I really enjoyed all the little details about the construction, how well it is put together, rounding off the bolts so they would have to be cut off, not just released, etc. Fun, sexy, enjoyable and setting up such a wonderful situation. All of the sensors that can be added and programmed, so much can be organised and done here to make her stays in the cell so much more interactive...
Yet, at the same time, such a bloody tease, since the chapter heading said "Jill and Bob solve the problem of his being out of town so much. Enjoy." yet this didn't happen! Still, combine this heading with Helen looking for a new job, and how well Helen handles Jill in the cell, and her evil, creative mind, I do hope this is going to come together to produce something wonderful soon!
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Just read chapter 16. Enjoying the stories as they develop and as the characters develop too. I am eagerly waiting for the next chapters. Thanks for the work Budman
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feline, Redhead, Duncan, deSquared,
I haven't had time to respond to each of your most kind posts but I did want you to know that I am reading them and that I really appreciate the time you take to provide feedback.
Not to do too many spoilers - but things will get a bit more intense Redhead, especially when the story turns to Daughter Clair as she passes 18 and follows in her mother's footsteps.
I'm glad you appreciate the detail feline, I sometimes worry that I'm focusing too much on that stuff and not enough on "action."
Thanks again and keep the feedback, suggestions and critiques coming.
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Yay, you are noticing comments :) Almost sounds silly, but some authors don't seem to notice or care about comments.
Just finished part 17, really pleased to see this! I would not call this sexy, but it is very fun and good plot building. This is the sort of background and setting up that we need to make sense of things, and where they are going. It show important details about how their relationship works, the trust, what Jill wants and needs, and what they are open to happening going forward with this new household helper. It is all about setting up good things for what is going to follow and to come next :)
His generosity in ordering all of these new and extra toys for Jill also speaks volumes both for his love for his wife, but also his commitment, both in money terms and in terms of investing time and energy in making her happy. This is good both for their lives together, but also for encouraging Helen that she is being asked to work for a good family, and will be moving towards a good situation and environment.
Looking forward to more fun and games :)
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Just finished chapter 17. Based on that setup, I expect the next several chapters will be rather entertaining with Bill, Jill, and Helen as Jill-Keeper. Who knows what will happen if Clair comes back home for a weekend or two. It's to the point that I'm now checking Gromethsplaza every day to see if new chapters are being posted
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feline,
I love comments and feedback! I wish there was more.
I always try to comment on stories I read at the Plaza. What I hate are authors that get defensive when you make comments. I fully realize that all of our kinks are different - what we each find sexy or stimulating in a story is different - and so I always try to be constructive in my comments and try hard to never say that old BDSM Forum bugaboo: "You're doing it wrong!" :-). And by the way - I appreciate that you, Redhead and desquared all post very constructive comments.
But it amazes me how many times I've made what I thought was a very nice comment, with a few suggestions, on someone's story and been blasted back like I'd told them they were the worst author since John Norman. LOL.
And I appreciate suggestions, corrections, etc. I'm horrible at getting names confused. I frequently discover on editing that I've mixed up Jill with Clair with Jenny with Jerri, with . . . . It gets worse as the series goes on and I introduce more characters. And then I'm bad about other consistency issues, like when did Clair turn 18? And was it Jerri or Jenny that was in the cell last month? Every time I go back and re-read a story I find errors and it drives me crazy. So although I can't easily fix them once published, I can fix my copies if you find something.
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Part 18 is up, and it is more of a house keeping part than raw sexiness, but it is very important for all of that. We do need to know the rules, expectations and aims of Jill's keeper. Indeed, Jill does seem to think she has a new best friend ever, for sleep overs and girly chats, rather than someone who is going to put her into her place and firmly keep her there... so the next week is going to be a very interesting, painful and distracting time for her! Plus, with her husband away for several days, no orgasms allowed *evil smirk*
It is good to see where the responsibility for Jill having an unauthorised orgasm lies, as it should *smirk*
If I were to make one comment on the technical side of your writing, it would be to pay a bit more attention to the double quotes that indicate when someone is speaking. You are prone to leaving some of these out, so it makes it that bit more difficult to read the story as intended, to know what is spoken and what isn't. You can work it out from context, but since you are interested in feedback I thought I would mention it. It doesn't spoil the story, which I am clearly very much enjoying, but it is something that could help without hopefully being to much trouble.
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feline,
Thanks for the feedback. I didn't realize I missed some quotes. I'm really bad a proof reading - every single time I re-read a story I find more stuff I need to fix. And that includes AFTER they have been put on the site :-(. And I DO proof read them AND use MS Word's spell and grammar checkers - but as we all know, they don't always catch mis-used worlds or missing quotes.
You're right on Chapter 18. A previous reviewer criticized on of my early chapters for containing a numbered list of "rules" and suggested I put that stuff into the context of the story. I tried to do that a bit more here but I'm still an engineer at heart and I fall into writing "documentation" all too easily :-).
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Wow, this story is getting hotter and hotter!
Denial is my kink, so this is *my shit*
I love how enthusiastic you’ve made Jill for her own suffering; this fucked up scenario is truly a co-creation of perverted minds!
Also, as a dyke, we love to see it
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Part 19 is now posted, and this is a lot of fun! I really do like the "intelligence" of Jill when she points out that Helen can be her friend as well as her jailor, since she is giving her, her friend, what she wants and needs. Getting Clair on the call with Helen was quite the surprise though!
Actually very logical and sensible, and yes, clearly something that needs to be done and to happen, for the safety and keeping everyone in the loop, but still, it goes against the common approach of keeping everything "naughty" a closely guarded secret. Even accepting and seeing the need for the call, I was still shocked and stunned, and definitely delighted, when Clair made it clear just how much she was there to help and support Helen, and that Helen really had her work cut out for her when dealing with her mother!!! Priceless! Talk about a daughter who has finally and fully come to terms with the reality of her parents relationship, how much kink matters, and how much it is going to be taking a major and ongoing place in her life as well *smirk*
I am very curious as to what new project the materials are for, but we will hopefully find out soon enough. The teasing and training has already started, this is going to be so much fun! *evil smirks*
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Greyjoy,
Glad you're enjoying it. As a straight guy I'd be interested in your feedback on these and future Ff scenes. Where sex and bondage is concerned, I normally write what I know - but in these scenes I'm definitely going with my imagination and what I've seen in porn, not first hand knowledge. And we all know how accurate porn is :-).
Feline,
Thanks as always for your detailed and thoughtful comments and analysis.
As you've probably figured out - a major theme I'm exploring in the first 30 or so chapters is: What would a normal, American, suburban family, that also just happens to embrace sex and Kink, look like.
I have no interest in Incest or anything close - you'll never find Bob and Clair playing - and you may have Clair involved in being a safety net or even helping Bob with some tasks related to Clair, but you'll never have Clair and Jill (or Clair and her Grandmother in future chapters) actively playing with each other. Those activities would not fit into their family ethics.
Yea, the comment about the grandmother is a teaser :-). She has appeared once in a phone call - but she's about to become a more major character as I also start exploring what Kink looks like for the elderly (since I are one!)
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Just fininshed chapter 21. Still really enjoying the story. Things are getting intense for Jill. Hope she will be able to keep it up
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Just finished chapter 22. I skipped commenting on a couple of parts, but to be fair I didn't really have much to say. They were fairly brutal, but that was and is required to really set the scene and the situation in place. Unless Jill knows for certain, due to it actually happening, that the punishments are this harsh, that the restraint is this constant, and the big punishment for being difficult is so terrible, she isn't really going to get and have the experience and time that she so clearly wants and desires.
Having said that, I did find some of the descriptions of the bondage contraptions hard to follow. The outline idea was clear enough, but I did not manage to visualise what was happening in more detail. But since I wasn't that into seeing her treated so harshly, while accepting that this is required to achieve the ends and set the scene, it didn't bother me.
Seeing the end of the week was good. All of that torment and suffering really did build up to a massive end point, but I do have to take issue with the point the angry Jill made, that she did all of this suffering "for her husband", since we all know she did it just as much, if not more so, for herself. Yes, she shares this life with her husband, but a lot of this is coming from and is driven by her. Not that this matters when she is that horny and angry *smirk*
I did enjoy jumping forward in time, and getting a sense of how life really works for all of them. The emotional toll of all of this is clear, but at the same time, this is exactly the life and approach that Jill really wants. I do wonder how they are going to balance her keeper starting to have more of a life outside of being a "full time" keeper is going to work. I don't see Jill wanting to cut back on her captivity time all that much, but at the same time these different things do need to be balanced and handled.
Still, it did make me giggle, seeing how little her friends at tennis cared about her jewellery *smirk*
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Thanks feline,
I struggled with those device descriptions. And I struggled all the more because I have frequently had the same problem with other authors writing here.
I probably should have done some drawings - but I have NO artistic talent, not even for mechanical drawings. Teann can include drawings in a story although very few authors do so.
Let me take another crack at it for you.
Picture a playground see saw. The seesaw is attached (screwed or bolted down) to the middle of a sheet of plywood. The pivot point is only 2 inches above the plywood and the "board" that goes up and down is a metal pipe about a 18 inches long (46cm). The female submissive lays on the plywood face down, spreads her legs and slides down impaling herself on 1/2 of the pipe until she bottoms out on the pivot point. A wedge is then used to raise the part of the see saw still outside her vagina (simultaneously pushing down on the 1/2 inside her vagina. This effectively clamps the front wall of her vagina to the plywood under her lower belly. Since she can't reach the wedge, even if her hands are free, she is effectively trapped.
The other device is essentially the same see saw but mounted vertically to a cell bar with a clamp. The effect is to clamp the front wall of the vagina to the cell bar.
I have NO idea if either of these would actually work, and/or how painful they would be if clamped hard enough to make sliding off unbearable.
I've never seen a porn video at sites like DeviceBondage.com or Steelbondage.com do anything like this. I got the idea from the 'one bar prison' that you will see frequently on the net.
Did that help?
Yes, the story is getting more intense.
Starting with Chapter 24, as the story switches to daughter Clair, it will get even more brutal. The tone stays emotionally light, loving and consensual, but Clair discovers that, where her mother is mostly a bondage slut, Clair is a pain slut and her new boyfriend gets into the spirit. If that's not your thing I understand, but I think you'll enjoy the evolution of Clair and the story is going to switch to her at least through chapter 35, which is where I'm writing now.
I also hope to revisit Shwarts Iron works in the near future and explore some more group lesbian bondage and torment including a crucifixion story.
I get your point about Jill's "for him" comment. I think, at the time she was angry AT Bob because he wasn't acknowledging her suffering for 'him.' Perhaps her not seeing the irony in that anger should have been more a part of this paragraph.
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That was definitely clearer and easier to visualise. One of the things that put me off when reading it was the sense of the size of the pipe, and the depth of penetration. Since this isn't a story set in a world of magic, or super science, where serious damage can just be waved away, it left me uneasy and unsettled, with the feeling that this might be doing serious damage to the body.
I am certainly going to keep reading for now :) There is a lot going on here that I like, and the emotional elements are working. The characters feel like real people, there is interest there, I can and do get drawn into things, and am interested in seeing where they go and how things develop.
Brutal isn't automatically a concern in a story, it partly depends on the how and the why. Also I tend to have a hard limit with permanent damage being done. That's some peoples desired reading, but not mine, so we will see, but I don't get the sense you are thinking in these terms.
Plus I need to hang around for the promised chapter that is the instruction manual for a chastity belt, you caught my interest with that *evil smirk*
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Chapter 23 just made me smile quite a bit, this was fun :) It is really interesting, although not really surprising, given all we have seen and learned, that Jill and Bob are so "innocent" in the sense of never sharing their secret with anyone, and being quite unaware of the wider world of kink and kink knowledge that was all around them. Then again, they never had a need or a reason to look, or expose themselves, so it all makes sense.
Still, the idea that what happened at such an innocent party was so terrible does make me want to giggle, while at the same time I do respect their general sense of trying to be careful, polite and respectful as they enter an entirely new world for them :)
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Part 24 is up, and it's nice to be back to Clair. Good to see her taking her relationship seriously, and introducing him to more of the family, a clear sign that she feels there is a good future here between the two of them :)
Good to see them finally learning about the need to talk, explain, and share what they are actually thinking, wanting and expecting out of things. Without this sort of proper communication they are simply not going to make this work. It is to "different" to what people expect normally, Clair isn't just going to get her needs met by magic without explaining what they are.
I really do enjoy watching Fred's emotions, as he tries to both be loving, supportive and an evil sadist at the same time. It is quite the balancing act, and it is a lot of fun to watch and enjoy :)
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Yea, we're going to stay on Clair and Fred for quite a few Chapters. I'm not saying we won't get back to Bob and Jill, but I kinda burned out on ideas for them. They are into incarceration play but not really into other or harder forms of BDSM and I wanted to explore some other themes. Clair and Fred are young enough and Clair is enough of a masochist that I can explore some harder themes with them. And they will meet some new friends and play partners down the road.
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Another visit with Fred and Clair up this evening...
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Chapter 25 is up, and I really enjoyed this one. Fun emotions, it is interesting seeing the two sides, and seeing Fred slowly working out what he is trying to do here, who he is trying to be. At the same time seeing the very positive reactions he is getting, and the blending of harsh and loving, it feels warm and lovely, while still being harsh enough to give Clair the feelings and treatment that she so clearly needs and craves :)
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Chapter 26, and this is fun, Fred is really starting to understand his role in all of this, and is making good progress thinking up good ways to balance the required / desired harshness with proper care. I do like the insight into Clairs emotions and feeling in all of this to :)
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Feline. I continue to enjoy and appreciate your comments. Thanks.
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Chapter 27, I will admit her cleaning the shoes with her mouth was unpleasant, but at the same time this is both a fantasy, and a good experiment with the sorts of harsh treatment she wants and needs, and what Fred is prepared and able to put her through.
His talk with her at the end was very well timed and done, this is something that very much needs to happen, that needs to be reviewed and considered. What was surprising was how far he still has to go in truly meeting her needs and desires for punishment and pain. It will be interesting to see how this goes and works out. So far it is working well for me since there is a lot of emotional connection, its not empty pain for pain's sake, it is a loving relationship that needs this and is exploring this that is happening.
Still, I have to admit squirming at nailing her breasts to the railing. I know it can be done, but I just don't like needles. As for strangulation... no, just no. It's called edge play for a reason, and I just don't like things that can so easily go wrong. Personal preferences and all that, I know, but there we go :)
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I'm enjoying this story immensely. It started simple and light-hearted, and although the characters are still happy, their actions are definitely getting on the extreme side of the spectrum. I like it. It satisfies my kink for extreme, hardcore bondage, while mantaining consent and the enjoyment of everyone envolved. Having several couples and households in the mix helps keep things fresh, but don't spread yourself thin (but I would love to read a spin-off with just the Ironworks dynamics).
A story where so many people are into the BDSM life-style, and on the harsher side of that is certainly not based on reality, but there are more of us than people realize, and I see this as a 'what if people weren't so quick to clutch their pearls' kind of situation. The realistic version of Jill getting socially shunned for her behaviour would not create such a good story as this.
Clair side of the story is really good and kinky, and even the boot event was great. Yes, gross and unappealing at first, but Fred did took care of rinsing her mouth and got Clair into the proper state of mind. With what she can take I'm really looking forward to see what tortures from the pits of hell will be needed to break her like she wants. And I'm pretty sure that Jill would like to go to the same depths of pain.
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Johnyburner - I also want to do a spin off at Schwartz Iron works. I have something in mind that involves a company picnic were the main entertainment is a day long crucifixion (no nails just suspension cuffs) by one of the Schwartz employees who's always fantasized about being crucified. I can picture the town's kinky doctor being the sole judge of when she can be taken down based on the readings from an oxygen monitor on her finger. The image of a girl suffering on the cross, doing 'the dance' all the while people are having a picnic on the grounds around her cross is stuck in my head. I'll write it someday. But I have SO many other ideas I'm working on.
Glad you like Clair and Fred - I'm sticking with them for quite a few chapters as they are more extreme than other members of the family and I'm having fun with that.
Appreciate your comments and feedback - keep reading.
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Chapter 28, coming along nicely :) I did smile at the very different views they are taking on her nipples, on what looks sexy, and how to dress and appreciate your little slave captive :)
The emotions are well handled, the loving concern being balanced with the need to be harsh and relentless in your torment. It will be interesting to see how he handles drop, since this is moving into a rather new area. Hopefully he has some awareness of what has just happened, so this won't be a complete shock, and he has some ideas of how to treat Clair now.
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Up to chapter 30 now. As the author suggested, this is getting harsher, but it is being done, in general, in a careful and loving way that is really nice.
I almost feel like I should be risking whiplash watching Fred jump back and forward between being really gentle and loving, and a complete sadist :) Yet this thought misses the whole point of this, his sadism is in large part coming from his love and devotion. He is learning and discovering a whole new way of being, and of treating his love, since this is what she wants and needs from him. Yes, clearly he is getting quite a lot from this, and he is enjoying the power and control, but he is also clearly aware of and sensitive to the responsibilities that come with this, the need to learn, to check in, to be sensible and aware of things.
He is trying, and over all doing a very good job, of balancing sadism with sensible and necessary care.
One of the things that really does make me smile is their very different views and expectations on what makes Clair look sexy, or on what her being a good girl looks like. As a captive slave destined to be punished, giving a blowjob hardly counts as that much of a good girl, just basic slave behaviour ;) The high heals while walking with the horse, another place where they have very different views. Or the extreme makeup. They definitely end up with quite different thoughts and perspectives, which is important, since it gives us the two sides that are required to make the whole here :)
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Amazing chapter 31! Harsh, evil, but also romantic, in a very BDSM way. We finally saw what it took to break Clair.
I loved the reference to NuWest. I see you are a man of culture as well! And I do believe you managed to convey the sensuality that their ritualistic whippings had.
The description was great and really built up to the climax. A great job, in all honesty.
I understand the story revolves more around Jill, but I hope we'll see more of these two love birds.
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Thanks for all the feedback. I realize that scenes this harsh are not everyone's cup of tea. Rest assured that this is about the harshest scene I've written out of 45 or so Chapters.
And johnyburner - actually I pretty much finished up Jill and Bob's story line. Oh, they will appear again as secondary Clair's parents, but from here on the story switches to Clair and Fred and some new friends they meet in College.
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Chapter 31 is indeed harsh, but very well done. Fred reacting in anger when he is trying to be sensible and properly care for his girlfriend feels very real and believable. Also he is adult enough and wise enough to see and understand that this is wrong, and it is a path he must not walk down.
Clair comes across as almost wilfully ignorant of what she is getting into, but again very believable and real. I am certainly familiar with this view that they can take everything, so safety measures are for other people. This brutal experience should finally show her how serious all of this can be, and thus the need to be sensible and careful is actually very real and important!
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Feedback part 28 included.
I started the story, discovered I wasn't in the right mood and decided to restart later. That later was thus yesterday ;)
I binged the story. That's a good sign. I'm not a native speaker, so my feedback will be riddled with mistakes.
I started at part 1, skipping the introduction this time. This experience was just fine. I would advise to look into the introduction and work necessary bits of info into the body of your story. Show, don't tell.
If I had to describe this story to a friend I would describe it as part bdsm-fairytale, part bondage/incarceration/torture porn part coming of age story.
The good thing: a lot of hot scenes all over the place.
The bad thing: It's quite obvious to me that for a good part you chased the curve, feeling the need to always increase the intensity of the sessions.
And that's kind of logic. Because you placed the action into a particular liberal town and you made everybody and literally their grandma BDSM-affictionado's you eliminated most of the potential for conflict that could drive your story. Evrybody is immediatly onboard or grows into the place almost frictionless. Because everything allways goes so smooth I only feel a lukewarm attachement to the protagonists.
So most of the progression in the story has to come from chasing the curve and ramping up the intensity in some way. By going more extreme in Bondage and incarceration and introducing more elements of sadism/masochism and humiliation.
All in all... I would say about 14/20 on the European academic scale. Very solid, delivers on its strong points, but with a bit of tweaking, a tiny modicum of conflict and drama to get the readers really rooting for, especially Clair more would be possible.
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Read parts 29-31.
Just for the record. Harder means harder, not better.
We left the range of severity I personally find arousing some parts ago.
If it's just more curve-chasing from now on, I've really read enough.
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T.H.
14. If I'm converting that right, that would be a 70/100 or a C- on the U.S. Academic Scale. That's passing (barely) so I'll take it.
Personally I hate 'conflict' so, although I recognize it may make for interesting plot devices, you'll probably never see me include it.
Don't give up on reading just yet. I've written up to about chapter 40 (The site is releasing one per week) and 29-31 are by far the "hardest" of them all. I tone down quite a bit in the next 10 chapters because I introduce some new, more novice friends that Clair and Fred meet. And being new, they don't play quite as hard. But I am exploring more forms of bondage including mummification, 2 girl predicaments, etc.
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate the thought and effort you put into your comments.
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Darn, I hate it when I find a continuity mistake in a story AFTER it's published.
See of you can spot it in chapter 34. It involves a vibrator.
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Not sure if you mean the mistake of a vibrator misteriously appearing out of thin air, or a certain Bob misteriously appearing in the action for just a couple of frames.
Good chapter though (I only noticed Mr. Bob myself, the other is a bit more subtle). I think I'm starting to see how the story branches out, and I'm looking forward to it. I just hope that there's not a litany of new characters that will need me to make a cheat-list on the side. I also enjoyed the harsh bondage. It didn't come from nowhere. It came from two people finding their limits in a consentual and loving relationship. It wasn't just torture porn, like it happens in many other stories, it came from love and understanding, and that journey was enjoyable to read. But now I wish to see something in the same vein, but with Fred and Clair already aware of their limits and desires and so, being able to play hard not in a discovery fashion, but as a more every-day kind of bondage play. Well, maybe every-other-other-day, so she can have time to recover!
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Up to chapter 34 now, the marriage and getting space together made sense, and the mechanics of the different generations of the family working out how to share the available space at the farm is fun, but nothing to massively exciting there. But important steps moving us forward with these characters and where they are going with their lives.
But chapter 34 though, the part that really caught my eye was at the start, where we learn that Fred is taking a course explaining how, and teaching how, to run psychology experiments on human subjects, and he has a lab partner! I really do hope that this means we can explore some of the more mental aspects of all of this with Clair, rather than "just" focussing on increasingly harsh physical bondage and punishment.
The living arrangements making that hard helps to push them in a new direction, to try something a bit different, so I am hoping that this is something the story is going to explore. I am OK with how things have gone so far, but we are going to reach a point soon where it is going to be hard to increate the physical pain element on Clair without really getting extreme, or more extreme, depending on your point of view.
Instead introducing Regina, and her hyperactive nature adds an interesting new dynamic and direction for this :)
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Chapter 35, a nice change of pace and direction, and a fun read. I am looking forward to seeing how all of this works and develops! Seeing the care and attention to detail that is taking place here to make the experience safe and well monitored for Clair is very reassuring and good.
Regina really is growing into quite the little helper here with all of these games isn't she? The level of her growing interest is quite clear, which is fun and interesting.
Near the end when Fred is explaining that he and Clair never discussed her giving Regina pleasure, and Clair doesn't remember being part of the conversation, that really made me smile. That is clearly a conversation the two of them need to have, so they end up properly on the same page here, since keeping Regina happy and involved is clearly good for them and their games :)
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Chapter 36, I love the wickedness of this! Really mean, but done very well. Well described, well told, and it is interesting to see the different perspectives on this, the different people bringing different things to the experience Clair is getting.
Getting her so confused works well, since it adds a great deal to the experience. Showing the panic attack is good, since it shows both how intense all of this is for Clair, but also how well the situation is being handled and taken care of, so she is not left alone to face this on her own.
The ending was a surprise, even though Regina's growing interest in all of this has been quite clear for a while now. Certainly looking forward to seeing where you go with all of this from here.
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Chapter 37, I am tempted to comment about throwing Regina in at the deep end, but actually, things are going well and working well. There is a fair bit of head fucking on the loose here, but it is fun, sexy, and interesting. I do like how Clair and Fred are working out the new boundaries of their relationship and seeing where things are going to go from here for them.
Regina is definitely going to be pushed quite a bit here, but at the same time, how else is she going to see and find out what she really wants and enjoys. I could not help a mixture of a wince and a tired eye roll at Regina's complete lack of understanding at first of the importance of proper limits, and just how crazy the amount of leeway she was leaving her captors with, leaving herself well open to things that she actually really doesn't want. Seen that happen far to many times, and it is a lesson that keeps having to be repeated and explained again and again :)
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A return to our kinky town this evening, with more chapters to come, enjoy!
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Chapter 45 up tonight, crucification complete!
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Part 46 up tonight with some puppy play, enjoy!
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I admit, I held off reading the crucifixion parts for a while, since knowing how dark some stories can get, that just left me with some serious concerns. So when I finally decided to have a look, seeing that it was to be done with support cuffs left me happy enough to have a look.
Chapter 43, with the preparations, is interesting, but also unsettling. The level of sadism being requested, and looked for, is high, and nasty, but this was never designed to be a light and fluffy scene. The planning works well and is interesting, while I find I have mixed feelings about the woman in the cell being "offered up" as a use her and use her hard sex toy. That is set up very well though, with the mixed messages, as she protests and begs for mercy, while making sure to make sure to her "abuser" that she is actually consenting to what is to come.
Still, a bit brutal for my tastes, but at the same time, hell of a statement scene in the scene with all of the workers gathered around and watching.
At the same time, our victim out back in the tiny cage all night, crying and all cried out from the pain, and things haven't even really started yet... it is what it is designed to be, but not something for the more romantic side of my nature.
Chapter 44, I am wondering if there is a reason for the heavy grease covering, or if it was just one more humiliation being piled on.
Reading on, the whole setting is keeping up the feeling of doom and pressure. The trial is funny, well, funny from the outside anyway :) Someone with a crush on her, and knowing her sexuality, as the main witness for the trial, now that is just adding mental cruelty to all of this! That is well done. Then the sentence, well, "almost dead" is not a reassuring statement, but this is also exactly what she went into this looking for.
As for expecting people to pay more attention to her while she is on the cross, why would they? Yes, she is mostly naked, and suffering, but she is just hanging there, not really doing anything. There is no general interaction at work, so no real reason for people outside of the ones monitoring her to keep a close eye on her. Everyone else is going to want to get on with enjoying the party.
All in all an interesting and fitting part of the story, but not really for me, but I knew that going in, but still wanted to know what was happening and how :)
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Chapter 46, that is MUCH more my speed, verging on the romantic in a way :)
I find the contrast between her being so completely at home and natural with nudity, while so hung up on being a freak to be very interesting, and it is a good way to give colour and interest to an otherwise fairly bland character. Of course, her time playing dog also adds quite a bit of colour and interest to her.
Hopefully, given the ending promising more to come, we are going to see more of her, especially since this seems to be a natural and fun solution to the whole wanting a pet at home, mixed in with the complexities that come with it. So hoping for some more soon! :)
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Feline,
Good comments as always.
I've had that Crux story in my head for years and, yes, it's dark. But I got that out of my system and I think you'll enjoy the rest of Puppy Maggie's story.
I also have an entirely new story line coming out (not part of the Chain universe) that I think you'll like. The Chateau starts a little slow as I build characters and scene but picks up in the second and third chapters.
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The wild and crazy things that go on in the town of Chain. Really enjoying the variety of stories.